My Husband Is Miserable In Our Marriage: My Husband Is Unhappy With His Life - Living With A Miserable Husband

Consider this article your marriage problem how-to guide. I hate divorce and will do everything I can keep a couple from divorce. Divorce breaks hearts, and it destroys the children and their home.

You do not have to be a victim of divorce!

These are marriage relationship principles that can change any problem marriage into a happy, loving relationship. There is only one catch, you have to live by them. You have to do them. You have to put them into practice.

If you and your spouse can work on these together, great! If you are the only one willing to do what it takes to resolve your marriage problems, go for it! I have seen a multitude of couples go from troubled marriages to great ones because one spouse did the right thing. Eventually the other followed.

Five Steps For Solving Marriage Problems

Here is my brief "marriage problems how-to" outline. I guarantee that if you put these five steps into practice, you will see positive changes...and they usually happen pretty quick:

Step 1: Examine yourself first. Ask yourself, "What am I doing to improve my marriage and to make my spouse's life a happier one?" Also ask, "What things do I repeatedly do that I know displeases my spouse?"

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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Step 2: Think of as many tangible ways as you can to show (without words) your spouse that you love him or her. This means you will be doing things that make your spouse happy. Now begin doing one kind, thoughtful thing every day. This will do wonders for your relationship.

Step 3: If you know you have irritated, been harsh with, or criticized your spouse (especially in front of others) ask for forgiveness. If you have been doing these things for a long time, it may take a while and lots of lovin' before your spouse really believes that you are sorry. But that's okay, the rewards will be great.

Step 4: Spend some time thinking about your spouses good points. You are looking for things that you can compliment your spouse for. If you have been in the habit of criticizing your spouse, you may have a hard time thinking of good things to say. Criticism can kill a marriage fast, but words can heal the scars.

Step 5: After you have done the above for three days or more, it's time for some daily "I love you's." "I love you's" are reserved for last because if your love isn't seen, your words will mean nothing.

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Your marriage is on the rocks. However you make a decision not to go ahead with the divorce. Both you and your spouse have invested too many years and too much love in each other to see it come to an end. All you want to do now is to find ways on how to save your marriage.

You have tried everything that you can think off on your own. You know you cannot do it alone, yet you are not sure where you need to go or look for advice other than your own head, which at this moment feels like exploding. You are crying and shouting "I need help to save my marriage, Please!"

Go For Marriage Counseling!

Almost every person I know who is having marriage problems get this advice from one person or another: "Have you thought of talking to a marriage counselor?" If you seriously think about this suggestion, it is not a bad idea.

A professional marriage counselor is trained to help couples solve their marital problems. With their vast years of working experience in dealing with different types of marriage problems and couples, it is a good course of action to take.

However, is most cases, one spouse will be reluctant to go because of a strong believe that the marriage cannot be saved. If you are faced with such a problem, do not give up easily. Continue talking with your spouse and convince him. However, avoid begging or even pressuring.

Go To Online Forums!

I love the online forums. You can get opinions and different viewpoints from various people and yet keep your identity anonymous. However, do lower your expectations in getting a workable solution to help you identify the root of your marriage problems. You might end up getting confused with all the well meaning advice though.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Read Self-help Books!

There are plenty of guide books available to help couples work through their marriage problems. Most of the self-help books available are created by marriage counselors who are highly experienced.

Talk To Friends or Family Members!

Ask around and find friends who have managed to avoid divorce. This is not the time to be embarrassed. Talk to them. Listen and get ideas.

Consult your elders because they can be a goldmine when seeking advice on working through your marriage troubles. They have more experience and have gone through ups and downs in their marriage.

The only drawback when you seek your friends or family members for advice is the limitation in their own personal experiences. Do take into consideration that what worked for them might not yield the same result for you.

The marriage problems between you and your spouse will never go away unless you find a solution. If you believe that by keeping quiet, the marriage will get better, than you are deluding yourself. Just hoping one day an angel will drop in from heaven to help you save your marriage, is not enough. You need to decide and act fast the course of action you must take. Your marriage is worth saving and the longer you delay, your marriage problems gets more difficult to solve. Remember, work at resolving the problem and promotes reconciliation.

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Taking care of your marriage is an extremely important thing and you need to know how to do this in order to start getting back to where you need to be as far as your relationship is concerned. If you feel that your marriage is in trouble, then start by examining why you think this is so. What is different now than in the beginning when you first got married and what has changed? This is a very important question to ask yourself when trying to come up with a useful answer as to why your marriage is failing. This article will give you some good information on what to do when you need to start turning your marriage around now.

