I was in a very dark place personally about six months ago. Life wasn’t going well, things didn’t go my way. I didn’t have any friends, not a prospect of a girlfriend, I used to sloth through college every day. It was a pain, I didn’t see a point other than pleasing my parents and society.

But then I ran into a YouTube video by a famous psychologist. The video talked about life, about being a man, about how you have to stand up for yourself, take charge, take responsibility for yourself. “Everybody keeps talking about bloody rights,” he said. “Rights, rights, rights, when in fact that’s only half the story. People, especially men, especially young men; also need to hear about responsibility. They need to know that they are capable of picking up a load and carrying it, for taking better care of themselves and those around them, of making something out of themselves.”

Responsibility. Improvement, hard work. That idea clicked with me, I realized I was letting my life happen to me rather than taking charge. That was the beginning.

#What Happened Next.

Man, the following week was crazy. That video lighted a spark. I started watching more videos from him back to back for hours upon hours for whole days, spending thirteen hours on YouTube a day. You know, in some arid territories the vegetation looks dull and brow and dead all year round, and it stays that way until it rains. Then, hours after the rain, everything becomes green and starts blossoming as the plants absolve every single drop of humidity nature has bestowed upon them.

That’s what it felt like, watching those videos. I was on edge and attent, watching second, listening to every word of advice. I learned how to be a man, how to think, how to view the world. Life, it turns out, has a meaning.

The doctor explained that there is indeed a meaning to life. Or at least, that there are better and worse ways of living life, and that we should aim up instead of aiming down. Even if you take the most pessimistic view ever, that life is pain, then you can still aim up. Just aim at living your life in a way that reduces the amount of stupid suffering you have to experience. After all, pain hurts much worse when we know it was our fault and we could have avoided it.

I started writing like mad, too. I’d always been a writer, but for that week my journal entries went from being 300 - 400 words long to being 12.000 words long in some days as I scrambled to put my life in order.

Writing probably saved my life back then. If you don’t write, I really recommend you give it a try. It can be fiction, non-fiction, it all can help you process stuff. Here, I saw this article on Srcxp.com and thought it gives some great pointers for beginners. It’s called "21 Writing Exercises for Beginners".

#Where I am now.

Anyway, I survived that first week. You know, barely. I wrote until my fingers hurt some days, and had two panic attacks for reasons I can’t adequately put into words. On one hand, it felt silly to have youtube lectures trigger panic attacks, but as I went through them they felt… necessary. As if the panic was part of the transformation process.

After that initial harsh week, I started changing things, putting stuff I learned into practice. I started paying attention to the world around me, looking for opportunities to improve, looking for things I shouldn’t be doing. I made a vow to never lie again, not to myself or anybody else, and that turned out to be an incredibly powerful decision. Telling the truth helps you be who you are, it forces you to confront what your truth is and what you actually want out of life.

I’m much better now. I started working hard on everything that bothered me about myself, all the skills I was missing. I started becoming more social, talking to people, making small talk, then conversation, and eventually even some actual friends. I got my first girlfriend in years just a week ago.

Things are good. And thank God for that.

Author's Bio: 

Success Coach, Business Development Consultant, Strategist,Blogger, Traveller, Motivational Writer & Speaker