You only have one Mom. What would SHE like to get as a Mother’s Day gift?

To figure out what Mom would like as a gift, think from your mom's viewpoint. This way you can give her a gift SHE will really enjoy.

Gift giving can be disastrous. How? When a gift giver gives what the gift giver WANTS the receiver to like. Have you ever done that trying to force your tastes on the receiver? When you do that, you are NOT truly giving a gift. Instead, you are trying to force your tastes on others. This can alienate a relationship, and be considered insensitive to the gift receiver.

So, give Mom a gift SHE would like to have. Even if it make no sense to you, it is meaningful to HER. And that is what gift giving is about. Giving a gift meaningful to the receiver.

What if you don’t KNOW what the gift receiver likes? You can be sneaky. Visit the person. Look around her house or retirement home room. What are the things already in her home? This is a sneaky way you can get clues as to what SHE likes.

When you give Mom a gift she likes, you can avoid feeling disappointed she doesn’t like YOUR tastes. Don’t take gift giving personally. Focus on giving something Mom likes and accept that it is okay for her to like things you do not like.

However, also use good sense. If Mom likes to smoke cigarettes, and you know smoking endangers her health, that doesn’t mean you need to support her habit. The same with foods you know are bad for her health. Don’t give her chocolates if she’s a diabetic. Don’t send her flowers if you know she has flower allergies (unless they’re silk flowers which might be acceptable to her.)

So, what does your mom like? Does she like angels, religious statutes, topics? Does she like gardening, cats, dogs, frogs? Is she interested in developing her spiritual or metaphysical skills? Focus on thinking from Mom’s viewpoint so you can create a happy memory with her using the things SHE likes or loves. And, don’t criticize or judge her for her likes that may be different than your own. As long as they are actually harmless, reassure her that you respect her enough to support what she likes.

Is she very social? Does she love visiting with people she loves? If so, she may be a “non-materialistic” type of mom. She may see getting “stuff” is insulting and insensitive. Instead, simply spending time with her loved ones is how she creates a happy memory in her mind. That might be a more priceless gift, an everlasting gift she can take with her into the afterlife.

Even if your Mom has Alzheimer’s or dimentia, spend Mother's Day in a way preferred by her as if she is still aware of your presence when visiting. Spending time with her as if she knows you are there is how you work with her nature.

You can create a happy memory for a mom that likes spending time with loved ones. That means instead of sending flowers or “things” commit to personally spending time with her. Your presence IS the gift!

If you feel uncomfortable visiting with Mom, put that aside just for this Mother’s day. If your mom is aging, you may only have a limited number of Mother’s Days left to spend with her on this earth. Rather than regret spending too much time working or on other times, take the time THIS Mother’s Day to focus on all the things your mom did that helped you become the person you are today.

Sure, it's easy, convenient and simple to spend money on sending a gift. But, if you are geographically close enough, spend time with your Mom. Nobody else is you. No one can ever replace YOU and the time you spend with your Mom.

Bring along a digital recorder on your visit. Ask Mom questions where she can recall happy childhood memories (as appropriate) or stories about the things she did before she became your mom. Ask questions where she recalls funny or happy stories about you and the family when you were a kid.

This is NOT the time to get her to confess about and record all her faults. That will not be a happy memory for you to cause her to feel upset. Now is the time to simply love, respect and appreciate all the sacrifices she made for you.

No one is perfect as a parent. Each mom and dad does the best he or she can do to raise his or her kids without an operator’s manual or training. Creating digitally recorded memories now can be a precious keepsake for you and your children after she is gone.

To create a happy memory recording, do it THIS mother's day. If you procrastinate, it might be a regret for you after she's gone.

As an End-Of-Life Coach having years of experience in palliative care, and helping clients feel comfortable with the end-of-life experience you owe it to your loved ones to create a digitally recorded happy memory gift. Mother’s and Father’s Day is a great time to create this gift with aging parents.

But, this can also be true for your child who may be terminally ill. When a loved one is seriously ill and may only have a short time to live, create a digitally recorded happy memory gift. After your loved one is gone, it often helps the survivors and the child while he or she is still living to create a precious, digitally recorded happy memory gift. In my own case, when my firstborn child was still alive, I was grateful we recorded conversations with him on tape.

It may be controversial to some who do not believe in life after death, but for those who do believe in the afterlife, create a happy memory now. You can create it in the form of a digital recording in your loved one's own voice.

Though this might be an unusual gift for your mother this Mother’s Day, consider creating it. You can receive a lot of comfort creating this happy memory gift or your mom. And she can be comforted knowing you cared enough to do something really special to memorialize the relationship you have with her. You have her voice recorded as a happy keepsake source for after she’s gone to the other side.

If you would like help for your loved one needing comfort before crossing over to the other side, please call and leave a message. In my coaching sessions, we set up simple communication methods for being able to stay connected with your deceased loved ones after they’ve passed over to the other side. Leave me a message and I will call you back as soon as possible.

Susan Fox
Ordained Minister
Universal Life Church
in the US and Canada (740) 531-0400

Author's Bio: 

As a spiritual skills development coach, trainer, and writer, Susan Fox has helped many clients gain peace and understanding about the crossing over experience. Are you looking for comfort for your loved one about the end-of-life experience? Susan Fox can help those open-minded individuals looking for peace, comfort and serenity before crossing over.