I don’t know how many years I went through life deep down just wanting people to like me. Can you relate?

As a kid, I had friends, but never felt that I was anyone’s “best friend”. I longed to be the person who got that first phone call or had people knocking at my door on the way to places. I wanted to be the one asked when a parent allowed one of my friends to have just one person over for a sleep over.

As I grew older, the theme continued. I’d do almost anything to have you like me. I think it’s known as people pleasing. And if you didn’t, I could be vicious. To cut someone down to make me feel better certainly happened.

Why did this happen? What was missing?


Most of us want to be liked. We want other people to think of us as nice, friendly, kind, and loving. Most of us want the approval of others.

Since childhood, some of us have been trying to get approval, trying to get people to like us and think highly of us. We may be afraid people will leave us if they disapprove of our actions. We may look for approval from people who have none to give. We may not know that we're lovable now and can learn to approve of ourselves.

In order to live happily, to live consistently with the way our Higher Power want us to live, and to tap into a way of life that is in harmony with the universe, we need to let go of our extreme need for approval. These unmet needs for approval and love from our past give others control over us today. These needs can prevent us from acting in our best interest and being true to ourselves.

We can approve of ourselves. In the end, that's the only approval that counts.

It was hard work to finally win my own self- approval and become my own best friend. It was done with the help of others, not something I was capable of doing on my own, and it involved a real change process. If I can help you find the path, please contact me through my web site,

Author's Bio: 

Keith Bray Certified Addiction and Life Coach coaching client success by phone. Addiction help, results guaranteed.