My Wife Doesn't Want Me To Touch Her Anymore: Your Wife Has No Desire For Sex

Recently, a man asked me the following question:

"Calle, can you tell me what's going on? My wife and I have been married for 15 years and after the first year, the sex started becoming less and less frequent. My wife simply wasn't in the mood for it...she didn't feel like having sex...she had a "headache"...she was "tired" or whatever.

Now, if we make love once a month it's a miracle and even then, she's clearly and obviously just "giving it" to me so I'll shut up and go away. It doesn't seem to matter what I say or do, my wife just doesn't seem to have any interest in sex. And, that's how it's been for years. That's not how it was before we married and during the first year, but after that, it's like her desire for sex just completely disappeared.

And now...the latest thing I have discovered is that my wife seems to be having an affair. Of course, she is denying it but I'm seeing too many indications...too many red flags...and the last time we made love it was definitely like she had been in bed with another guy and since then, she has been even more distant and has shunned my approaches even more strongly than she has in the past.

So, my question is, how can a woman who has had no desire for sex all these years...who has avoided intimacy with me go have an affair with another man? That just doesn't make any sense to me...I don't get that!"

That's a good question don't you think? How can a woman who seemingly doesn't like or want sex go engage in sex with another man? Well, let's explore what's really going on by asking another question...

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

What kind of man does your wife want?

The answer to that question is my famous line, "A woman wants a man that she can have a positive and sexual reaction to." A woman wants a man who understands and meets her needs. And, she wants a man who thinks, behaves, and operates in a way that is appealing, attractive, and sexy.

And, when the man who asked the question above didn't provide those things to his wife, she began to move away from him...she began to stop wanting sex with HIM.

BIG, BIG, distinction here...she didn't stop wanting sex...she stopped wanting sex with HIM. She stopped wanting sex with a man who wasn't turning her on sexually.

Now, the issue was not that this man was incapable of turning his wife on sexually. The issue was that he had not yet learned how to do that.

As a comparison, imagine that right after this man married his wife she started growing uglier and uglier until she eventually became this horribly grotesque woman. If this had happened, the man would have stopped wanting sex with his wife, right? Well, for a man, it primarily has to do with physical looks. For a wife, it primarily has to do with the feelings that the man she's with creates inside of her...and this man just needed to learn how to create the right feelings inside of her.

Your wife wanted sex in the past. She wants sex NOW. She wants sex in the future. So, if your wife doesn't want sex with you, then she wants it with someone else. If your wife does not want sex with you, I suggest you use that as motivation to become the kind of man that your wife wants before she goes and finds someone else.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Now, I want to raise a related point...

I was helping a different man recently who also found himself in an almost identical situation...he and his wife had been married for 18 years, wife had resisted and rejected sex for years...and then he discovered that his wife was having an affair, etc. Anyway, as I began talking with this man, one of the things he kept saying over and over was...

"Overall, I have been a very good husband and father!"

I'm sure you've heard other men say this about themselves, right? And in fact, you may have even said or thought this about yourself too.

But, let's ask ourselves, what does that really mean to say you are a good husband and father? Well, when you boil it all down, for most men it means three things:

1. They are a decent provider.
2. They aren't an alcoholic or drug-addict.
3. They aren't physically abusive.

Now, here's what men must wake up and realize...none of those three things mean a man has satisfied, excited, or generated a positive and sexual reaction in his wife towards him. None of these three things mean a wife really respects or admires or is attracted to her husband.

In fact, all too often "I've been a good husband" really just means a man has been a soft, passive, be nice, put up with a lot of nonsense and misbehavior kind of guy...and that's NOT the kind of man a woman will have a positive and sexual reaction to. So, let me say it again...

