Quit Trying To Be Perfect

In our drive for the good life, it seems that we have become obsessed with the need to be “perfect”!

Why can’t we just let our selves be who we are at the moment?

As human beings we are constantly changing and evolving as our life changes. We cannot stop this process no matter how hard we try. We do not need to be obsessive about it!

We raise our children to always want to be the best of the best. If they do not reach for the top and become superstars, we treat them like they are losers.

When we decide what our children will excel at, in their infancy, do we learn about the person inside of this child first or do we just choose what they will be great at based on our own selfish needs?

How many moms are obsessed with their daughters being Olympic figure skaters or dancers? How many men base their whole happiness on their son being the great ball player?

What is so wrong with letting a child discover for themselves what inspires them?

Admittedly, a child will need assistance and room for exploration in determining what they would like to do with their lives. A child will likely go through a long transition being fascinated with anything from playing ball, to playing piano to just hanging out with his buds. This is an important process that helps children develop healthy self esteem. With the right encouragement things will always work out. You just have to trust the process.

Depriving a child of the right to explore his own world can cause a sense of worthlessness and lack of confidence. I doubt there is a parent in the whole world that would want their child to feel less than great about themselves. And yet, it happens on a regular basis in almost every society.

So many of the problems we deal with in this world can be pinned to this unnatural desire for parents to try to mold their children into something they may not want to be.

Children have the ability to think for themselves. However, as long as they are young and impressionable they need guidance from their parents to shape their view of the world. A safe, protected, healthy, open world is the key to healthy minded children.

Children are programmed to want to please their parents. They want attention. Their preference is always to do good first to get this attention. When that doesn’t work, bad behaviour will have to do.

Children do not have the capacity to understand why they act the way they do. They only know that they want safety, love and attention. They will act in whatever manner they need to in order to have these needs met. At the same time they inherently need to explore their world.

It seems that we live in an extreme world, a world of black and white, no gray. We seem to believe that a child must be the greatest they can be or the child sits at home and learns about life through television or computer games. Neither of these choices are particularly healthy for the child or the rest of the family. It’s no wonder we have so much violence in this world!

Human beings are not designed to be extreme at anything. We are designed to be flexible. We need to relax and let our mind and bodies flow with the life that courses through our veins. We need to learn to listen to the inspirations that talk to us and we need to be able to choose and express the ones that seem to fit for us.

When we cannot express the inner motivations that knock on the door of our mind, we are opening the door for unhealthy living, illness, poverty, obsessive behaviour and virtually any disease you want to name.

The greatest power a person can ever have is to know himself and to express that knowledge in a passionate and purposeful manner. Living in the flow of life, his own life. When a person knows themselves, they will always choose on the side of good. It is our nature. They will do far better at what they choose to do rather than that which they are forced to do.

Taking the time to get to know your child takes courage and self awareness on the part of you, the parent. It is not something that can be done overnight. It is a process that will take all of your lives. They likely will astound you often once you get to know them.

What greater love can you express than to give your child the space, protection and support to discover for themselves what they are best suited for in this life?

You never know, they might become a great ball player or musician! Most important, they will be very loving and happy people.

Namaste

Monty
www.montyritchings.com