“I can’t get a decent job because I didn’t go to college.”

“I can’t make friends because I’m shy.”

“I can’t join the organization I want because I have to make a speech.”

“I can’t play a sport because I’m overweight.”

“I don’t want to be president of the club because I don’t know how to lead during meetings.”

Do these things sound all too familiar to you that they’ve become an innate part of your speech and the way you think?

Have you noticed that too often we don’t hold an honest and exact opinion of ourselves? We think that we’re less capable than we really are. When a task or challenge is thrown our way, we cringe at the thought of undertaking it.

What could be the reasons behind this belief system comprised of a lot of self-limiting doubts? I’ll list a few:

-Some of us have experienced too many failures in life, like in the areas of academics, sports, or friendships.
-As children, many adults with low self-esteem had been “victimized” by a domineering figure.
-Those with obvious handicaps and physical disadvantages might have been the object of severe ridicule. They might have experienced being ostracized by other people.
-Genuinely talented or gifted individuals might have judged themselves against the wrong standards.

Will you pause with me for a moment? Whatever our fears and doubts are, why are we allowing ourselves to be debilitated by these hindrances? A life working around a belief system of “I can’ts” and “I won’ts” will not allow us to experience freedom and personal happiness.

Fulfilled, happy people are not afraid to take risks. Lest I be misunderstood, our personal happiness is not necessarily a result of freedom from fear. To deny that we fear doing something is not healthy. Rather, risk takers feel their fear, but they go ahead and do what they’re afraid of anyway. Courage is the key to overcoming our self-limiting beliefs. Doubts, like fears, are educated within us, and, if we want to, they could be educated out. How? By doing the following:

-Let’s quit calling ourselves names like “stupid,” “ditzy,” or “lame.”
-Whenever we catch ourselves saying derogatory remarks about us, let’s PAUSE, and then finally, let’s STOP.
-Let’s quit putting ourselves down and stop doubting our capabilities.
-Let’s form an honest opinion of ourselves. We must come to terms with the fact that we have both strengths and weaknesses.

It is our personal responsibility to regain our freedom from the doubts we’ve formed within us. Let’s work on understanding and minimizing our fears, and find the path to happiness.

Author's Bio: 

Ronali G. dela Cruz, being afflicted with a condition called manic-depressive disorder, has, at one point in her life, doubted her capabilities. But she has regained her confidence and strength, owing it to the supportive people in her life.