Yes! It is totally unfair…everybody tells you so. It is insane. It wasn’t your fault and you can’t understand why this is happening to you. Either someone talked to you badly or you were a victim of fraud, either a minor or major problem, the result is always the same: you feel angry!

Our anger, no matter how hard we try to control it, is there. How many times have you seen someone and feel uncomfortable about his sitting next to you or get upset with his rude manner? How many times have you talked on the phone realizing that your interlocutor is simmering with anger?

Having been molested as a child, I had a lot of anger inside which, since I was young, I tried to find ways to relieve. As I grew older and after some research I’ve learnt that every time you get angry and not take it out, part of it remains inside you and works as an anchor. The angrier you feel, the bigger the anchor you create, thus limiting your development as a person.
Research has proved that diseases, such as depression and weight gaining are related to anger. And of course you are familiar with that ‘wonderful’ feeling you get in your throat, on your back or stomach when you get angry.

That’s all very well said but how can you face anger?

Grab the pillow. Yes, you read right! Grab a pillow and start hitting. My clients love hitting the couch or the pillow on the floor. Play some music loud (preferably rock or metal) and hit for 3 minutes. Take some deep breath and repeat. In the end inhale deeply 10 times. You will instantly feel a lot better.

Talk to the…chair. The biggest part of our anger is towards other people. Put a chair facing you and pretend that the person who got you angry sits on it. Talk out loud and say that you want to say. Attention! Do not talk to yourself! The dynamic of actually listening to your voice is very different. Also, in our mind we may deform or inflate the truth. Once the words come out of our mouth, we realize what is actually true.

Embrace the anger. When I was first taught Sedona Method by Hale Dowskin, who began by telling us that one way to leave anger behind is to ‘embrace’ it, I thought it was really strange. The results, however, are really impressive.

It has been found, in labs, that even animals relieve their anger! It not a sign of civility to ‘swallow’ things that make you angry as you will have to face them one day. And yes, ugly and negative things will always happen to you as it is to everybody.

Finally, rage results in pain and the more you keep inside the more negativity and pain you will attract. I urge you to practice one of the previous exercises everyday and for the next 5 days. Set now a time for the following 5 days, adjust your mobile to the silent mode and inform everyone else in the house that you need 10 minutes to yourself. Let anger go, feel instantly its positive impacts and pull back the anchor. You deserve to live a life free of anger and only you can control it!

Be Unique!
Jill Douka

Author's Bio: 

“Jill Douka supports people to take action, feel secure and get the greatest value from their future. She is a coach, workshop leader and author, lives in Athens, Greece, next to the sea, working with clients from 3 continents. She is the founder of”