My Husband Makes Me Feel Suicidal: I'm Not Happy In My Marriage What Should I Do
If you are not happy in marriage, don't worry because you are not alone. Almost half of all marriages end up in divorce. What started out to be great dreams of owning a home, having children and living in happiness has turned into a nightmare. If you don't want this to happen to you then you are going to need to learn specific strategies to prevent it.
A happy marriage doesn't happen overnight. If you are not happy in marriage it's usually because your not working hard enough at it. People who have been happy in their marriage for any length of time have had to work at it. There are always going to be disagreements and fights, but a strong marriage can overcome these things without any difficulties.
Excellent communication is probably the most important thing when it comes to a successful marriage. The does not mean that there are never disagreements. There just has to be some kind of common ground in order to listen to what your partner is saying without judging them. Which bring me to my next point. Love and respect. Love and respecting one another will put the marriage on a solid foundation to work off of. Without it, the marriage is doomed.
Once you learn how to treat each other right, having a successful and happy marriage is not that hard to accomplish. Show that you care and learn what's important to your spouse. What attracted you to them in the first place and why? Making a marriage work takes time. This is not going to happen the same day. Be patient and things will come together.
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We all grew up with the myth of the perfect marriage. Just think back to the movies you watched as a child and you will remember that everyone lived happily-ever after. Even while you cozy up to one of today's box office hits, popcorn in hand, when couples argue they usually resolve their issues and return to their picture-perfect lives in roughly two hours.
This "Happily-Ever-After" syndrome causes many couples to experience much grief, as it has filled us with unrealistic ideas about the way that healthy couples should interact when the going gets tough. And if you haven't bought into these picture-perfect stereotypes from the movies, you still might see your relationship as falling short as you compare your marriage to that wonderfully, affectionate couple down the street who seem to never fight. The couple that goes out on regular date nights while their model children behave perfectly toward their babysitter. Never mind the fact that your stagnant sex life pales in comparison to the wild sex you've heard your friends talking about.
Don't fall into the trap of judging your relationship based on what you know on the surface about another couple!When you compare your marriage to someone else's, you do not know the difficult circumstances or challenges that are unique to them. When you play the comparison game, you also automatically overlook your own strengths, your partner's strengths, and the special qualities that already exist within your relationship - let alone the wonderful characteristics that brought you two together in the first place.
Being in relationship with another is a challenging experience, but also one that is full of reward. All couples have periods of difficulty, but every relationship has positive attributes that can be built upon. However, if you hold the expectation that your marriage should be perfect, or that you should never disagree with your partner, you will be setting yourself up for disappointment. You will also rob your relationship of the joys that come from learning how to navigate the bumps in the road.
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Here are 5 Tips to help you shake the feeling that your marriage is flawed or unworkable:
1. Remember there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. We do not have Hollywood scriptwriters feeding us lines and writing happy endings for our lives. We are imperfect human beings who choose other imperfect humans with whom to move through life.
2. Remember that different things work for different relationships. What may help your best friend's marriage may not be the most appropriate fix for your relationship. Comparing your relationship to anyone else's can leave you feeling like your relationship doesn't measure up.
3. Take the time to look at what does work in your relationship. Instead of focusing on every negative trait your partner displays, focus on his or her endearing qualities. What strengths does each of you bring to the relationship to help navigate life's challenges?
4. Acknowledge that all relationships require care and maintenance if your goal is to create a deeper bond. Through counseling, you can learn how to work as a team so that you can communicate more joyfully and effectively with one another and reconnect after a disagreement in healthier ways.
5. Celebrate your relationship! No matter how demanding your life may be, schedule the time to enjoy one another. A simple date (even if held in your living room once the children are asleep) is vitally important to re-establishing a positive connection with your partner in your over-scheduled, busy life.
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If you feel your marriage is failing the chances are you're not communicating with your partner, or your communication is in the form of continuous arguments.
The reasons for the disintegration of a marriage are varied, but there are things you can do to try to solve the problems that have gradually made the partnership a miserable one.
- Talk to each other. Ask each other what they dislike about things in the marriage and see how they can be resolved. Discuss problems sensibly and try to solve them together. Talk and most of all listen. You may not like what you hear, but if you're open with each other, you're on the first step to solving the problems.
- Don't suffocate your partner. Everyone needs their own space. If you need to know everything they're doing, where they've been, who they've seen, it can be extremely claustrophobic. Being constantly worried about what your partner's up to can destroy a relationship very quickly.
- Support each other. No matter what problems arise in a marriage, by supporting each other through it you will grow closer and the problems will not overtake your lives.
- Compromise. Today that is almost seen as a rude word, but compromise is important in any relationship. It means you love someone enough to forego your own particular needs from time to time in order to create a happy environment. This has to be done from both sides, and it will help to give you a good basis from which to move forward in the marriage.
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- Discipline. Discipline in the way you look after yourself and keep yourself looking as attractive as possible. Keeping the home as a place of warmth and welcoming when you get home at night makes such a difference as to how you both perceive each other. It can be achieved and is well worth the effort no matter how tired you may be at the end of the day.
- Don't let your children rule your marriage. However much you both love your children they should not dominate your home to the extent that you and your partner never get time for each other. Sharing things together as a family is essential, but at the end of the day it should be time for you and your partner to sit and talk about things together.
- Make time for each other and don't take one another for granted. No-one knows what tomorrow may bring, so make the most of what you have today. Remember, each day can be lived in utter misery or happily, the choice is yours. Let tomorrow take care of itself and enjoy each other today.
- Keep your interests alive. Don't become boring. There are wonderful things to see and do in the world, so participate in them as much as possible, both together and apart. Then you can come together at the end of the day and talk about them, keeping your interest in each other alive.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.
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Marriage involves building of relationship between two families and not just two individuals. Hence, when in a troubled relationship, do not hesitate to take help from the family and extended family of your spouse because they could probably know better what exactly are the expectations of your spouse which may not be aware of. However, if your spouse wants to give a deaf ear to what they say or even what you have to say, then it may seem that ending the relationship is the only option that is available to you.
It is believed that for leading an emotionally satisfying life and to be really successful in life, you need a spouse who is totally committed to you, which can be possible through the institution of marriage. Once you are married, you know what married life is like- however, if the same marriage has to end into an unhappy ending like divorce/ separation, you should know the dire consequences of the same. It may so happen that in case you get divorced, you may have to stay all by yourself for the rest of your life - which is sad.
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It has been seen that as years go by in a marriage, the uniqueness and the novelty of the entire process is lost. Sometimes this leads to souring relation that can culminate in divorce. One thing that could be done to prevent such a situation is letting your spouse know how independent you can be and giving each other some time to contemplate and think as to where things are going wrong. This self-realization will surely help save the marriage.
Besides the space and distance you give each other starts to attract both partners closer again. Pretty soon the thoughts of divorce are replaced by attempt to attract each other and that is what will save the marriage.
Even if both spouses love each other sincerely, at times they might find themselves getting more and more distant from each other and getting close to a divorce. But like me, you too can take some steps into saving your marriage and turning it into a satisfying relationship.
Now Listen Carefully-
Take 2 minutes to visit the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. Yes, you can indeed save your marriage no matter how hopeless the situation seems. Take the right step now and live to enjoy a blissful marriage. I strongly urge you to visit the next page- Click Here
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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.
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