A woman wants a man who understands and meets her needs. And, she wants a man who thinks, behaves, and operates in a way that is appealing, attractive, and sexy. For the sake of your marriage and any children you may have, I strongly encourage you to become this kind of man.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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Problems in marriage can occur even though most of us expect to live happily ever after when we marry. Marriage troubles are bound to occur and in many cases the problems can reach the point of destroying the very foundation of the married life we had hoped for. Taking a closer look at these mistakes may provide an additional view of how they affect your own situation and may give an added perspective on how to fix a marriage.

Handle Financial Problems Wisely
Financial problems and issues can be the cause of marriage breakup. Unfortunately the stress of this situation can cause couples to stop communicating with each other. Arguments breakout and placing blame becomes the flavor of the day. When couples stop communicating with each other matters are likely to go from bad to worse.

Open communication can help couples through even the most serious financial crisis.
- It is important that each partner be involved in the finances of the marriage.
- Open communication and sincerity is important in financial stressful situations...
- Discuss the problems openly... Place everything out in the open so there are no secrets
- If you are both working create a written plan listing each bill and who will pay it.
- Avoid casting blame
- Create written a budget and stick to it.
- Decide upon a plan of action to eliminate debt

Financial problems do not have destroy marriages and cause marriage breakups. Having a plan of action that you both are involved with, can help lower the stress level and reduce arguments.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Trust Is Critical to Marriage
If trust has been broken, regaining it will definitely improve marriage. Regaining trust may take time and hard work. There are different aspects of trust, such as trusting that your spouse will be faithful or trusting your spouse with your emotions of feelings.

The basics of building/regaining trust involve:
- Consistently showing consideration for your spouses emotions and feelings
- Being truthful
- Following through with promises big and small
- Being where you say you are(if you are at the ball game then be at the ball game)
- Not having secrets

Trust is earned and not something that comes automatically especially if there are valid reasons for your spouse not to trust you. Working to restore trust and other problems in marriage can be done but don't expect it to happen overnight.

Jealousy in Marriage
Jealousy is a common human emotion and can usually be dealt with under normal circumstances. It is a feeling of possibly losing someone/something your care about.

Common causes of jealousy in marriage can include:
- spouse flirting
- The feeling that a spouse may have when their partner is totally consumed by other activities or people
- Speaking with an ex boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse
- Communicating with another in secret
- Understandably having an affair is going to make your spouse jealous and angry
- etc

Although painful and stressful in most cases steps can be taken overcoming jealousy in marriage to solve these common causes of jealousy problems.

However, excessive and irrational jealousy can present a significant danger to a marriage. Left alone without help excessive jealousy can result in extreme marital conflict. In such causes marriage counseling or other psychological help may be in order.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Emotional Neglect
In this day and age it is not uncommon to for marriages to suffer from emotional neglect. Long working hours traveling and other activities can cause couples to put their marital relationship on the back burner. This may work for a while but eventually this takes its toll on the marriage. Those once rosy expectations are replaced by pessimism, sadness, and disappointment that the marriage has become secondary.

Signs of emotional neglect can be:

- Forgetting spousal birthdays and anniversaries
- Assuming that your spouse and family will accept and understand your lack of involvement in their lives
- Showing little interest in your spouse or their feelings
- Being constantly preoccupied with other things that even when you are with your spouse you are not really emotionally present.

Sometimes couples are surprised and caught off guard when they discover their spouse has had enough of being marginalized and made to feel that they are not important.

Allowing others to destroy your marriage
A marriage is the joining of two people to become one and in that union each spouse should come first in each others lives. Allowing in-laws, family and friends to interfere with your marital relationship can bring on serious marriage troubles and threaten marital harmony.

Remember your spouse married you and not your family. There are times when it is necessary to lay ground rules to in laws family and friends for the sake of your marriage.

Managing marriage expectations
Each person comes into a marriage with their own set of beliefs and expectations in marriage. It is common to have high expectations of our spouses and how our marriage will be throughout the years. After the newness of marriage wears off and the reality of what it takes for a marriage to work sets in, some make the mistake developing a feeling of disappointment in the status of your marriage and spouse. It is important to remember that a happy successful marriage is possible but it takes a lot of hard work.

