My Husband Says He Doesn't Love Me Anymore Wants A Divorce: When Your Husband Says He Doesn't Love You

My Husband Says He Doesn't Love Me Anymore Wants A Divorce: When Your Husband Says He Doesn't Love You

When a marriage is on the brink of breakup, it is very difficult to restore fresh happiness. Still, stopping divorce could be achieved if the couples are made to understand the problems that had led to the deterioration of the marriage, unless marriage infidelities, particularly repeated acts of unfaithfulness, are the cause.

Basically, every couple should understand that a marriage relationship itself would not be an easy one due to the diverse natures, characters, and mental makeups of the partners to the marriage. As such, leading a happy married life itself would require sincere and conscious effort from both spouses to maintain harmony and understand the sentiments of each other.

If a marriage is not marred by marriage infidelity, then open discussions about the points of disagreement would be of great help in a happy marriage. In spite of sincere efforts, serious disagreements could arise to create a deep rift between the spouses. Then the only way to save a broken marriage is to seek expert counseling from professional psychiatrists. Proper advice and guidance could really help in stopping divorce. Along with such external assistance, deep internal analysis and self-introspection would also be required on the part of the affected couples. The most important tips to save a broken marriage and stopping divorce are provided here, though thousands of factors are involved in the maintenance of a happy marriage.

* Both spouses should sincerely commit themselves to mend their past mistakes and be resolute about not repeating them again
* The spouses should not indulge in any blame games but should try to calmly analyze the problems and sincerely try for solutions
* The couples should be clear about what is expected of the marriage and understand the areas of differences.
* Any matter could be uttered in a nice fashion or in a harsh and blunt manner. The former would help in having a happy married life and even save a broken marriage but the latter approach would fail in stopping divorce.

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At some point most couples will face marital problems, in a lot of cases they lead to divorce. There are however plenty of things that you can do to save your marriage when this happens. The first thing that you have to do is to look at your relationship and honestly assess whether or not it is worth saving.

The first consideration if you are trying to save your marriage is whether or not you are still in love with your partner. If you are not then you will have to seriously question whether it is worth staying together. There are people who stay in loveless marriages and often they can be quite happy, however in most cases unless there is a compelling reason to stay together it is probably best not to if the love is gone.

One of the reasons that you may want to remain married even if the love is no longer there is if you have children. Divorce is not easy for kids and a lot of couples will stay together for their benefit. While this may be in the best interest of the children you do have to think about what happens once they are grown. Divorce is hard enough at the best of times, if you wait until you are older it will be even more difficult to move on.

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Another consideration if you trying to determine if it makes sense to stay married is the financial aspect. People tend to think of marriage as being about love but make no mistake the practical realities are also important. Divorce is expensive and it could dramatically change your lifestyle. If you and your partner are both comfortable with the arrangement and are reasonably happy it may be worth staying in a less than perfect marriage.

One last consideration when you are trying to decide if it is worth trying save the marriage is what are the issues that are affecting it? You are going to have to look at the problems in your marriage that have led you to consider divorce and determine if they can be solved. If there is a chance that you and your partner can work things out then you should definitely give it a try. On the other hand if the problems are too big to be solved then it may well be that divorce is the only option.

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What men want in a woman is someone who is a realist. Now, I'm not talking about property (realtor) or realism (arts), I'm talking about a realist in the sense that they are realistic about their relationship with their man. There are several women in the world who float through life, never being fully aware of themselves, nor their man. They get married, simply for the thrill of marriage and wonder where it all went a few years down the track. Women who face reality not only stand to have more satisfying marriages, they also build stronger relationships with their husbands as well. Here are three situations where you have to face the facts.

1. Your man can leave/die at any moment.

I don't want to scare you, but your husband can die at any moment, like right now when you finish reading this sentence. As much as you want a man that you can rely on, you just never know.

That's why it's so important to be thankful and to always make the most of what you have all the time. If you truly, truly understand that every moment is precious, this feeling will be communicated across to your man and he will feel your love (which he will willingly reciprocate).

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2. Half of all marriages end up in divorce.

This is sadly another fact of life. People simply don't treat marriage with the respect that they used to do back in the day. Now I'm no old codger, but I didn't get married on a whim. I didn't go to Vegas and marry the first call girl that I saw.

Even if I didn't do that, there's a good chance that I might not make it with my wife down the track. Women who also face this fact appreciate their man for who they are, not who they think they should be.

3. You're Not Perfect.

This is a tough pill to swallow for a lot of women. There's nothing wrong with being the dominant one in a relationship, as long as it doesn't make you think that you're only the dominant one because you're "better" than he is.

