Any woman engaged in an affair with a married man knows deep down that regardless of how much she hopes for a committed future with him, she is doomed to be at the mercy of his marriage until he makes a choice.

Surprisingly or not, the vast majority of those I conduct psychic readings for are struggling with the same painful situation. How they arrived at such a difficult place in their lives really doesn’t matter. What they do once they find themselves engulfed in such affairs is what’s most important.

If you are one of them, I know the essence of your heart from the countless number of psychic readings I have conducted for those who have walked this walk before you. While others may harshly judge you for allowing yourself to get involved with a married man in the first place, I never will.

I see my work in guiding others through the Personal Prophesy psychic readings my grandmother taught me to conduct so many years ago to be a much higher purpose than that.

After all, if we each lived perfect lives from start to finish, we wouldn’t need guidance from anyone – psychic or otherwise. What we need when we’re traveling a rough and rocky road is compassion, understanding. Someone to turn to who will be there to help, advise, comfort.

That is how I see my role when I’m conducting psychic readings with my cards focused on extra-marital relationships.

Psychic insights on an affair with a married man

If you feel you are living in your own private universe where the extreme ups and downs attached to this extra-marital relationship are concerned – others can’t understand it, you can’t understand it yourself – don’t despair. You are not alone. Your situation is far more typical among women – single and those who are also married – than you might imagine.

The problem as I perceive it in such unbalanced relationships – he professes to be extremely unhappy but stays married, you love him but he won’t commit to more than your regular clandestine meetings – is that you and the vast numbers of women like you are dealing with men who are essentially “hiding out” in their marriages.

Yes, even though they yearn earnestly to reach out for that Something More: complete, fulfilled, happy lives to live for themselves in the future with another woman.

These men are, psychically speaking, living dual lives in the present.
One life involves marriage and children. They feel obligated out of a deep sense of personal duty to try their best to remain in these unsatisfying marriages, despite how unhappy they are.

The other life involves a woman – you - who truly loves him with her heart, her soul, every fiber of her being – offering a new way of life to such a man to celebrate and enjoy endlessly into the future.

From my experience, a large number of men who carry on secretly for the long term in deeply romantic relationships with one special woman outside of marriage actually mean the promises they make: “We will be together one day,” “I will leave her, I don’t love her anymore,” etc.

The trouble is they simply aren’t ready to take that step toward a new course to follow for the future within your own urgent timeframe. My perception of the cards in such cases is the man in question wants to begin that new course, very badly. However, he can’t seem to find the courage to ultimately let go.

Specifically, the marriage itself.

Rarely do I perceive in cards attached to long term affairs that the men involved still love their wives. On the contrary, they tend to despise their wives to such an extent that they loathe going home or having to be there at all.

Think about it: If a man has a great relationship with the woman he married with nothing missing in the relationship, why would he ever have any interest in an affair – especially a long-term affair? Bottom line, he wouldn’t.

Men in long-term affairs are perceived in psychic readings to characteristically feel little or no emotional attachment to the children borne of that marriage as a result of such loathing toward their wives (even when they profess that the kids are the main reason keeping them tied to the marriage.)

Personal Prophesy card readings will always cut right to the heart of the matter. You’ll know precisely what’s true and what isn’t. Exactly where someone stands in terms of his or her life – and in terms of their feelings toward you. Their wants, needs and desires…it’s all there to be perceived in a Personal Prophesy reading.

My perception over the years while conducting psychic readings of this type has been that these men are extremely fearful of trying to extricate themselves from their marriages essentially due to financial and other personal losses, particularly in reference to their reputations with close friends and family members.

And of course retaliation from their wives – not realizing, of course, that everything in life tends to come with a price tag attached. They, instead, yearn for the new life without any sacrifices involved which is an entirely unrealistic way of thinking on their part.

These are the most obvious obstacles to their own future happiness that these men must come to face and deal with on their own. Sometimes, they just can’t bring themselves to do it. Yes, despite how much they genuinely love that “other woman” in their lives.

As much as I’d love to tell women involved with these married men that it is possible to assist them in coping with these issues they’re struggling with, the cards never fail to indicate they simply can’t do anything to help. This “coming to terms” with the realities of life as it currently exists for their married lovers is perceived to be a significant personal journey only that married man can take in his own way and time.

It can be extremely difficult to have to step back and let him go through his own paces, which may or may not lead to a legal separation followed by divorce.

It’s important for women who are involved in lengthy relationships with married men to realize they are not necessarily on the winning end of such an emotional wager.

And yet, I have to admit from my experience with readings that the majority of men who do engage in lengthy affairs with one woman eventually do become divorced. By it isn’t by their own doing in quite a number of these marriage – it’s the wife who inevitably leaves first.

Most wives are aware on a subconscious level that these husbands have faded in their commitment to marriage and are straying. Even though so many will continue to try to cling to that man out of an intense sense of insecurity, these wives intuitively “know” their marriages aren’t working and from that subconscious level begin to gravitate toward a new future for themselves – even though they aren’t aware of that fact.

Of course, the ones who do discover the affair leave abruptly and get their licks in court to take all they can from that husband who did them wrong by cheating. Others eventually realize they want more for themselves and gather up the children, leaving the marriage for a better life elsewhere.

The problem is it can take so long for this departure from marriage to occur that the “other woman” outgrows her attachment to that married man while waiting for him to become free and generally moves on to stronger, healthier relationships with other available men in the meantime.

Psychic love advice on how to cope in an affair with a married man

* If the affair is making you miserable, end it. Ask him not to contact you again until he’s divorced. He may surprise you and miss you so much that he’ll feel compelled to get a divorce very quickly just to keep you in his life.

* If he won’t leave his wife for you when you ask him to, end the affair. Chances are, he’ll be at your door once he does get divorced. It could take a while for him to get that divorce (probably because his wife divorced him instead) and you might be involved with someone else at that point. Stay with your new relationship, it offers more potential for you in the way of a meaningful commitment in the long run.

* If you continue the affair until his marriage disintegrates, don’t marry him right away. Spend a year living with him to ensure that he hasn’t brought baggage from the marriage into your relationship once he is free. Once you’ve got him, you might find out that he wasn’t such a “prize” after all.

Relationships with married men?

Yes, they can develop into beautiful long-term commitments once those marriages end. But you’ve got to be cautious and careful. It's important that you gain as much insight as possible to help you choose the right path for you to take - with him or without him - for the future.

Author's Bio: 

Deborah Leigh is the Official Guide to New Age on The author of “The Message: Your Secrets in the Cards”, Deborah is also a member of the faculty for the University of Metaphysical Sciences in Arcata, California. She offers instruction and life coaching from her website Psychic Love Doctor.