My Husband Rarely Makes Love To Me: My Husband Rejects Me In Bed

Can you count the number of times you've had sex with your husband in the last year on one hand? Are you longing for those days early in your marriage when everything was exciting and new? Are you looking for ways to really spice up your marriage? If so, please read on for these tips on how you can spice up your marriage, and avoid having a sexless marriage.

Many couples report that they are having sex less frequently as their marriage continues. For some couples, the sex completely stops. This can be for many reasons: jobs and kids are keeping the couple too busy and tired for sex, their sex drive is reduced, or there is an affair going on. The fact is that you don't have to suffer a sexless marriage. There are many things that you can do to spice up the marriage and get it back on track. I've given you just a few tips that you can use.

1. You have to be emotionally close to be physically close.

Contrary to popular belief, men do have emotions, and they do want to feel emotionally close to you. If your husband doesn't feel emotionally close to you, he won't be as eager to be physically close. Make sure that you are communicating with your husband how you are feeling, and let him tell you how he's feeling. Listen well. If he had a bad day at work, maybe he just wants a long massage and then to go to sleep. Communication is key. It's painful, but you need to bring up unresolved arguments and fix them. If you're both still holding something against the other person, it's going to be hard to get emotionally close to them, and harder to have sex with them.

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2. You need to have some variety in your marriage.

Many couples begin their marriage exploring new and exciting things sexually, but as the marriage goes on, they lose that sense of adventure in the bedroom, and fall into a predictable pattern. Although that's nice and can be comfortable for you, it can also become boring. Perhaps all your husband wants is to do something different. Try buying some sexy lingerie to model for him, or trying new positions. You might also consider visiting him at his workplace, if he has a private office with a lock. You don't have to do anything crazy or something that you're not comfortable with, but you should definitely make an effort to try new things every once and a while to really spice up your marriage.

3. You need to build him up.

Men like to know that they are still that handsome, thoughtful, wonderful man that you fell in love with. So, remind him that he is. Tell him how good his new haircut looks, and that you're proud of him for working so hard to provide for you. It's important for your husband to know that you really do appreciate him. That way, he'll feel more connected to you, and be way more open to the ways that you want to spice up your marriage. Remember that communication is the key to intimacy.

If you follow these 3 simple tips, you'll be well on your way to spicing up your marriage, and will help to prevent so many of the negative things that come in when your marriage becomes a sexless one.

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The successful marriages need support systems, common values, and shared aspirations in addition to love and mutual understanding.

The increasing rate of Divorce and the tendency of living together have effected in broken families and bothered children. The human society developed and refined the institution of marriage over a long period of time. Although scientific achievements have provided the World with all kinds of facilities, the human beings have not changed at a basic level.

The basic human instincts such as joy, jealousy, love, hate, fear, pride and intolerance have not changed over the millenniums. The people still need secure family environments and friends to share life experiences.

The challenge for our times is to maintain the marriage steady. I believe it can be done and most of the marriages can be successful. A real successful marriage is a base for a stable society. We must be obliged it to our future generation to provide them an untroubled childhood with enjoyable memories.

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Good economic conditions do not mean that only rich people can have a secure marriage. The people should spend only what they can afford. This is one of the major causes of damage in marriages at all income levels. Some people at a lower income level have much better marriages as compared to the rich and wealthy people. The key is to keep the expenses within limits for both partners.

Small misunderstandings can result in opposing differences. The common response is to find equal and similar mistake in the partner and reminding that he or she is even a bigger wrongdoer. The greatest reason in many of such instances is that both partners are not giving up any ground and differences continue to grow. This approach if avoided can result in a sweet relationship. Forgiving and accepting apology leads to better understanding.

Marriage is a union of two souls comprising of complete bodies, mind and souls. Today we are more concerned about the bodies forgetting about mind and souls. This is the greatest repulse that does not allow the union to be complete. We are treating relationship like mechanical machines which can hardly involve emotions. It's all about your relationship and affection for your partner along with the great mix of sincerity and dedication.

