A past relationship break up that was not amicable and which still lingers in the memory can be painful. It may destroy self-esteem and confidence of the affected partner. You should move on if the relationship didn't work out with your ex.

The vast majority of people who have experienced break ups want to forget and move on. But all too often, the ghosts of past relationships come back to haunt them and end up destroying the new relationships that they're trying to form. An ugly break up can lead to deep soul-searching whereas in reality the cause may lay elsewhere. Although one partner may have feelings of guilt, it could turn out that it's not his or her fault.

The effects of the aftermath of any break ups depend largely on how serious the relationships were. The more in love you were, the more pain you'll experience as a result of the relationship break up. One of the most painful causes of relationship break ups is when one of the partners is unfaithful. Not only can this cause real pain, but it can shatter self-confidence and self-esteem too.

The memories of the good times you shared with your partner can be almost impossible to forget. It can seem that everything you look at sparks of some sort of painful remembrance of the good times you had with your ex. When this happens, it can be very damaging since you'll be still remorseful for having broken with your partner.

What's the Way Forward After Break Up?

First, you must understand the fact that it will take you time to heal your broken heart. In fact, some people never seem to fully recover from a break up. But think about this; think of your existence as a vast pot of feelings. Part of what is in that pot is the remorse you feel for your lost love. Part of what is in the same pot is also a memory of the great times that you shared with your partner, the good memories of the time you had together. In another part of the pot is the pain you still feel as a result of the relationship break up. Having split and compartmentalized these feelings and emotions, you can then think about dealing with each one individually as a tangible element.

The thing you now want to try and actually do it is to let remorseful feelings leak out of the pot until there is nothing left. Actually allow yourself to re-experience each feeling and emotion again and again. The more you revisit them, the less intense they'll become, until in the end, your pot is devoid of any negative thought. It is like allowing the passage of time to heal your wounds completely. It is not quick and it is not without pain. However, it is a sure way of learning to deal with your relationship break up pain until it is no more there.

It is of course all too tempting to avoid revisiting the past in this way. Why stir up all those old painful emotions? But the fact of the matter is that if you bury them, they'll never, ever go away. They'll always be there, just lurking below the surface and waiting to erupt and devastate you once again. By allowing yourself to express your feelings and emotions time and time again, then you're letting your pain away. Remember that it does take time to heal your broken heart. Restore your confidence and self-esteem by dealing with your relationship break up.

Author's Bio: 

For more information, visit our website where we take you through on how to go about getting over a break up, download your free report today. The author of this article is Joshua Nyamache and together with other staff members they are working on Nikenya website, a website that you connect with friends and read articles that contain useful information geared towards the attainment of self-improvement.