Overcoming Grief

Grief is a part of human life, we all experience it during our time on earth. We generally tend to experience grief during a time of loss. Grief can consume us to an extend that getting through the day can be very challenging!
Although there might not be any getting away from grief itself, there is always the opportunity to change your perspective on grief.

So, here are some simple insights on overcoming grief:

- Acceptance – accept what has happened! As challenging as it may seem to do, please come to full acceptance with the event or circumstance which is causing you to grieve! For example, when a relationship ends, people resist the event, and it makes it harder for them to come to acceptance! If you keep fighting the feeling of loss, you will make the effects of grief get the better of you. Please remember that acceptance leads to empowerment!

- Seek an outlet – please find a way to express your grief! By allowing your grief to bottle up inside you, you will create more grief in your life. Cry if you have to, talk to others, take a break from things. If you wish to sit alone for hours, then do it. Whatever allows you to release the energy which is created by grief, just do it. You will feel lighter on the inside, and it will be easier for you to move forward.

- Have a support group – share your grief with others, even if you do not normally show your emotions to others. During times of grief, it pays to see yourself from a different perspective. Even if you only have one person in your life that you wish to share your grief with, that is still better than keeping it all to yourself (or inside yourself). So, reach out to people, and share your grief with them. Let their support sooth you. When people voluntarily reach out to you, accept and appreciate their support. Every bit of support will help ease the grief!

- Look for a way forward – In the process of grieving, look for something to make you move on. Look for reasons to move on. When my beloved dog passed away recently, I looked for ways to look forward in life, and move on with life! I asked myself what I could do to move on, and look forward. I got a puppy when I was ready to do so. The love and care that I gave to my late dog, I am giving the same love and care to my new puppy! No event can hold you back from moving forward in life if you let the memories carry you forward!

- Be grateful for what you had– shift the focus on gratitude, and be grateful for what you had (if you are grieving over a loss). As I mentioned earlier, let the memories carry you forward. By being grateful, you will turn the grief into something of a more positive nature. Make a list of all that you have to be grateful for, regarding what you are grieving over. About two years ago, one of my Life Coaching clients had separated from his partner, and there was an outpouring of grief from him. I asked him to make a list of fifty things that he was grateful for regarding his previous partner. When he compiled the list, it gave him a very insightful perspective of her! Gone were the anger, resentment, and bitterness that he was initially showing towards her. He was now in a position to beam love and gratitude towards her. Now, that is surely very empowering!

- Thank your value systems - what you grieve over gives you a clear indication of your value systems. Allow the grief to align you even more with your value systems. For example, if you are grieving over the loss of a job where you were very passionate about what you were doing, it clearly indicates to you that your value systems include passion (or being passionate). Thank yourself for having such value systems, and feel aligned with them even more! If you were not aligned with your value systems, then you would not be grieving (over the loss of your job where you showed so much passion). Now use the same value systems to drive your forward! In this case, use your passion to look for another job where you would be able to express passion just as you did in your previous role!

- Gain strength and wisdom – every time you grieve over something, you are gaining an experience. Allow this experience to strengthen you! Ask yourself simple questions such as “How will this experience give me strength and wisdom to serve me in the future?” Life is full of learning. Ask yourself more questions such as “What have I learnt through this experience?” or “What more have I learnt about myself through this experience?” Use that experience to make you empower yourself so that when you experience grief again in the future, you will be better equipped to handle the grief!

To sum up, please always remember that grief is a great teacher, and it can empower you! Grief is not an obstacle if you do not allow it to be! No obstacle ever is bigger or stronger than you are! So, the next time that you are facing an obstacle, please remind yourself “I am stronger and wiser than this obstacle. Hence I will get over it!”

Please absorb the words in this quote by Kahlil Gibran: “When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

I sincerely hope that you have gained a few simple insights on overcoming grief!

Inspiring you to achieve more,
Ron Prasad (Author, Speaker, Life Coach & Executive Coach)

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