One Big Part of Attraction That Many People Screw Up

One part of attraction is sharing similarities in interests, beliefs, and values. A lot of time we can tell if we are similar in these things by the type of conversation we have or the activity that we are doing at the moment. For example, if your love interest is at your church then you have a pretty good idea of what religion the other person is and how similar you are in your beliefs. But sometimes we judge how similar we are by how we talk and the words we use to describe things.

Words are words right? Wrong. Whether you say Tomato or Tomatoe may greatly affect the way someone views you and your compatibility with them. Everyone has their own way of speaking that they have learned from the people who surround them like their family and friends. This way of speaking is comfortable and sometimes 'the right' way of speaking in their view. If you do not word things probably (according to them) they may not be attracted to you because you are so different from them.

Ego and status have a lot to do with wording. For instance if you are talking to someone about their job and they refer to themselves as a waste collector, and you continue the conversation by asking them whether being a garbage man is a fulfilling job or not - you may offend them. The very fact that they refer to themselves as a waste collector means that term is the term they prefer. When you call them a garbage man they may get offended and think you view them lower than they view themselves, or don't understand what they are actually saying to you.

What you should do in a conversation is use the same words they do. So if they talk about their waste collecting job then you should ask them what a waste collector does on a daily basis, and leave the garbage man out of it. This will ensure that they feel as though you view the job the same way they do, and they will feel good about how you responded to them.

Using the wrong words can also make you appear lame or insulting for reasons other than their ego. They may just make you look like you don’t understand what they are talking about and instead you are making their interests or hobbies look stupid.

For instance, if they are a musician and you ask them when their next performance will be you may be risking the way they look at you. Most musicians will talk about their gigs coming up and not their performance. The words pretty much mean the same thing but a gig sounds much better in the musician world, and the word performance is left to stage actors.

You may not know how they use their words in the beginning of the conversation but you can avoid terms that may be offensive to them but not bringing them up until they do. You can also avoid saying the wrong words by listening to them closely and repeating what they say, or by researching the most common words used in their profession, hobby, or other interest.

So don't forget your wording in conversations when trying to create an attraction through similarity and understanding. Mimic the words and terms they use and you will up your chances of creating that attraction.