My Husband Says His Feelings about Me Have Changed: My Husband Has Lost Feelings for Me

My Husband Says His Feelings about Me Have Changed: My Husband Has Lost Feelings for Me

When your husband is falling out of love with you, making him love you again can seem very hard. "How do I avoid a divorce, then?" I hear you asking. And yes, it can be hard. However, it can be done if you do the right things. I know because I have done it - it seemed just as impossible, but I was taught the right methods, and I did it. So, I am going to help you do the same.

There are a lot of things you can be doing for answering the question "How do I avoid a divorce?". Most of them are about changing your own behavior in life and in your relationship with your husband. If your husband is falling out of love with you, it may be time to compromise on some issues. Which are important - your stance on some of those issues, or your entire marriage? Saving your marriage requires some compromise. Maybe you believe strongly that your spouse is wrong on some of those issues. However, will it make the marriage better if you berate or nag your husband about those issues? The answer is no.

Relationships need energy to maintain, especially marriages. "How do I avoid a divorce?" By using your energies to mend your marriage, not to argue with your husband. Support him whether what you think he is doing is right or wrong. Be kind to him at home - don't pick out his mistakes. If your husband is falling out of love with you, you need to be supportive and nice. You can make him feel loved and special.

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Another good thing to do in order to answer the question "how do I avoid a divorce" is to think more about the romance. Often in a marriage daily issues and stresses cause us, wives, to try to fix everything. More so, we can focus on our family and become so engrossed about being a "good mother" that we ignore the romantic aspect of the relationship. One of the most effective things to do when your husband is to set some time aside just to be alone with your husband, so you can show him you still love him, not in the "I am committed to you" sense, but in the "I am still in love with you just as I was when we were first married." If you are saying "how do I avoid a divorce", you need to be able to do those things - I did them and I saved my marriage. Of course there are still other things you must do to stop a divorce when your husband is falling out of love with you - this is a serious situation.

Even if both spouses love each other sincerely, at times they might find themselves getting more and more distant from each other and getting close to a divorce. But like me, you too can take some steps into saving your marriage and turning it into a satisfying relationship.

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Save my marriage - You are in a very rough spot right now, and all you want to do is fix your marriage, and be happy again. However - before you can start to fix your marriage, you have to take care of yourself.

When a marriage is in crisis, it emotionally drains both of you. I'm sure you've heard the saying 'If you want someone to love you, you have to love yourself'. You may think this sounds corny, but it's very true. What does healing yourself have to do with saving your marriage? EVERYTHING!

While you can't do anything about anyone else (including your spouse), you CAN alter your own behavior and change your reactions to any action that you are faced with. This is very important. By simply turning negative thoughts into positive thoughts, you will start to see differences in your marriage, and your life in general.

Here are some examples:

Saying ' I can't...' is very negative. Change that to positive by saying 'I will...'

Thinking 'There is nothing I can do to make this better' is hurtful. Change that around by thinking ' there are different ways to handle this'.

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Can you see where I'm going with this? It will take some time to be able to consistently do this, but you really have to try. I never believed it myself, until I started doing it. It not only fills your marriage with more positive energy, but it also fills YOU with it. And, by doing this, you are no longer suffering emotionally. You WILL start to feel better!

When was the last time you laughed out loud? Has it been a while? That's because you are emotionally drained. When anyone is in a crisis such as a suffering marriage, they tend to become depressed quickly.

Take some time and think about what makes YOU happy. What do YOU like to do? Visit with friends, get a new outfit or pair of shoes? Take time out and get YOU back. By spending time on yourself, you will start to become happy again. When this happens, you will once again be able to love and be loved.

Have you ever noticed that people tend to be drawn to positive people? By your becoming more positive, it will rub off on your spouse, quite unintentionally.

This will open the door to taking other steps to save your marriage. The most important part right now is to focus on yourself. You are well worth the effort - and so is your marriage!

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Ten things that will make any marriage successful and fulfilling.

Marriage is a union of two adults, the Bible says "for this cause shall a man leave father and mother and cleave unto his wife and both shall become one flesh". Marriage is not a trial and error kind of relationship, it is not what you enter into unprepared for it is commonly said and believed that if you "fail to plan then you planned to fail". To make your marriage rewarding and fulfilling, take the following steps:

• Unconditional Love
• Open-ness
• Sincerity
• Supportive
• Commitment
• Trust
• Be faithful
• Be available
• Be appreciative
• Meet each other's needs... Make each other's heart fly.

Unconditional Love: Love one another unconditionally and let each partner know that he/she is loved. Talk about it and be conscious of your spouse's love always. Some couples think "she/he ought to know by now how much I love her /him" you are right. She/he knows that is why she/he wants you to say it often and on. There Is nothing wrong with waking her/him up early in the morning 4:30am, 5:00am to tell say "I just woke you up to tell you that I love you so much"? I tell you that if you do this, you will enjoy the best of your spouse. She/he will adore you like a king/queen and talk of your love at the rooftops. Secondly, don't wait until she/he "behaves well" before you tell or show her/him you love her/him; for this will mean that on the day she/he got out from the wrong side of the bed, you will keep your love to yourself. This is called "selfish love". The Bible instructs that the guys should love their wives as Christ loved the church. The church wasn't perfect and is still not perfect yet Jesus gave His life for her because of His love for her. Let us love like Jesus loved - unconditionally!

