My Husband Said He Cheated Because He Wanted Me To Desire Appreciate Him More: How To Fix Your Marriage When One Of You Had An Affair

Dealing with an affair is no easy task but luckily there are many resources out there to help you get over the affair and have a happy marriage. An affair is usually a symptom of something else going in the marriage that is making someone unhappy and so you need to deal with the affair, get over it and move on to work on your marriage. Here is how you can do that.

Step #1 Give yourself permission to heal.
Healing takes time but firstly you have to admit that you need to heal. You have been hurt and something has to be done to make things right in your heart. But you need to take the first step and admit that you need to heal in order to begin healing.

Step #2 Get ready to let go.
Letting go is the next big step but you can't do it unless you are prepared. Letting go means you won't let the incident hurt you anymore and that you won't bring it up as ammunition in other arguments in the marriage. When you are able to do this, you are ready to let go.

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Step #3 Change how you respond to your partner.
It is natural to think negatively when we see the person who cheated but you need to change how you think of them and how you respond. You need to be compassionate and fair. Take your time to heal but remember that you can also contribute to the destruction of your marriage in how you respond to the situation.

Step #4 Work on it everyday.
Getting over this will take a lot of time and effort. It is up to you to do it and make it work. Each day practice forgiveness and consciously make the effort to think positively until you can do it naturally.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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There are many reasons for why marriages begin to crumble at the seams. Many of which may have been building up over the years and have come to a head and others are of a more serious nature in which one of you has violated the trust of your partners. But, although there are many reasons as to why your marriage has reached this point, there isn't any reason to give up hope or think that it's impossible to save your marriage. You just have to know where to start.

If you want to begin making positive steps towards saving your marriage, you first need to take steps in ensuring that you're not going to damage it further along the way. Many times we defeat ourselves before we even begin to give saving our marriage the fighting chance it deserves. Not through any intentional purposes of our own but rather that we lack the knowledge of things we should avoid doing during this sensitive time.

Many of these things come naturally and you shouldn't beat yourself up if you've already made some of these mistakes. What matters is that you begin correcting them now. Some of the worst damage that you can do to your marriage during this time is letting your emotions get the best of you. We've all done it and most of us continue to do it to this day in every part of our life, but it's especially damaging during this time when your trying to save your marriage. The both of you are already emotionally charged, even more so than you've ever been and this leads to huge problems when trying to communicate how one another is feeling about the decisions you have both made during and as of late that concern your marriage.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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Learning how to sculpt your conversations and your actions right now is the difference maker. Flying off the handle, blowing up in each others face and overall not getting anywhere in your hopes to save your marriage isn't going to help either one of you, and if you've already been going down this path for some time then you already know, more of the same equals more of the same, bottom line.

This may sound strange, but sometimes it's even better to almost not be yourself. Meaning take a back seat to how you would normally respond or act. You already know that your spouse is going to push your buttons and in fact they're probably the best at it, so don't let them bring it out of you. It's only going to serve as further justification as to why the marriage isn't going to work, which is definitely opposite of where you want to be. Stay positive, regardless of how the situation may look. Avoid heated battles and learn to defuse them before they escalate to that point.

There are many other things you should learn to avoid as well. But, getting control over your emotions is an absolute must and it should be the starting point of your efforts to save your marriage. It's vital that you do, or any progress you make in saving your marriage will come tumbling down in the blink of an eye, because you never know what you're going to say or do if you're not in control, and one bad move could be the straw that breaks the camels back so to speak. Some things just can't be undone, and getting control of yourself now helps to prevent any of that from happening.

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Did you struggle to quit smoking or know someone who did? It may really not matter if you end up getting divorced, new research shows. The American Journal of Public Health and the American Psychologist has reported that divorce can take the same toll on your health as smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day. The Journal of Marriage and Family conducted an 8 year study in which they found that divorced women were more susceptible to cardiovascular diseases than men who were divorced.

