My Wife Loves Me but Doesn't Desire Me: Wife Not Interested In Intimacy

Relative to having a sexual relationship, there is a certain dynamic that men absolutely must understand and it is this: "A woman's interest in sex and desire for sex (or the lack thereof) with a given man is a REACTION to that man."

More than a few young guys have been surprised to discover an attractive young lady they knew - say from school or the neighborhood - a young lady they fully believed to be non-sexual - until they encountered her in a certain environment - say a concert or a new guy showing up at a party - and they were totally blown away by her blatant, promiscuous sexual behavior.

It was usually at this point that these fellows became aware of the fact that when you get a female in close proximity with a certain kind of male she WILL REACT with incredible sexual energy.

Further, it was usually at this point that these fellows realized that unlike the other fellow, they HAD NOT triggered a sexual response in the female - which caused them to realize they needed to make some changes so that they COULD trigger a sexual response in a female.

Let's go deeper...

In general, there are three different ways a woman will REACT to a man; two of them are NON-sexually and one of them is EXTREMELY sexually. Here, I want to talk about the two NON-sexual ways...

The first way husbands initiate a NON-sexual reaction in their wife is by placing her at the bottom of their "totem pole" of life. In this scenario, the only interest the man has in his wife is sexually. Other than that, his time and interests are primarily focused on his career, his hobbies, and/or his friends. Consequently, he has little time for his wife or family as he consistently pushes them to a "back burner"

Although the wife of this kind of husband may remain sexual for a period of time, her receptiveness to his sexual advances will continue dwindling until eventually she is REPULSED by the idea of having sex with her husband.

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Usually, the types of husbands that fall into this situation are the dominant and influencer types.

The dominant type is the husband who is motivated by solving problems, who likes challenges, who likes the big picture, who doesn't mind taking risks, the kind of fellow who is results oriented and time/task oriented - the kind of man that's usually referred to as a type-A.

The influencer type - sometimes called the expressive type - is the husband who is motivated and energized by being around people. He's usually quite outgoing, animated, and persuasive. He has a strong need for people interactions - and the more the merrier.

The second way husbands initiate a NON-sexual reaction in their wife is essentially an inversion of the first scenario...the husband ALLOWS the wife relegate him into a lower-level support/servant role...he ALLOWS his wife to place him at the bottom of her "totem pole" of life.

Usually, this kind of husband suppresses his feelings, wants, interests, and desires which means he subjugates himself to his wife and he thereby trains her to place a low priority on him and to develop higher priorities in other areas of her life such as her job, hobbies, or friends.

This is the kind of husband that takes on the majority of the family responsibilities as he works a job by day and takes care of the home by night (or vice versa). Not only is he working a full time job, he's also a full time "Mr. Mom", plus he get's to be "Mr. Handyman" for all of the odd jobs his wife throws at him. He does his best to make sure he's always doing the things his wife likes and not the things she doesn't like. And, by his servitude and passiveness, he trains her to control him, to look down upon him, and to belittle him.

As this happens, the wife loses all respect for her husband, and unfortunately, she is wired in such a way that she cannot be sexually attracted to a husband she does not respect.

Soon enough, no matter what the husband does or how much he does, at best it's expected and unappreciated and at worst, it's wrong and he gets a verbal lashing or some similar "treatment".

Sadly, this kind of husband continues to think and operate along the lines of, "I just want my wife and kids to be happy and my own happiness doesn't matter" - he continues to deny himself and give to everyone else - and yet he's extremely unhappy about the fact that he gets no appreciation, respect, affection, or sex in return.

Usually, the types of husbands that fall into this situation are the steady and conscientious types.

The husband who is the steady type is motivated by helping others, maintaining status quo, and maintaining predictability. This type of husband likes a life that's full of repetitive tasks and patterns. This kind of husband usually exhibits extreme amounts of patience. He's the good 'ol boy that gets along with everyone and doesn't like any kind of confrontation or conflict.

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The husband who is the conscientious type is motivated by following procedures and by finding better ways of doing things. He loves to analyze things. This type likes lots of details and always wants more facts before he can make decision. And, he's eternally afraid that he'll make a mistake or that he'll do something that will make him look stupid or inept. Because of this, he hates any type of risk and doesn't like change unless it's within his area of expertise.

Now, here's what I want you to realize...all of these different types of men have certain kinds of strengths and skills that make them very valuable and important. HOWEVER, it is CRITICAL that a man maintain BALANCE because his strength OVER-EXTENDED becomes his greatest WEAKNESS!

Go back and read the previous paragraph again and think about what that means in your marriage...I think you'll find it enlightening.

Now, let me wrap up by reminding you of this relationship dynamic:

"A woman's interest in sex and desire for sex (or the lack thereof) with a given man is a REACTION to that man."

You may not like this dynamic and it may not seem fair or right to you.

For sure, more than a few men have angrily blurted out, "So you're telling me my wife's lack of interest in sex is mostly my fault?"

