My Wife Refuses To Change: Understanding Women For A Successful Marriage

Women are said to be complex beings. Most of the time they are described by men to be "too hard to understand" especially with their frequent mood swings and the like. They are also quite well known to be the shy when it comes to the topic of sex and intimacy.

Believe it or not, even married women have issues on sex and intimacy. Most of the time, this becomes a problem in the marriage, since men really don't like being rejected by their partner when it comes to the arena of making love. However, it isn't really all due to the reason that a woman doesn't want her man, but instead, there are a variety of reasons why problems like this occur.

So, as a guide, it is important that you understand how women feel and perceive intimacy and sex differently than men. Here are the essentials that you need to know.

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In reality, it is impossible to pinpoint exactly what women want. Just like everything else in life, it is based on an individual preference or basis. Hence, whatever a woman is longing for or in regard to the area of sex would be simply what she needs during that time in her life.

For instance, there are some women who enjoy getting a lot of affection and tenderness but have a low intensity in the bedroom. On the other hand, there are also women that may get a big share of extreme, physical sex but actually yearn for more consideration, affection, and gentleness to get some balance.

Nevertheless, there is still a general trend among women. This can be backed-up by the numerous studies and research that have been held through the years.

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God created the sexes equal and yet they each have different temperaments, personalities, and behaviors that compliment one another. The best way to love the woman you married is to understand those differences. Your wife likes it when you express your feelings to her, rather than keeping your feelings bottled up. She wants details from your heart and mind, not curt yes and no answers. You're not with the guys anymore when you come home from work.

A woman feels closer to her man when he talks about himself and can openly discuss issues within himself. Tell her what is bothering you. Don't hold stuff in and get resentful over it. Emotional and psychological infidelities are caused from the lack of emotional intimacy between couples. Always keep the communication lines open between you and your wife. This will keep the marriage intimate and active. When couples stop talking, that's when to start worrying.

I don't care how long you have been married your wife still wants to hear the words "I love you" every single day. Many wives want to be held by you for at least one full minute every single day. She wants to be "shown" your love for her by your manly protection of her. Do not be intimidated to exert your God-given headship position in the marriage. That is what God made you for. This is actually the proper way to love and care for the woman you married. Be her man so she can be your woman.

God gave the male sex the instinctive ability to be a protector of women and children. The captain always goes down with his ship, or is the last one off the ship. Where are you in your marriage? First or last? You should put your wife's well being above yours. You're the captain and she is your first mate. Your buddies, your work, your sports, or your parents are not your first mate - your wife is.

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When a man puts his own Captain first in his life he will not have any problems respecting and loving his wife in the ways that are meant for him to love her. In marriage there will be some days when your wife may get overly emotional, dramatic, cranky, or talkative. So what! Let her be. Don't put her down by telling her she is emotional. Grin and bear it instead. Are you the captain of your ship?

Don't take your wife's emotions personally. Usually all she really needs is your understanding and support of her feelings. Give her a back massage and take the kids for the day. And remember that a woman's hormones tend to get a bit wacko during ovulation and "forty something" women may behave more emotional than normal because of perimenopause. This I know for a fact. The herb called Black Cohash works great for this, by the way ladies. Call your local health food store and see if they have it, or you can buy it online. It really works on the temperament.

Make your wife the center of your attention. Make her feel important in your life every single day. Always communicate your thoughts, ideas and feelings with the woman you married. Yes, women can get emotional sometimes, work with her, accept it and move on.

Be completely humble and gentle, be patient bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:2-3)

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Are you perturbed by the question "Will my wife ever love me again?" People who ask themselves this question are of two types, those who have been separated from their wives and those who still live with their wives as estranged partners. It may comfort you to know that you are not alone in being haunted by this question. There are hundreds, if not thousands of others in a similar situation. On the other hand, there are people who feel that they are entangled in a relationship bereft of love, from which they would like to extricate themselves as soon as they could. What this means is that there are relationship problems everywhere. Believe me, you can get back the passionate love which you once shared with your wife.

But you need to be clear about one thing. How did you conclude that your wife did not love you any more? Did she tell you? She might not have said so in so many words but did she at least give you broad hints indicating her lack of love for you? If you ponder over this question, chances are that you may not get a quick yes as the answer. You may start wondering since when you have started feeling this way and what has happened to trigger this feeling. It is quite possible that her love for you has evaporated due to certain developments in your relationship. But what is equally possible is that this is only your perception. And your question "Will my wife ever love me again?' has stemmed out of this perception only.

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It is true that perception also has a basis. But, in a relationship, sometimes, small incidents lead people to develop exaggerated impressions. You might have been hurt by an occasional indifference shown to you by your wife and might have mistaken it for hatred. People sometimes behave irrationally due to various reasons, often caused by psychological factors. A husband facing a harrowing time in his workplace may vent his anger on his wife and may even exhibit certain extreme behavior patterns. But these have nothing to do with his love for her, which may still lie deep in his heart. This temporary aberration will disappear after a while. But the impact this creates on the wife may become serious and sometimes irreversible.

So, first analyze the background situation and understand the factors that led to the situation. Once you are clear of this, you will think of ways of rectifying things and get an answer to the question "Will my wife ever love me again?"

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Talking about jealousy in a relationship is an extremely challenging endeavor. However, if jealousy is a part of your relationship and you are going to deal with it once and for all, it is extremely important that you develop the correct approach and even verbiage to talk about it in a manner that engages your partner meaningfully.

Given the emotional nature of jealousy, it is not surprising that if and when it becomes a part of relationships it is so difficult to deal with constructively. Emotions are always on the high side, suspicions are rife, and insecurities are most likely a part of the environment.

It is for these reasons in particular why it is so necessary to understand that the onus is on both parties to develop an approach where instead of these negative emotions driving the conversation, there is a feeling of a definite objective to be met. And that is to be rid of the feelings of jealousy in your relationship.

So if you are the one having feelings of jealousy in the relationship that are really not tied to any particular incident, how do you communicate this in a manner that is not accusatory and in a manner that does not unnecessarily put your partner in a defensive mode?

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Instead of taking a stance that portrays your partner as the one to be blamed for how you feel, start off by taking an approach that clearly states how you are feeling without tying it to any behavior on the part of your partner. That should create an environment where what is in focus is concern for the feelings you are having and a desire to deal with them.

Understand that it is extremely important that you set a tone where your partner feel vested in ridding you of your feelings of jealousy. This is of the utmost importance. If your partner feels or perceives that he or she is being unfairly criticized, put down or feels it is only about your feelings, then it is highly unlikely that the conversation will even get past first base. And what you could end up doing is creating a superiority hurdle that will make it more difficult to build trust in your relationship.

The end result of all of this of course is that you both will be left feeling even more frustrated and any feelings of insecurity is likely to increase. This is of course not your objective. Hence this is why you need to adopt the correct conversational tone in expressing your feelings to your partner.

Jealousy in relationships can be a real challenge to deal with, but with the correct understanding of what is involved, a responsible attitude and a particular focus on what is at stake - you and your partner's happiness.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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