Affects on Children

What is even more discouraging is the results of divorce on children. In a landmark study conducted by Scott Stanley and Frank Fincham at State University of New York at Buffalo in Couples Research Therapy Newsletter, children of divorce were 2-2.7 times more likely to reject faith and religious involvement. Children from divorced families were more likely to have lower education, financial and achievement levels than their parents or children from solid familial backgrounds.

In, "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce,'' by psychologist Judith Wallerstein, San Francisco State University psychology professor Julia M. Lewis and New York Times science correspondent Sandra Blakeslee, their 25 year research study concludes that divorce has long lasting effects on children all the way into adulthood. Fear and anxiety are common, and many adults are not even aware these issues are related to the divorce of their parents. Children of divorce are also more likely to become addicted to alcohol and drugs, as well, their study concludes.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

The Audacity of Respect

So what options are out there? You might not be happy in your marriage, or perhaps you feel unable to impact it. Very simple (but perhaps not easy) application of the love and respect principles taught by Emerson Eggerich has had a resoundingly positive effect on marriages. We see this in Daughters of Sarah, as women are encouraged to respect their husbands unconditionally, whether they deserve it or not. Husbands are commanded in Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her," because love does not come naturally to them. Wives are commanded to respect their husbands because respect does not come naturally to them.

A recent class member in Daughters of Sarah brought this to light when she said, "I can't believe what a difference respect makes in my marriage. I have been fighting for the leadership position in my home for over 25 years, and in the last 6 weeks, my marriage has taken a 180 degree turn - for the better. It's kind of comical; the influence I wanted to have is only mine once I got respect right!" We hear these stories time and time again. "I was done," says another graduate. "I was looking for a way out, and through the class, started respecting my husband. It's amazing how things have changed. It took a while, because I had taught him that I wasn't a 'safe place' and that he couldn't trust me, but 3 years later, things are much better."

What about you? Can you give the respect thing a try? Ask your husband for some ideas of ways to communicate respect to him. Then do them, stand back and watch things start to change.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

We all know that marriage is not always a bed of roses. Like everything else in life, it will have its very own ups and downs. Because of this relationships are complicated which is why you need to take action when yours is going through a rough patch. When times get so tough, divorce might be a terrible issue that may come into yours and your partners mind, but remember that it is not the only option. There are actually countless ways and means that can save your failing marriage, and now is the perfect time start if you are heading in that direction!

Of course, there is no guarantee that the techniques mentioned here will work for you 100% as outside factors regarding your problem will always make your situation unique. Nonetheless, it's always better to do something in order to try and fix the problem rather than just stand around, waiting to see if it will go away on its own (Hint: it wont!). So without further ado, here are some tips in saving a failing marriage:

- Recognize the signs of trouble - Most often, big problems arise when both individuals fail to see or ignore the signs that are right before them. Signs are there for you to see and recognize, pretending that they don't exist will only make things worse. Do not just think your partner is going through a phase as this is just burying your head in the sand!

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

- Talk it over - Talking the problem over could be the hardest part of saving a marriage in trouble. If you're really bent on fixing things between you and your spouse however, communication will be one of the most essential elements that you need to master. Remember that for this to be successful, both of you will need to be able to listen to what the other has to say and are willing to accept opinions or criticisms positively. Talk about what the both of you can do to change the situation; find real and lasting solutions. This will be the only real way of dealing with whatever problem is affecting you as of the moment.

- Act - Once a solution has been found, work together to make it happen. You and your spouse will need to be ready to do whatever it will take in order to get things right back on track. The process won't be easy, but as long as there's a mutual agreement between couple to work towards fixing the relationship, achieving normalcy or balance will be very much attainable.

If you want to save your failing marriage, now will be the best time to start. Don't just wait for things to cool down because tendencies are, they'll only get worse. Take action and talk things over, find solutions, while this may not be guaranteed to work for every couple, it will always be better than doing nothing, and waiting for the inevitable end to come.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.

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