Newlyweds Fighting All Time: Marriage Tips For Newlyweds

General consensus from public seems to indicate that newly weds are happy and enjoying their newly formed marriage. However more often than not, this honeymoon period is only temporary for what followed next are challenges involving most couples.

Think Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey.

Although they both seem harmonious and happy, they ended up like many newly weds as their marriage did not last long.

No one - not even their family and friends knows what is really going between them. Worse still, the media makes wild speculations just to boast their ratings since they are seen as celebrities and given special attention.

Though you need to talk and sort things out with your spouse, you still need to seek advice and help if this does not work out. Because if you do not, your marriage and relationship will go downhill. Not only it affects you and your spouse, it affects your children as well if you both are parents.

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Like it or not, it is usually those challenges that test your love for each other over time. What we thinks is best is usually perceived as average or sub-standard by our partners. Unless we forgo our pride and compromise in order to understand, accommodate and meet their needs, the problems remain as problems.

The first few weeks are just the beginning and trial period. It is only after years and even months that they began to see each other's true character especially flaws.

Marriages are never statistic. Either they go up or down. Cultivating relationships to each other is like watering plants. If you do not make any effort, it will wither and die like plants.

With that being said, it takes you and your partner to determine whether your marriage will last for a short while or very long time.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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Literally every couple who came to see me after trying marriage therapy was shocked at how simple it is to have a good marriage. The psychological community really has no business giving marital advice. Their proper domain is diseases of the mind and helping those who have been psychologically crippled. Those who have been traumatized by some event often need the help of a psychologist. But those who are having difficulties with their marriage don't need "marriage therapy."

It's kind of a weird thought, actually. How does one therapize a marriage, anyway? Maybe after a divorce it makes sense to get individual therapy, but that's about it. A bad marriage is not a psychological problem.

The Only Marriage Therapy you Need for a Bad Marriage is called "Education"

Marriage is essentially a spiritual concept of joining two Souls together for the purposes of regulating procreation (for the material life), developing friendship (for the mind) and learning how to love each other unconditionally (for the Soul). If you and your spouse go to conjoint therapy you will learn techniques that will actually pulverize what is left of your bond; such is the devastating power of their bizarre methods.

Education is the key for saving marriages. When couples learn the dynamic construct of marriage and learn the principles that marriage is founded on, they can make it work. Sometimes they may need a little encouragement, but usually fear of failure and the potential of so much joy is incentive enough. The properly understood and well functioning marriage is wonderful and the little effort required to change one's self is small payment for the benefits.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

A Bad Marriage can End Immediately

The difference between a bad marriage and a good marriage is measured by the actions of the couple.

When you wish to have a good marriage, all it takes is cessation of bad words, thoughts and deeds. It is so simple! If you ignore the convoluted explanations by those who give so called marriage therapy you will be fine (when you know what to say, think and do).

Imagine that one moment you are standing on a cliff freaking out because you are so close to the edge. But then you look out and see the beautiful ocean and painted sky. Just like that your fear and despair turned to joy. It is the same with your marriage. You need to change your perspective and expectations from failure and fear to success; it is completely up to you!

Test what I am saying. Watch your mind for a few seconds. Listen to the feelings of fear as if they are not yours per say, but your mind's. Step back and tell your mind it's OK and everything will be fine. Did you notice that you just sighed? You have far more control than you think. You just need to learn what you need to control and how to control it. You need to learn what makes you happy and how to do it. You need to learn how to treat your spouse and how to open your heart.

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Its very natural that you are here to get free relationship advice on how to be a great wife or just to improve your relationship with your husband. And I would love to say that you have come to the right place, my friend.

Here, I will tell you what man wants in a relationship and what you can do to make yours a long lasting relationship. And for that, you are expected to bring a few changes in your overall behavior.

1. First get to know what kind of a person you are

To expect anything from your husband, first try to know yourself- what you are, what you can give in your relationship n what you cannot. Because you cannot expect from him those things that you yourself cannot do for him. For instance, if you cannot withstand him having a relationship with any other woman outside your marriage, then how can you dare to expect that he will allow you to make male friends after marriage? Its well said:

Treat others the way you want yourself to be treated

Always think twice before you make heavy demands or complain for something which you otherwise have never been able to fulfill, if asked for.