Open-ness: This is the act of being honest to one another and not hiding your feelings or any information from your spouse. I heard a story of a couple that their marriage crumbled like a pack of cards because the man discovered his wife lied to him about her age. She was forty-one years of age but told the man she was thirty-six years old. When asked to take his wife back, the young man said he doesn't know what else she may have lied to him about and that taking her in again will mean treating her as a stranger and he wouldn't want that. There is nothing that can hold a union together like open-ness. Don't have skeletons in your cupboard, expose them.

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Sincerity: There should be no falsehood in your relationship; you should be able to tell each other the truth always. If you are not feeling good about the way your spouse addressed you or handled a particular issue, don't swallow it hook, line and sinker brandishing a smiling face when inwardly you are boiling with rage. Talk about it- your feelings, your hurts, your plans et al. if there are issues, speak out and thrash them, don't sweep the dirt under a carpet for it won't make the room clean.

Supportive: Remember you are now one, don't keep acting like a bachelor or a spinster; support each other's goal and aspirations. Help each other's dream to come to pass. Bear each other's burden. The Bible says we should bear one another's burden; don't stand by watching your spouse sag under the weight of challenges while you are having a field day. Two-fold cord is not easily broken, when you are working together as a team, you will achieve much than when each person is doing his/her own thing. Bringing up your kids is equally successful when both of you are into it full time; it is not the woman's job or the man's assignment, it is for both of you.

Commitment: Be sure you are committed to that union. This is vertical and horizontal; horizontal to each other and vertical to God. As adults you are expected to carry out your responsibilities and obligations to each other with seriousness and sincerity. In the same vein as Christians, you are expected to keep your obligations towards God. In your union, I will advise you have a cause you are committed to, don't just exist rather live for something unique; don't follow the crowd.

Trust: Trust your spouse enough to let his/her decisions count. Don't compare your spouse with your siblings, your parents or even your colleagues. Don't believe just any story/rumour/complain you heard about him/ her. Stand with him/ her against external forces and influences, don't team up with those who see him/her as "no- good" no matter who they are. Remember she made a great sacrifice leaving her folks to pitch her tent with you, she even gave up her name and identity for yours; and he also made a great sacrifice to give you himself in totality. Both of you should look up to each other with none looking down on the other.

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Be Faithful and true to your union. For the man: Don't go after everything on skirts because it "seems like a man's world". Don't defile your marriage bed, don't go rekindling your "old flames" since the embers have gone off, let them remain off. Make your woman feel and know she is important to you, let her be the first to hear of your promotion, success, achievements et al. Gently, kindly and lovingly approach her on any changes you want her to make either in her looks or other issues. For the woman: to whom much is given much is expected, don't keep reminding him of your past partners; marriage is honourable and good when the bed is undefiled. Stick to the vows you made to each other the day you walked down the aisle and said " I do"

Be Available: always be there for each other and when you "unavoidably" won't be around, apologise and make it up the next time you have the opportunity. Importantly, guys, remember Important Dates -her birthday, your anniversary, the "kiss-time" (if you have any) and so. Don't just be there physically with that far away look indicating you are not there emotionally. When you don't respond to questions with affection, it means you are not paying attention. Availability is all about attention and affection, combine these two ingredients and you are the best spouse - everyone's dream partner!

Be Appreciative: don't joke with words like "thank you". It may not be much as in letters but it sure means much to your partner. Thank him/ her for the little things as well as the big things. If you don't appreciate, you and your union will depreciate. People like to be recognized for little things. It will not take anything from you but it will add plenty to your relationship. Thank her for the meal, thank her for doing your laundry, and thank her for taking great care of the children and for running the home smoothly in your absence. Ladies, thank him for working so hard to give your family the best of all goodies, thank him for his input with the kids et al. These words of gratitude and appreciation take little or nothing to offer but they build your relationship strong!

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Meet His/Her Needs; people have needs in the following areas: emotional, physical, social, spiritual and intellectual. In meeting his/her needs in these areas, you are giving him/ her the boost he/she needs to be confident, competent, important, wanted, accepted and adequate. As his/her needs are met especially intellectually and emotionally, his/her self- esteem is built stronger, so why not go ahead and meet his/ her needs today? Every woman wants her man to have a drive towards his career or calling; she is genuinely moved by what is driving the man more than what the man is driving. She needs her man to shield her from outsiders especially those trying to run her down so don't join that force or team up with them even if they are your parents and siblings. You are more related to this woman now than any other person, nobody else, not even your twin is referred to as your better-half or the bone of your bones but that was how Adam the first husband described his wife, Eve. Men love women who are always there for them, remember, girl, he is your first baby so take care of him...Make his/her heart fly; yes, you guessed right, love-making shouldn't be just a "hit and run" affair. Ensure he/ she enjoys it from start to finish. Ensure it is not monotonous either; this way when next you come knocking, he/ she will open for you with so much enthusiasm and excitement not just out of sheer obligation. The best and most beautiful things in life can only be felt and not touched; make him/her laugh when his/her heart cries, take him/her to higher heights when he/ she can't take a step on his/ her own, help him/ her set new goals when he/she thinks he/she is dying. Give her flowers that will produce orchids for her, give him that smile that will always make his day brighter and add springs to his steps. Give each other that beautiful experience that both of you won't forget in a hurry. Treat him/her right always and you will have the best of him/her at all times.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

Click here to save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.

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