Well, God is the one who created women to be the way they are...and the feminists hate this...and all the men who are doing without sex hate this...and there's no value or benefit in arguing with facts or denying truths or trying to get something to work contrary to its nature...

Look around at the men who are generating a sexual reaction in women...you can see them at work, on TV, at the store, everywhere. And then, look around at those men who are NOT generating a sexual response in women...they're everywhere too.

Sometimes men will try to explain, "You don't understand, I'm married to a woman who just isn't very sexual and there have even been therapists who said so!"

Regardless of what anyone has said, it's safe to assume that your wife is a "normal" woman which means she is an extremely sexual being. So, if your wife is reacting in a NON-sexual way, then that LETS YOU KNOW that YOU are generating a NON-sexual reaction in your wife towards yourself.

Like it or not, when a husband fully comprehends and accepts this dynamic, he will have taken a giant step towards becoming one of those men who enjoys high-frequency sex.

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As a marriage enters the period after the initial excitement has worn off there are many men who find themselves unsatisfied and with a sexless wife who will not give him the satisfaction he craves. Jokes may be made but beneath the surface the husband is often feeling a great amount of frustration.

Read the strategies below to get some help with ideas on how to resolve your problems in the bedroom and make them a thing of the past.

Start off Slow

Women are much more insightful than men, so you need to make sure that anything you do is not obviously done with sex as the ulterior motive. You need to build the romance and passion side of things without doing it in a selfish manner.

Focus on simply enjoying each others company and allow the flame to spark as it obviously did when you were initially attracted to each other.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Resentment Can Prevent The Passion From Being Reignited

This situation can build into resentment on both sides. If allowed to fester this will manifest itself in ugly ways that force an even greater divide between the two of you.

This resentment will take hold gradually and you need to be aware of this happening before it's too late.

Communicate!

When working on your relationship problems with a sexless wife, communication is crucial to how well you progress. How can you ever hope to find the solution to this dilemma if you don't know what is causing her to be so sexually unavailable.!

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

Save your marriage now and visit Save The Marriage

When I attended my first Christian marriage retreat a few years ago, I had to overcome a big misconception. When I got married, I believed that relationships built on a Christian foundation were stronger and less likely to fail. While I still believe this to be true, the reality is that a Christian couple faces the same marital trials and tribulations and hardships as any other couple. I'd like to share some information about Christian marriage retreats that could save your marriage.

What Exactly Is a Christian Marriage Retreat?

Typically these events are held in relaxing resort type locations where the couple feels like they are on a vacation. It may be something local like a hotel or spa, or a couple may choose to make a mini vacation out of it and travel to another city. Counselors and clergy will be on hand for group presentations, and also to interact individually with each couple to help them gain a better understanding of the problems they are facing and be able to put it into the context of their relationship with God.

What Happens Next?

This will be a private time for the couple to begin working on their own personal issues and experience closeness with each other. Under the guidance of a counselor, specific communication strategies will be discussed so that the couple can develop new ways to express their feelings and emotions. This is a very important part of restoring the love and understanding they felt when they first got married.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Benefits of a Christian Marriage Retreat

There are a number of benefits for the couples who attend these retreats. Among them are:

- Get at the root of their problems and address these problems rather than continuing to ignore them, hoping they will go away. They won't.

- By hearing about the experiences of other couples at the retreat you can learn from their experiences and can often apply this to your own marriage. Many times there are couples in attendance who are "alumni" of these retreats and now have a rich and fulfilling marriage. They serve as examples to troubled couples because they have been there themselves.

- These retreats almost without fail will help the couple to become closer to God and strengthen their faith in Him.

If you and your spouse are struggling in your marriage and would like to get outside help, a Christian marriage retreat can be extremely helpful. Remember, even Christian couples struggle and you can gather together with them to strengthen your marriage like never before!

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If you're like most men, you've thought "I want to divorce my wife" at least once in your life. Probably around the time she was nagging at you again, or accusing you of having an affair, or picking fights with you for no good reason. Be warned! For every man who's ever raged "I really need to divorce my wife", there's another who regretted ending his marriage. Here are 3 reasons why...

1. You'll just end up with another wife with issues
Chances are after your divorce, you'll meet someone new. And in today's uncertain times, she'll probably want to get married. She'll have other issues. Are you going to divorce her too? Can you see the potential cycle going round here?

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2. You'll be another depressing statistic
The statistics show that divorced men die younger, earn less and are more likely to have mental issues and commit suicide than married ones. Fancy being a poor mental case who dies young by his own hands?

3. Your kids will suffer as much as you will
Even more significant is the fact that, compared to kids whose parents are together, kids from a broken home do worse in school, have mental issues and will have difficulty with relationships and marriages in the future.

Honestly, you're much better off working at your marriage than considering divorce. After all, you know deep down inside that you love her, she's the one you've waited for all your life. You just have to find solutions to the issues that's dragging you down and making you think "I got to divorce my wife".

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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