2. Do not ignore your own feelings

Do not ever agree on what you do not believe in to avoid further frustration. You must feel good to do good. Otherwise this will encourage negative vibes between you two and with this; you will start feeling yourself being misunderstood. But this does not mean that you straightaway reject what your husband asks you to go for, rather the situation demands from you that initially, you say okay, whether somebody else is present or not, and try to express yourself later on about what you think about the matter so that he should be able to understand your feelings. Give each other some time for better understanding.

Your instant opposition will make him feel offended thereby presenting a wrong image of yours in his mind. He will think that you do not respect him due to which he will never be able to give you that much respect.

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3. Stay ever charming n attractive!

Young lady, do not ever dare to neglect your oomph factor! The only thing in you that can always make you feel wanted n appreciated, is your sexual confidence. It will never let your husband crave for anybody else outside your marriage. If you want your husband to remain attractive as ever, then he also wants you to be enough charming to make other men jealous of him n to make your husband proud.

Some women take their the love of their husband for granted n never bother their own fading physical charm n remain in the illusion that love is blind;

whether I look attractive or not, he will always love me.

And here only, they commit a big mistake; love can be blind but not your man! Men need to see what they want to touch. So, my dear, just think once again, before its too late.

4. Say yes to love-making at least once a week

Love-making is in fact, one of the main ingredients that build up a long-lasting marriage. Avoiding it may play havoc with your married life. So, try to respect the physical desires of your husband; do not take it as being something vulgar or obscene. After all, being more than mere husband-wife, you are life partners and if both of you wont be open with each other then with whom else you will express your physical desires.

Actually, men are more expressive in this matter as compared to women so if you will consider your husbands physical demands as being vulgar then he will feel offended in front of you and start seeking a better company outside. So, to avoid such a situation, you should change your attitude towards him. Try to play with each others bodies; after all it is the basic need of a human being. So, move ahead n let your sexiness overrule your senses n then see the magic it brings to your relationship!!!

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In an institution demanding maturity for its success, marriage and romantic partnership is not just an institution but a process for revealing our immaturities and inadequacies. And we're all revealed; marriage, just like parenting, undoes even the most together of people.

And if there's one area where the undoing takes place it's in the pettiness we either insist upon or put up with.

PETTINESS BEGETS PETTINESS

Much like any common relational sin, when one begins being petty, drawing in unimportant issues or those irrelevant to the discussion, dissuading the focus of the gathering conflict, it's a hidden invitation for the other are join in. It's like, 'If you're allowed to bring in such superfluous things, so am I!' And so begins the one-upmanship.

What happens here, of course, is that one slinks back into the child state and unconsciously invites the other to join them, fighting as if they were eight-year-olds scrapping on the floor. It resembles a tennis match, as each has their turn at sending a winner past their opponent (their partner).

Yet, this is one game where there are no winners. Even if one wins the stoush, the relationship loses.

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The only way such conflict stops is when one partner refuses to partake in issues of irrelevant or unimportant pettiness. They refuse to become intimidated. And in that, they're the ones that redeem the adult power; though it seems they're giving in, so long as they refuse to become upset, they've won, because the relationship has been relieved of falling into the ridiculous.

INSISTING UPON OR PUTTING UP WITH

The aggressor and the submitter do themselves and their marriages few favours by behaving the way they do. When people insist on their pettiness they constrict any room the relationship would have of harmony, because of their selfishness. When people put up with others' pettiness they, too, do their relationships no favours; they're allowing the setting of, or maintaining of, dangerous precedents.

The midway between the aggressor and the submitter is the asserter. They quietly refuse to partake in the irrelevant, sticking on-point themselves, whilst calling the other to gentle account - to justify actual things said; to ensure the taking of adult responsibility. And that's all that's required; patiently staying on track and being respectful, and climbing above the temptation to lose patience.

It only takes one patient, resilient asserter in a marriage, one that wisely steers conflict from the rocks into safe waters, by staying calmly and respectfully on point, and noting before things get out of control to weigh anchor, to deal with an irrational partner. (And we all present as irrational from time to time.)

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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