Infidelity
There are few things more devastating than learning that your spouse has had an affair. Few things can threaten the survival of a marriage more than infidelity. For some people it's akin to having the life sucked out of you or experiencing the death of a family member. If both partners are willing, it is possible to save a marriage after infidelity. Trust will have been broken and it will take an extraordinary amount of effort and hard work to regain trust.

Making the above mentioned mistakes can be devastating to your marriage and family. Avoiding these mistakes by learning strategies and skills to improve your marriage will assist in developing a successful marriage with longevity.

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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From personal experience and the experience of people close to me, at the point of time and at the place in my life when I was pondering how to stop my divorce, I was miserable, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I was on the verge of giving up, I hated myself and I even considered suicide.

It looked as if everything I tried to salvage the marriage and stop my divorce not only did not work but failed miserably. I was pretty sure nothing else could be done to stop my divorce. And then, I realized what my husband and I were doing wrong -- we were trying to save the marriage instead of deciding to save it. Is there a difference? Let me tell you there is.

This is the thing about the human mind and how it attributes significance in the words you say and think in your mind. When you use the word "try", your brain will unconsciously decide whatever effort is put in may or may not need to result in a desired outcome. After all, you only want to "try" right?

On the other hand, when I "decide" or "ensure" or "believe" that I "will" save my marriage and stop my divorce, that's exactly what my mind, heart, soul, entire being will work towards. I completely under-estimated what a difference this can make in my efforts to stop my divorce.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

Think about it for a second. Have you heard the saying that "love is a decision"? It's very true. When you decide you love someone, your entire being is geared to being with that person, doing whatever in your power to make him or her happy, and want to spend their life with you too.

Similarly, marriage is also a decision. Look at the decisions you must make for a marriage to succeed --

1. Decide to love each other

2. Decide to forgive each other when things go bad

3. Decide to forget instead of bringing past errors up to spite or hurt each other

4. Decide to work through your disagreements, fights and quarrels

5. Decide to make the effort to make things right

6. Decide to compromise when you can't agree

7. Decide to agree to disagree when you have to

8. Decide to swallow your pride and get expert marriage help when you have no other choice left.

The key here is "to decide". Once you and your husband or wife decide you want to save the marriage and avoid divorce, you are setting yourself up for success.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

If you are asking "how do I save a failing marriage when my wife wants a divorce," then you may be very surprised with what I am about to tell you. I'll share with you my personal experience after having been in a very similar situation to what you are experiencing now. Hopefully, I can spare you some of the disappointment and pain I went through and help set you on the right course by explaining what you must do.

I could not imagine what you are feeling right now unless I had been through it myself! It's hard to describe isn't it? I felt kind of like I was punched in the stomach and knifed in the back at the same time. It was a combination of pain and having the wind sucked out of me all at once. And the way I was left feeling when my wife told me she wanted a divorce made me unable to make rational and calm decisions and uncertain of what to do.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

At a time like this you will need to do several things. And if you've never been through something like this before, these things might not seem apparent to you. They definitely were not apparent to me! But here is what I learned after much pain and heartache which nearly cost me my marriage. First I was not in an emotional state to make the necessary steps in a calm and rational way. So the first thing I had to learn how to do was to get out of my negative emotional state and put myself in a more resourceful state. The approach I learned will teach you how to do that!

Second, I had to learn about the critical mistakes that most men make when their wives tell them the marriage is over. By learning about these mistakes, I was able to either avoid them or stop making them. Believe me, these mistakes actually make the problem worse and will doom your chances to save your failing marriage! The approach I learned will teach you about these mistakes!

Finally, I had to learn specifically what to do, what to say and how to act around my wife in the hours, days and weeks ahead. This is the most critical period of all and time is not on your side. Hoping the problem will go away on its own is NOT a good plan! You will need to be willing to follow a powerful step-by-step approach which is laid out in detail for you!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

Now you can stop your divorce or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! Visit Stop Marriage Divorce

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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