In general, someone could find it hard to get things done and they could spend a lot of time sitting around. When they do take action, it could typically be because they feel that they have to.

For example, this could show that they have to go to work or have run out of food. Behind actions such as these will be their need to survive, and this is why they will be able to get themselves moving.

Called Out

Other than this, they could get themselves moving if a friend or a family member was to reach out to them and asked them to join them. If they do go out, it probably won’t be coming from their need to survive.

Even so, as with the previous example, they won’t be the ones who have felt a strong need to do something and have chosen to take action. Something externally will have got the ball rolling, so to speak, and then they will have taken the next step.

The Exception

In a way, it will be as though they are an appliance that doesn’t have a power source of their own or only a very weak one. When it comes to their job or another person asks them to go out, then, they will receive a burst of energy or their willpower will kick in.

But, other than that, they will seldom have the power or the will that they need to initiate something. To say that they live a reactive as opposed to an active life will be an accurate assessment or perhaps even an understatement.

A Mismatch

If their job is anything but fulfilling, they are unlikely to have the oomph that they need to find one that is. There is also the chance that they won’t always consume the nutrients that they need either, due to lacking the urge to buy additional items or to make nourishing meals.

When it comes to the people in their life, they could often spend time with people who are not right for them. Some of these people might be abusive but even if they are not, they could be controlling and overbearing.

One Scenario

So, when they are around their friends, they could often do things that they would rather not do. Instead of speaking up and making this clear, they could tolerate just about whatever happens to them.

Most of the people in their life can then be leaders and they will be a follower that goes wherever they are led. What is clear is that living in this way is going to be anything but fulfilling.

Emotional Experience

When it comes to how they feel, they could often feel down and depressed. If they don’t feel this way, they could feel hopeless and helpless.

Moreover, it could be a challenge for them to get out of bed each day and falling asleep at night could also be incredibly difficult. They might seldom get angry but they could often feel deeply frustrated.

Watching Life Go By

Ultimately, they are not going to feel as though they have much control over their life; their life can be seen as something that they simply have to endure, not enjoy. Thanks to this, they could often think about ending their life.

They could often be told that they need to get moving and start taking action but this might not have much of an impact on them. In fact, this could just cause them to lay into themselves and to feel even worse.

Stepping Back

If they were able to mentally detach from their experience, they could wonder why they are this way. It could be as if they lack something that other people have and they will always be this way.

If they have been this way for as long as they can remember, they may believe that they were born this way. Therefore, not having much energy or the desire to do much will be something that they have to put up with.

What’s going on?

However, while they may believe that they were born this way, there is a strong chance that there is more to it. The reason why they don’t appear to have their own fuel source and lack oomph can be a consequence of what took place during their developmental years.

This may have been a time when they were often neglected and thus, were deprived of the nutrients that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. From the moment they were born, they may have often been left and when they were given attention, it might have largely been misattuned care.

A Brutal Time

As they were powerless and totally dependent at this stage of their life, they wouldn’t have been able to do anything about what was going on. They would have felt hopeless and helpless, among other things, and they were hopeless and helpless.

To handle the pain that they were in throughout this period of their life, their brain would have automatically repressed how they felt and they would have gone into a shut down, collapsed, frozen and disconnected state. Their parasympathetic nervous system would have been activated and it will have continued to be activated.

Frozen In Time

Many, many years will have passed since this stage of their life but a big part of their being won’t have moved on. To this part of them, expressing themselves and trying to fulfil their needs will be futile.

Their early environment won’t have been responsive to them and they will continue to perceive their current environment in the same way. When they were an infant, toddler and perhaps a child, giving up and not trying would have stopped them from suffering even more but now it won’t be serving them.


As a result of what they went through, they are likely to be carrying a lot of pain and arousal. This is what will be weighing their nervous system down and making it hard for them to activate the other side of their nervous system, their sympathetic nervous system, that will get them moving.

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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