My Husband Yells At Me In Public: How To Stop My Husband From Yelling At Me

The question of making your spouse respect you may look surprising on the face of it, since what anyone expects from their spouse is only love. So, where does respect come in a marital relationship?

To understand the concept of respect between marriage partners, you need to look at other relationships. Didn't your parents expect you to respect them? They wouldn't have thought 'What if my son/ daughter respects me?

He/she loves me so much.' Respect is an acceptance of control in a relationship. While in the parent-child relationship, the parent is superior (at least in the early stages!), in the relationship between the spouses, siblings etc, there is always a need for mutual respect. The husband respects the wife and the wife respects the husband.

This simply means that one accepts the other exercising control over oneself at least in certain areas. For instance, a woman cannot advise her husband on his health unless she commands some respect from him.

In a marital relationship, it sometimes happens that one spouse stops respecting the other. A husband who doesn't respect his wife will ask her to mind her business if she advises him even on something that is of interest to both. Such a reaction may occur even in the normal course when a person is in not in a good mood or loses the balance due to dome emotional issues. But when it becomes a normal reaction, it indicates that one partner has no respect for the other.

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How will you handle such a situation and win over the respect that is due to you?

1) First of all, be clear about the situation. Don't jump to conclusions based on one or two instances of your spouse walking over you. As I said earlier, this may be a temporary problem caused by your spouse's mental agitation. Look for patterns. If the pattern confirms the trend of your spouse refusing to treat you with the respect and consideration that you deserve, then you can decide that you should act.

2) Give them hints. You can make indirect references of your spouse seeking your opinion and considering it in the past. Do it without complaining. This will make your spouse aware that they are being unjust to you. They will also know that you have observed the change and have been unhappy about it. In many cases, this realization will provoke them into speaking out their minds. If they are angry or unhappy with you, they will talk about it. This will give you an opportunity to resolve the issue.

3) Confront them. If the hints are not taken, then it is time for direct action. Confront them with the issue. Don't lament. Tell them that you are hurt but assert your rights. You are not asking for their sympathy but asking them to recognize your role as their life partner. When you bring up the issue, your spouse will be forced to reveal their minds thereby giving you a chance to understand the problem. Once you know what the problem is, you will have to think of an appropriate solution to restore your relationship.

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It has been declared a shame that the human brain - the most complex thing found in the known universe - does not come with an owner's manual. You would think it would have one! And, many people have said the same thing about children: parents would love it if their children came with a user manual that was custom-designed for that child.

There is something else in life that is complicated, very important, and often comes with a number of tough challenges: marriage. It would be great if we all had the opportunity to take a class or even earn a degree in how to remain happily-married. But alas, most of us barely have the time in the day to earn a living, study, or otherwise do what we need to do just get by.

Still, there is a lot of collective wisdom out there held by people who have been (usually) happily married for years or even decades.

If you are saying to yourself, "I am looking for marriage advice on things that no one told me," here are 7 things you should know:

1. Having problems in a relationship is 100% normal:

Every person who has ever been married - and there have been quite a few of us throughout history - has sometimes felt frustrated with their spouse. Yes, problems are inherent in every marriage. So, do not get down on yourself or your spouse if you encounter some issues now and again. And, realize that there may be some things about your husband or wife that will always bother you and that you will just have to learn to live with.

2. The key to success in marriage is knowing how and when to pick your battles:

Those among us who are always striving for marital perfection may sometimes feel the desire to constantly try to "course correct" our spouses in small or large ways. This is a definite mistake. Instead, learn to pick your battles. This means: know when to stand strong on a particular point and when to just allow it to roll off your back.

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3. Be careful about how you vent about your spouse to your friends:

When you are feeling frustrated with your husband or wife, you may be tempted to share your woes with friends. Be careful about doing this. Once your spat with your spouse is over, your friend will retain the memory about what you said for a long time. You could end up poisoning the waters that you have to swim in.

4. Find ways to make each other laugh:

Maintaining a good sense of humor in marriage is very important. Find ways to laugh at life now and again with each other. In doing so, you will strengthen your bond.

5. When the chips are down, have each other's back:

In your marriage, there will come times when you feel like the world is against one or both of you. During these times, in particular, you need to set down any differences you have with your spouse and back him or her up. This is called maintaining a united front.

6. Once a week do at least one unexpectedly nice thing for your spouse:

Surprise is one of the spices of life, while maintaining the same old habits day in and day out kills the joy in marriages. Try doing something unexpectedly nice for your spouse at least once per week.

7. Sometimes, getting outside advice is needed:

If you find that some of your troubles seem very serious or you just cannot seem to get past them on your own, understand that it is okay and in fact encouraged for you to seek outside counsel and input about how to make things right again.

Consider these 7 things you should know about maintaining a healthy and happy marriage.

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There is obviously something very wrong in your marriage to cause your spouse to have thoughts of ending things. It is important that you convince your spouse to stay in the marriage to prevent your marriage from falling apart totally. For you to be successful in your efforts, you need to take action right now, before things go from bad to worse between you and your spouse.

Think very carefully about what it is that both you and your spouse are doing that could be having an adverse effect on your relationship. Once you have established what the problems could be, tell your spouse that you would like to have a serious discussion about the state of your marriage. In other words, you are going to try to convince your spouse to stay in the marriage.

A really great way to start off this discussion is for you to apologize to your spouse. Say that you have only just realized that you have not been behaving as you should be towards him/her, and want to do all you can to correct this problem. This might just be enough to convince your spouse to stay in the marriage, but don't stop there.

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There could be a few things that are making your spouse unhappy, so ask him/her straight out what it is that you are doing to cause such negative feelings. Your spouse will probably grab this opportunity to get all the problems out in the open. Don't interrupt at all - listen very carefully to what he/she is saying, and then talk about what you are going to do to fix things.

