Sometimes a relationship ends and for whatever reason one person is not able to let it go. They want to be back with the person that they were in the relationship with. They may have feelings that they cannot let go of. Or perhaps they have realized that the relationship ending was not the right thing and they want to fix it.

If a person was responsible for the relationship ending and things not working out!, they may harbor a great deal of guilt. They may have a strong urge to make things right and win their mate back. This is especially true in a situation where there has been infidelity or some other trust issue that is most often a definite relationship deal breaker.

In some cases they may have had a momentary lapse in judgment. They could have thought that they wanted something different and then as soon as they had that, they realized it was not really what they wanted. They know that they hurt their partner and in some cases they cannot handle this thought. They are willing to do whatever it takes to get the person back and to repair the relationship.

In other circumstances, people decide that they need to be back together for different reasons. Some people are lonely. They may not be able to handle being alone. If both people are feeling lonely and not happy, they can seek the comfort that they have gotten so used to.

They will go back into the relationship, no matter what the reasons were for ending it to begin with, simply to have that closeness and comfort. They do not want to be alone. They want that empty hole to be filled back up. They will get back into the relationship to spend time together.

Once they have done this, they quickly realize the original reasons that they ended the relationship and things fall apart again. This can start a vicious cycle. They continue to go back and forth between being in a relationship with each other and then ending the relationship due to the same old differences.

No matter what the reasons are, a decision to reenter a relationship is one that cannot be taken lightly. It cannot be made at an emotional time. You need to have a clear head and focus, to be able to decide if getting back into the relationship is the best option. If not, you are likely to end up with the relationship ending again and with any chance of a friendship being thrown away.

You and your ex both need to spend time talking about your relationship and what you both want. If you are both in agreement that you should work things out, then you need to decide how to go about rebuilding your relationship.

Often, people that are starting over will start out by dating all over again like when they first started. They will pretend that they have never been in a relationship altogether. This gives them a completely fresh start and helps them to do things the right way and improve their relationship. But, both parties have to agree to work things out or it will never work.

At the end of the day, though, there is no more effective way to deal with rebuilding a relationship than to work on oneself. One can actually save one's relationship alone by changing oneself. Unless you change yourself you will always meet the same stumbling blocks over and over again with the same partner, or even with different ones.

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Author's Bio: 

This article is one of the breakup series I write. Please check my author page for more articles on the subejct or join me in my ex-back support group and relationship forum for more tips on how to deal with your breakup and how to get yourself on the path of getting your love and your life back. Please also follow me on facebook: for my daily nuggets of reflections/insights/advice and tips on attracting and maintaining a lasting relationship and fixing a broken one.

Katarina Phang is an author, love/life coach specializing on reuniting couples and curing troubled relationship. She founded a free ex-back support group and relationship forum