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When you have made the decision to contact a marriage therapist or counselor, you'll want to consider a few things.

The concern here is, "How to choose a marriage counselor or marriage coaching expert."

The success of your therapy experience will relate straight to your compatibility with your therapist.

There are few things to think about before you contact a marriage counselor.

- Ask yourself why you are seeking advice from a marital relationship therapist.

- Define your issues as best as you can in order to interact them to your prospective therapist.

- Detail exactly what you wish to acquire from therapy.

- Is it important to you that a marriage counselor recognize with the concerns at hand?

- Do you choose a marriage therapist that is wed? Is it crucial that your marriage counselor has raised kids?

- Do you have a choice as to a female or male marriage counselor?

- How far are you going to commute to a marriage therapist's workplace?

- What hours are you offered to devote to counseling sessions?

Choose what you can afford to pay a marriage counselor. There are many concerns you may want to ask a marital relationship therapist with regards to fees, such as:

- How much does the therapist charge per session?

- Does the therapist charge inning accordance with income (moving scale)?

- Is there a policy concerning getaways and missed or canceled sessions? Is there a charge?

- Will your medical insurance cover you if you see this therapist?

- Will the therapist want you to pay after each session, or will you be billed regularly?

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Questions to ask in Family Therapy or Marriage Professional Coaching

Other concerns to bear in mind while searching for a marital therapist you are comfortable with include:

- The number of times a week will the therapist want to see you?

- For how long is a normal session?

- How long does the therapist anticipate treatment to last?

- What are some of the treatment approaches likely to be used?

- Does the therapist accept phone calls at the workplace or at home?

When your best marriage advice therapist goes on vacation or out of town or otherwise unavailable, is there somebody else you can call if an emergency situation develops?

It's best to consider his/her credentials

This led us to open a discussion about even the best marriage advice therapists' scholastic degrees are different. The kind of qualifications may be of value to you throughout your search for the best marriage counselor.

Social Workers use social work theory, knowledge, techniques and principles to boost the functioning or restore (social, psychosocial) of people, groups, households, and couples, in addition to organizations and neighborhoods.

An MFCC therapist has actually earned a Master of Science degree in counseling with a specialization in marriage, family and child issues.

MFCC's are trained to comprehend issues from both specific and household systems point of views; develop intervention skills; incorporate cultural, age-specific, and gender-respectful understanding in theory and practice; and deal with medical, ethical, legal and basic expert elements of their practice.

A marriage and family therapist has actually earned a master's degree in social work with a particular emphasis on relationships. This professional has an interest in who everyone is within the context of their household, both present and past.

Marital therapy applies healing methods and focuses on issues of human development, interaction skills, and interpersonal relationships.

The LCSW is a state licensure classification for practitioners with a master's or postgraduate degree in social work. Scientific Social Work, a practice specialized of Social Work, uses social work theory, knowledge, approaches, and principles to boost the functioning or restore of individuals, couples, groups, and families, along with communities and organizations.

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Call and search the internet Around

Once your search has actually been narrowed to a handful of best marriage advice professionals, pick up the phone or sign up with one on the internet and go for therapy online in the comfort of your own home.

Many therapists will have a short phone consultation or an email questionnaire with you and answer most questions you might have. If you and the potential marital relationship counselor might work well together, the phone consultation is a fantastic way to identify.

Ask yourself why you are seeking the best marriage advice. Is it crucial to you that a marital therapist be familiar with the concerns at hand?

Is it important to you that your marital therapist has raised his/her own kids? Once your search has actually been narrowed to a handful of marriage counselors, take action and get started.

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Did you know that your attitude in life could make or break your marriage? It's true. Your attitude tells you what to do in certain situations and how to behave with certain issues in your marriage. Are you carrying around the right attitude for your marriage? This article will explore the top five reasons why you might be carrying around the "not so right attitude".