Women who realize they aren't perfect constantly try to improve themselves. They are on a more level playing field with their husband, they respect themselves more, which means they also get more respect from their husbands. It's better for them, overall.

What men want in a woman is someone who is realistic. If they're realistic, they have more to get out of the relationship because they're more aware of what there is in the relationship in the first place.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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I was clueless about the word "help-meet" until I read it in a book prior to my marriage. Since that book was not a guide for wives but was more about who we are as women, I didn't get much information about how to be a help-meet.

Let me begin by quoting the Scripture where we can find the word help-meet, in relation to marriage.

And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him (Genesis 2:18).

The verses that follow speak a lot about being a help-meet.

19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

When we look at these two verses, we can see that God created the animals before the help-meet so that when the help-meet comes, she will have something to take care of and have dominion over, with her husband.

This shows that the role of the help-meet is to support her husband, with what God has already started in him, and not the other way around. Although the husband is called to support his wife, it is the role of the wife, as the help-meet, to meet the existing needs of her husband, and to help him fulfill what God has called him to do, a vision that God gave him long before he married you.

21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

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23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

These three verses above explain that we were created to walk side by side our husbands, not ahead of them or behind them. This is why we were called the help-meet.

In her book, CREATED TO BE HIS HELP-MEET, author Debi Pearl said that it is God's perfect will for us to be the help-meet that He has created us to be. This means that our first and primary calling as wives is to be the help-meet to our husbands. This calling comes before children, other family members, friends, work, and even ministry. Until we realize and embrace this primary call, we will never be at peace. We will be like fishes taken out of the sea or fish tank.

So many wives are frustrated, bitter, alone, and depressed because they have not embraced this calling as a help-meet. But how can they embrace such a calling if they don't even understand it? This is the reason why I am writing this article, to make you understand and eventually embrace this call.

As I've said, I myself didn't know anything about being a help-meet. No wonder I didn't have the fullness of peace and joy until I realized this. There I was seeking God for His perfect plan for me in ministry. I was asking Him to make my husband see what I was called to do. I was crying out to Him to change my husband's mind about certain things. I was pleading before God to make my husband understand the vision that He has given me.

I was a single, independent, self-sufficient single mom prior to my marriage. I had a big vision for my ministry. Prophets have prophesied over me that I will have a huge ministry. I was determined to make it happen. So I thought that my role as a wife was to fulfill the vision that God has given me, but this time, with the support of my husband. Isn't this the opposite of being a help-meet? But this is why it took a while for me to understand, more so embrace the calling of a help-meet.

And even after hearing from a marriage conference that my role as a help-meet is to support the vision that God has given my husband, I still thought I was to support him but still maintain my own ministry, separate from him.

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To add to this growing distorted concept of a help-meet, I met a lady apostle/preacher who told me not to let go of the vision that God has given me. She said that my vision came long before I met and married my husband, and so I have to fulfill that and not let go of it.

I believe that this is the same understanding of a lot of women leaders in the body of Christ. In fact, I've met several lady pastors whose husbands are not even co-pastors with them, and their husbands are not even at peace with it. Their husbands just can't do anything about it because their wives want to be pastors, preachers, or church leaders.

The only time (and I have a very strong conviction on this one) that a wife is allowed to preach and teach, is if she has the full blessings of her husband, because he believes that this is going to help the ministry and vision that God has given him.

I didn't understand this then, which was why I was struggling maintaining the balance of being submissive to my husband and still asserting my right to fulfill the vision that God has given me. Now I know that my primary calling is to be the help-meet that God has called me to be for my husband... to adapt to him and his vision... to subordinate to him and the vision that He has given my husband... and to support him through the skills and abilities that God has given me.

In embracing this great calling as a help-meet, my husband is realizing more than ever, what my gifts and abilities are. He is also seeing, more than ever, the vision that God has given me. He is also giving me more liberty now to exercise my gifts and put it to great use.

See that?

Our obedience to God with regards to His command to us, wives, to be the help-meets to our husbands is for our own good. As I always say, "If we do our part, God will do His part".

Let me end this with a post I did on Facebook recently...

I have been in ministry for a long time now. I've had the privilege of being a Communications Director of a church, and the head of a women's ministry. I've had the privilege of establishing a ministry for women in prison, police camps, and corporate offices. I've been given the privilege to preach to hundreds and thousands of people. Likewise, I've had the privilege of being interviewed at TBN. Yet, nothing compares to my ministry as a wife... as a help-meet. This for me is my greatest calling ever, more so because I am married to a king.

Now Listen Carefully-

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