We all have a story to tell, no matter who we are or where we’re from; a story that reminds us of a past that can never be forgotten. This is a story can define one’s life; one that contains the potential to create a life that is a reaction to the story or a life inspired and motivated by it.

Our story

So what exactly is our story? To me our story is a direct consequence of our early years and yet it is also being created with each and every moment of our life, with each breath that we take.

This is a combination of how we were treated and how we perceived ourselves as result. It also includes the feelings, thoughts and emotions that this caused and the behaviours that were created. What we believe we are capable off and what we can expect from life.

Each of these different factors forms our identity or self image. And the story keeps these alive through the inner and outer repetition of the experiences that we have.

A Gift Or A Curse?

We can see that our story has a profound effect on our life; it can quite easily set us up for life. This might be a story that one is happy with, a story that is meaningful and fulfilling. The challenge is when this is a story that is not fulfilling or meaningful, a story that causes frustration, disempowerment amd despair.

And if this is a story that does one no favours; does it have define ones whole life or is it something can be transmuted and over come?

Our ego

The interesting thing here is that the ego mind allows one to have an individual story; a story that is unique and has its own meaning. This allows one to have their own purpose, a purpose that will coincide and connect with others, but is nevertheless unique to them.

When the ego mind is mature and developed, it becomes a functional tool or conduit for the higher self to express its deepest longings. These may take the form of gifts, longings of the heart and passions that never disappear.

These can be ignored or repressed, but they are never truly removed; they can’t be, for there innate parts of us.

The Other Side

It is then clear that our ego is there for a reason, however there is another side to the ego and side that is all too familiar.

This is the undeveloped ego, the ego that has been described as the neurotic or primitive ego. As far as I know the ego operates on what is safe and what is safe, is what is familiar. This means that the ego will hold onto what it knows and what it has experienced, as this is familiar and therefore safe.

So how does this relate to our story? What this means is that our ego mind will hold onto a story no matter how functional or dysfunctional it is. This is because it is perceived as familiar and therefore safe.

Who Am I?

The undeveloped ego mind fears letting go and is fuelled or exists through fear. If it only knows itself in regards to what is familiar then it is clear to see that it has no real identity of its own. The only identity it has is based on the past; forming its identity out of ideas and perceptions.

So if it only knows itself through the past and what is familiar it makes complete sense as to why it holds on and fears letting go. As to the ego mind this would feel like loss of itself and therefore death. When in reality all that is happening is the ego is being matured and developed, becoming an assistant to the self instead of taking complete control and causing endless pain and suffering.


In order to embrace and operate from the self our story needs to be acknowledged and heard. To deny or ignore our story will only create a struggle with the ego mind and this is a battle that can never be won.

It is not important whether this story is seen as the inner child or just as the past. What is important is that it is healed and presence/awareness is allowed to enter.

Pure Awareness

The self appears and comes into play through awareness or pure awareness. This usually comes about through the gradual and persistent observing of the mind which leads to the healing of the past, not getting caught in the movements of the mind only watching.


Upon the reflection of these different elements above we can concur that it is actually possible to move out of our story and that our story is not who we are or what we are capable of.

And that our story is ultimately just a consequence of the undeveloped and conditioned mind, which holds onto the past because it fears losing itself.

A New Story

The past can be used as a catalyst and perhaps the past is relevant to our purpose in life. That each situation and experience we have is what will lead to the realising of our greatest fulfilment. And that each choice one makes or doesn’t make will lead one closer or further away from this actuality.

A New Beginning

The potential this creates is for a new story to be created in each moment. And that each story only exists for as long as the mind holds onto it.

Our story might forever remain in our memory; however it doesn’t have to have the same controlling and limiting effect that is once had. It can be used as a point of reference and something that can inspire one to realise their true self; a gift and not a curse.

An Individual Choice

This is of course something to consider and ponder, and if it’s something that doesn’t ring true for you it can at least lead to further questions and potentially a path that is true for you.

Author's Bio: 

My name is Oliver J R Cooper and I have been on a journey of self awareness for over nine years and for many years prior to that I had a natural curiosity.

For over two years, I have been writing articles. These cover psychology and communication. This has also lead to poetry.

One of my intentions is to be a catalyst to others, as other people have been and continue to be to me. As well as writing articles and creating poetry, I also offer personal coaching. To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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