1. Do you have a positive attitude about God? Attitudes reflect what you feel about God. Meaning your whole outlook on life can be transformed into a positive experience if you have a deep and meaningful relationship with your Creator. You do this by getting to know Him and by "wanting" to understand God's wisdom filled ways more than your ways.

You ought to be loving God with all of your heart, mind and soul and God will give you the faith and confidence you need to be loving and compassionate to your spouse, friends, family, and associates.

That's all about it! A simple exchange takes place between you and God. When you trust in Him, He'll then give you the wisdom you need for your life and marriage.

2. Do you let others dictate what your attitude will be? Many of us do. We listen to the negative attitudes of others and it rubs off on us. This is what happens in marriage when couples become entangled in a heated argument.

These kinds of arguments usually don't get anywhere because they are being played off with bad attitudes. Your spouse says something negative about you and you in turn look for something bad to say about them. What needs to be done is to start thinking positive about God in your life and marriage, and your negative attitude will vanish from your mind!

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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3. Is your attitude in marriage consistent with your actions? In other words, your mind and heart must know, see, and feel the same way, not in contradiction to each other or you will come off as a hypocrite.

If you try and be something that you are not, it will eventually come out in your actions. Your heart has to feel what you say, and you mind must know what it is your heart wants. Otherwise, you might speak things that are not true to your spouse and come off as hypocritical with them.

This happens because you are getting the wrong messages sent to you by the culture of society. The culture of today believes it is OK to lie to your spouse and to commit adultery, but what does your heart say? We need to put 100% attitude into our marriage by loving our marriage with all our heart, mind and soul.

The same thing is true with our attitude about God. He wants us to love him not just with our mind, but with our heart and soul too.

These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men. Matthew 15:8-9 (Where is the relationship?)

4. Is your attitude about your marriage causing you to sin? Are your thoughts and feelings getting in the way of your actions? Have you taken your eyes off the spiritual Christ for your marriage? Or maybe you "need" the spiritual Christ for your marriage.

To see your marriage in the positive light, and to understand why some things happen the way they do, or why you might feel a certain way all comes down to what you believe is right and good for your marriage.

All of these things take the right attitude to be able to understand them with the spiritual clarity they deserve. The right attitude isn't afraid to love God wholly. The right attitude is not afraid to be humble and meek in front of others. The right attitude is the spiritually happy attitude.

If you do not trust God for the guidance and that your marriage needs, who are you going to trust? Yourself? Society? Culture? What do they know? Where does their judgment for "your marriage" come from?

God wants you to love him enough that you will build your marriage upon His foundation of wisdom and truth.

Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mind and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is alike a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell with a great crash. Matthew 7:24-27

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5. Do you know how to recognize God's positive results in your marriage?

A good tree always bares good fruit, which becomes noticeably apparent to everyone. When you finally give up "your way" for "God's way" your attitude begins to change, and you will start to feel better about your self. You become a tree of abundance for your marriage.

Your whole outlook and position in the marriage will transform into an optimistic and constructive way of thinking. This happens because you have trusted in God for the care of your marriage. Your marriage now stands on the foundation called the rock. The rain and winds came, and blew dangerously against your house, but your attitude saved it from falling.

6. Do you know how to keep allowing God's life force in your marriage? Never lose sight of who you are. You are a child of God and God is your source, not society nor culture but The Omnipotent God! Open your eyes and start seeing with the wisdom that God has given you.

a. Imitate Christ's forgiving attitude

b. Let God's love guide your life

c. Let the peace of Jesus rule in your heart

d. Keep God's word in your heart at all times

This is the wisdom Gods children inherit when they have trusted in Him. Your positive attitude and outlook on life can now love God with all your heart, mind and soul. And because you have shown you love God by trusting in Him, he has given you the spiritually positive attitude for your marriage.

Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Galatians 3:12-14

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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