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You can start off by learning the art of communication. For many people it may seem like a relatively simple thing, just talk and let the other person have a turn, however there is a little bit more to it than just that. Communicating well with your partner can mean the difference between a marriage going towards divorce and a marriage that is healthy and thriving. By communicating, I mean of course truly listening to what your partner has to say, not simply waiting for your turn to speak like so many of us tend to do when we have conversations with others.

When speaking yourself, you should always remember to be aware of what you are saying and the consequences of those words. By making sure you articulate yourself in the most intelligent way, you can ensure that your partner won't become upset or angry. Misunderstandings in conversations can happen often but you can also avoid them by being thoughtful when you speak instead of simply saying the first thing that comes out of your mouth. If you remember the golden rule of communication then you can begin seeing amazing results in your own marriage and living a much happier and healthier life now.

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Have you ever had to deal with a jealous husband or wife? Most marriages at some time or another go through a period of mistrust and jealousy when their spouse does something to merit mistrust. Maybe they flirted or maybe they had an affair or it could be that they didn't do anything at all to warrant distrust.

More often than not when a spouse is jealous of the other without merit it means they do not trust them selves. If they don't trust them selves they usually are jealous, suspicious, controlling, and insecure. This can be a living nightmare for the spouse who has to take this sort of abuse. But it doesn't have to be like this.

Ask your self. Why am I jealous? Why do I not trust my spouse? What have they done to merit my suspicions of them? Maybe you have good reason to feel the way you do. But more than likely your misgivings about your spouse have gotten out of hand. We need to be honest with our self about the actions we take in life. The heart of the matter is, we either trust our spouse or we don't, there is no in between here.

Where does trust come from? Having trust for your spouse is not just a feeling but an action as well. It is through our actions that we show our spouse that we trust in them. It means we feel confident and assured enough to regard them with our trust. Trust is actually a great virtue of character that a person holds.

Everyday and everywhere the issue of trust comes up, not just in marriage. Sometimes we just need to trust people otherwise we might not accomplish our goals in life, or believe with the faith that we are supposed to. There might be times when we will need to regain back trust for someone who has hurt us and this entails that we hold the virtue of trust within our character.

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In marriage, unless otherwise merited, trust should already be an established commitment by both spouses. Without trust and faith in marriage there would be so much insecure behavior floating around such as, distrust, doubt, suspicions, lying, jealousy, possessiveness, and control issues that divorce would even start to sound good. Divorce over the issue of jealousy and mistrust?

It is important that couples get to the bottom of why a spouse feels suspicious of the other. I can tell you what I think and you'll probably shrug it off. But I have to tell you anyway. When we do not know who we are, we have no purpose or connection to the source of who we are, we tend to live upon our own feelings, ideas, beliefs, and such; those things become our purpose, which is to gratify self. We don't have any real wisdom and understanding as to why our feelings make us feel bad or why we do the things we do.

In a peapod we are connected to self and what our feelings tell us, and disconnected from our source and what our source tells us. But our source is where our life giving spiritual food and water come from. Our source is where we learn to grow out from the selfish person we are and into the loving person we were meant to be.

The inability to trust our spouse stems from the lack of Christ in our life. It is really that simple. We don't have to be religious fanatics to be the loving people God meant for us to be. What we do need to do though is accept and allow Jesus Christ into our life by whatever means is easiest for us. What's so hard about that?

Here is how it works. You give Jesus your vices and He will then give you the virtues of His nature. The fruits we bear come from the living spiritual Christ in our life. In other words a person's moral fiber originates from what he believes, and what he does with those beliefs.

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There are many great virtues a man can live by, and there are many bad vices a man can live by. What I'm trying to say is if you mistrust your spouse and often feel possessive and jealous over them it is because of your own insecurities taking over your mind. This doesn't have to happen.

Where do insecurities come from? They don't come from God that is for sure and they aren't a fruit of the spiritual self either. They come from self. If we doubt self, we will ultimately doubt others as well. If I feel bad about who I am, I will often be critical, envious, judgmental and jealous of others. These are the insecurities that we create in our own mind.

It is not fair that we radiate our insecure behavior upon those we love. That is why God has given us a most special gift called the Holy Spirit. This is Christ's Spirit within us. We have the choice. We can either choose to lean on our own understanding for guidance and behave selfishly, or we can grow out from the vices of self and become one with Jesus Christ. Jesus is the virtues of character that I have been talking about.

[The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the life. I warn you as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness, gentleness ands self control.] Galatians 5:19-22

The question we ought to ask our self then is would I rather doubt my spouse and feel bad about my self and marriage, or trust my spouse and feel good about my spouse, my self and my marriage? We have choices.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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