Once your spouse has had his/her say, tell your spouse just how much you love and need him/her. Tell him/her that you cannot bear the thought of ever living without him/her, and are more than willing to do what it takes to convince him to stay in the marriage.

Make an effort to communicate regularly from now on and also be as loving and attentive as possible towards your spouse. Your spouse needs to know exactly where he/she stands with you and, if you tell him/her all the time, this will definitely be enough to convince your spouse to stay in the marriage.

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A healthy marriage relies on the foundations of truth, honesty, honor, respect, and above all commitment. Couples don't have a problem staying married, that's the easy part! The difficult element of marriage is actually being happy and satisfied? Wouldn't you say?

By answering these questions, you will find out how to be happy in your marriage.

1.) What is the purpose for your marriage?

2.) What do you believe is truth for your marriage?

3.) And where do those beliefs come from?

Many of us choose marriage because we don't want to be alone in life. We want a lasting friendship/relationship with another to walk life's journey with. That means husband and wife shouldn't go wondering off on separate roads, but stay together on the same roads learning and growing together.

Many times that takes compromising with each other; giving up something YOU enjoy for the sake of YOUR spouse. This is how you bring happiness and contentment into the marriage.

So what is the purpose for your marriage?

Choosing happiness and satisfaction is a purpose in your life, is it not? It is something we all want. Who doesn't want to be happy? How will you attain this happiness? What will you do to bring happiness into your marriage for your self and spouse? You can't really expect your spouse to make you happy? Isn't this asking too much of them?

If you require inner peace from another human being it isn't going to happen.

So the answer is simple, really, you just got to turn the tables around. Your purpose for marriage is for YOU to bring the happiness, and satisfaction into play for both you and your spouse to enjoy, instead of relying upon or expecting your spouse to do it.

That means giving out a little bit more of your self than you already have, and doing that even when you don't feel like it. So what if you do most of the giving, you shouldn't be keeping score or you will never be happy. Keeping score keeps us under the bondage of our negative feelings. We don't want that.

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To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

You have a big job ahead of you, but it is an important task, that should never be overlooked. It is such an important responsibility that not everyone can do it. In fact, most people choose to live under the control of their feelings and they remain unhappy and unsatisfied. That is why there is so much divorce circulating around in this country.

Remember this is your purpose for marriage, and it is not to be taken lightly.

What do you believe is truth for your marriage?

The selfish way of believing is living in the "I want mode" of thinking. This selfish pattern girdles on what you believe. Culture of society plays itself out with this kind of thinking. People are like chameleons, individuality is lost, and becomes one in its beliefs. A corrupt culture is formed through spiritual bankruptcy. It flourishes on selfish thinking and rebelliousness to the truth.

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Scriptures says in Luke, "You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight." Luke 16:15
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Selfish thinking believes that striving for more money and stuff will make you happy? Should you continue to strive for more riches and status to make your marriage happy and satisfied? When will it be enough money? How will you know when to stop striving for more money? When you win the lottery?

This is how most marriages work. But most marriages are unhappy and failing. So what's the problem?

The power of happiness and satisfaction lies within what you can do for your self.

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"Keep Your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" Hebrews 13:5

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The dissatisfaction you feel is the realization that something is missing in your life; you're just not sure what's missing. Some couples believe the discontent of marriage to mean, they are no longer in love with their spouse, and so their beliefs make them stop loving the way they are supposed to love.

But what's really missing from your life are beliefs built upon the foundations of godly wisdom, love and truth. It is not that you have stopped loving your spouse; it is that you have literally stopped loving your spouse! Your beliefs have created a way of life that feeds off self to survive.

I know these things because I couldn't love my husband properly. I write about this in my new book, Journey on the Roads Less traveled. I took the most traveled road. I define that road as the road full of negative feelings.

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The greatest goal and purpose you can attain for your marriage should to be more loving! To be more giving! To love not on demand or with strings attached, but to just love. But we cannot do that if we are living in self-based love.

We accomplish this goal by handing over the selfish person we are now to God and letting Him take over for us in the selfish department. Once this is done, we can learn to love others with freedom by giving of ourselves with no strings or demands attached.

Believe it or not, this is what fulfills your being and brings happiness and satisfaction into your life and marriage.

When you are filled up with the love of God, He will rid you of all the negative feelings that once were absorbed in your mind that were radiating onto others.

We need to believe in Christ's love and allow His spirit into our lives by humbling (submitting), and accepting Him.

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"...That is why scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6"
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You see, without a real purpose for our lives, a part of us is missing. We are needy, selfish, and clingy and this makes us unable to give of our self. When we love with selfishness, we place bargains and demands on the table with that love. This is not genuine love, but love that is confused and selfish.

Bottom line is if we direct our marriage under our own understanding of what we think and what our feelings say, the marriage becomes a self made marriage, ruled not from the love and wisdom of Jesus Christ, but from selfishness and worldly nature of man's desires.

A healthy marriage cannot survive under those conditions and environment without much unhappiness, and that is why there is so much divorce!

We all want love and happiness, but it is the source of where we attain that happiness. That is the question. If our purpose is to have bigger and better things, then we know where to look. Those things are right outside our front door.

But if our purpose is to be happy, and to love others and to feel at peace, then it can only be found in one place. Your heart will find it for sure if you are genuinely seeking for the Truth and for the answers.

The source is as close as your mind will contemplate it, and as near to you as your heart will allow it in.

The word of God is a seed planted in your heart, the knowledge and wisdom is pondered, it grows until you become it, and are one with it. Understand it, use it, nurture it, and you shall be happy!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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