Pastor’s Wives- Going Through Without Wavering

A glimpse at the splendor and respect attached to the office of a pastor can lure any woman toward becoming the wife of a pastor. Surely, most women would embrace the thought in the belief that such relationships, being founded on the solid rock of Christian religion, are bound to stand the test of time. However, there are more to being a pastor’s wife than meets the eye; and the truth is that for most of them, the center fails to hold in the long haul.

Statistics have proven the fact that the rate of divorce between pastors and their wives is no different from that for the public society. There are personal issues that trigger such ugly situation; but a prominent one pointed out by Dorothy Pentecost in her book, The Pastor’s Wife and The Church (1964), was that it was necessary for the pastor’s wife to be called by God to occupy such position if she must fulfill the role, rather than just loving her husband. In addition,

Rachel Lovingood and Jennifer Landrith, in their book, In Our Shoes: Real Life Issues for Minister’s Wife by Minister’s Wives, took it from another dimension by saying the challenge lies in the fact that most pastor’s wives were either not raised in the church or may have been married from another denomination; and in so doing, may not be in the know of what is expected of them.

This is so because the wives of pastors do not lead the ordinary day live of the ‘uncalled’ Kay Warren, who is the co-founder of Saddleback church with Rick Warren her husband, reiterated this fact when she said she has no idea what ‘normal’ life is like. Pastor’s wives are faced with enormous challenges. Jealousy, loneliness and dispute between church members and herself are some of such challenges, as pointed out by Francis Nodland in her book, Unprivate Life of a Pastor’s Wife, in 1972.

Although the role of a pastor’s wife is not clearly spelt out, in the light of Ruthe White who said it was more of a no-pay full time job in her husband’s vineyard with an undefined role (1981), Donna Sinclair goes solo to trumpet the fact that being a pastor’s wife comes with choices (The Pastor’s Wife Today). The pastor’s wife can decide to remain the helpmeet for her husband in the background or actively pursue her career in the secular environment. However, no matter what the case may be it is important that pastor’s wives remain true to themselves and stick to who God made them to be, since there is no definite pattern they need to fit into, according to Rachel Lovingood and Jennifer Landrith in their book, In Our Shoes: Real Life Issues for Minister’s Wives by Minister’s Wives.

Rather than getting in the rut as a pastor’s wife and ultimately give up on the call and marriage due to too many sticks, several avenues exist from whence the pastor’s wife can find solace and peace amid storms.
Global Pastor’s Wives Network (,,,,, and are just few places that do not lack water for the thirsty. In addition, attending the yearly GPWN EMPOWER program is an experience no pastor’s wife would want to miss. It is the only program thus far where everyone is designated a VIP and also treated as such.

Pastors and their wives live in a fishbowl. The life of a pastor’s wife is one filled with tears and joys as she tries to muscle through taking care of her home and being there for her husband. However, when in the company of others the whole atmosphere becomes positive and empowering. But surely, there is always bread for the hungry and water for the thirsty wayfarer who decides to abide within the flock.

Author's Bio: 

Award-Winning Author of both the USA Book Awards and the International Book Awards. LaVerne enjoys arts and crafts and look forward to a year full of travel and acting.