Questions & Answers on Feng Shui for Romantic Relationships

The Red Lotus Letter website attracts more visitors all the time. What are they looking for mostly? Two things: money and romance. It's interesting that romance is tied for the top spot. It shows how important love and romance are to people -- as much and sometimes more -- important than money.

Loving relationships are also working relationships.
That means you've got to make an effort. You made an effort to get into your relationship, so why stop because you got married or moved in together? Remember, that love isn't just a feeling, it's an action.
So, take some steps toward building on what you've got. Here are some of the most popular questions we've received about love and keeping relationships revitalized.

Our bedroom décor is OK. Should we really redecorate our bedroom?
When it comes to food, we eat with our eyes first. Attractive food, with its good blend of colors and textures is appealing, and why that little sprig of parsley does so much. Well, we also make love with our eyes first. It's why many couples feel like they have to go away to be romantically inspired: their environment simply isn't appealing. Because if the only time you are getting romantically interested is when you can arrange a trip out of town, then that is way too much time spent apart.

Environment plays a crucial role in romance.
I mean, really, how romantic is a bedroom with a treadmill, the dog's bed, and mismatched curtains? Every couple's bedroom is important and deserves attention. Make it attractive to both you and your honey. Have you ever noticed how good spring cleaning makes you feel or how good you feel when you rearrange the furniture? Well, that's because you are moving energy around that may have been stagnant. A stagnant relationship can also be a sign of a stagnant bedroom. You can actually reinvigorate your relationship by thoroughly cleaning, redecorating or arranging your bedroom.

Our kids have really nice bedrooms, but we haven't spent the time or money on ours because it seems like the whole family is always in our room. Is there something we can do about this?
Yes, use your living or family room. You don't have a bedroom because where you sleep is the family room. I love kids. Don't get me wrong. But kids are only renters. Remember, you aren't there because they are, they're there because YOU are.

This is Rule No. 1: You and your spouse come first. That means your bedroom should also be a KFZ (Kid-free Zone) or haven away from the kids. That means no toys, no pictures of kids, and certainly no kids in your room (unless you've invited them of course). This is your space.

We often mistakenly believe that we have to let our kids into every nook and cranny of our life and be totally absorbed in them to be good parents. I disagree. We aren't in the kids rooms. Why should they be in ours? If you want romance, take the building blocks, stuffed animals, and the how-to-use-the-toilet book with the flushing sounds out of your bedroom and create a space that's yours and your sweetie's alone. :)

What can I do if I suspect my spouse is unhappy with our relationship?
You need to bolster your relationship any way you can. Here are some thoughts:

Add a vase to make your relationship happier. Place a jar or vase in the bedroom. It should be ceramic and beautiful to you. Vases can help smooth relationships by collecting good energy.

Display the double happiness sign. This sign can be purchased at Chinese or import stores as a wall hanging or as a frame. If it's not possible to fine a double happiness symbol, find some items that are red and gold and put those in your bedroom.

Hang a crystal in a window. Rainbows of light cast by the sun hitting a crystal can cleanse a room of negative energy. These are nice to have in rooms throughout the house. To see the beautiful colors dancing on the wall is to infuse the house with positive energy.

Use crystal power under the bed. Place a smooth, round crystal ball at the foot of the bed to make relationships smoother. You can place one of these under the foot of every bed in the house to make all the relationships happier.

My wife and I are always arguing about money. Is there something we can do in our bedroom to help our money situation?

Add amethyst power. Pour rice into a beautiful bowl and add amethyst crystals. Place this bowl under the bed. The crystals can be purchased at nature stores in many malls or at gem shows or stores.

Does it really matter which side of the bed we sleep on?
Yes. The woman should sleep on the right side (as you lie in bed), and the man should sleep on the left. When a woman sleeps on the woman's side, she has too much yin energy. This can make a woman lethargic, unmotivated, even depressed. Worse still, it can compound feminine illnesses such as breast and uterine cancer. A man in the wrong position will suffer from too much yang -- which can cause high blood pressure, anger and heart problems. Sleeping in the correct position balances your energies. And singles -- you still need to sleep in the correct position too! :)

Do you have any romance inspiring ideas that are also good feng shui?
You bet I do! You can purchase crystals for your bedroom, some of which I have talked about above. You can also purchase a rose quartz crystal to display in your bedroom next to a picture of you and your love. (I should be getting some of these in the boutique very shortly.) Here are more ideas:
• Buy in pairs. Give your love a "pair" of something, whether that is earrings, a pair of monogrammed bathrobes, or a pair of lovebird figurines for your room. If you want to be practical, purchase a pair of lamps for either side of your bed.
• Go pink. Pink roses are more sentimental and sweet than red roses. In fact, some think red roses can actually cause a relationship to end. If your love doesn't like pink, select yellow or lavender roses. Also, be certain that the thorns are removed from the stems.
• Get dim. Purchase a dimmer switch for your bedroom. For $5 you can have all kinds of mood lighting!
• Frame your love. Buy a beautiful picture frame and put a picture of the two of you in it. Maybe even select a picture and have it enlarged as an extra nice touch.