My Husband Hurt Me Emotionally: My Husband Is Emotionally Abusing Me

Did you know that within the marriage relationship and marriage issues both husband and wife either bear the wholeness of the One-Mind, or instead of separation from wholeness which is what often leads to infidelity in marriage?

How to save a relationship is in understanding that constant healing is a part of everyday life as humans in this world.

The ego-based human mind since the symbolic Garden of Eden has been living under constantly separating thought from the One Mind of Creation-- God, and continues to fragment to this day.

Marriage is God's conduit for love and wholeness.

It is meant to be in this world a safe harbor where a female and a male while in this world may be united and whole as a reflection or glimpse of our real Home-

- Heaven.

It is really difficult to have these glimpses of Home-- love and wholeness, when you are at odds with your spouse. Conflict drains our psychological and innovative energies.

Regretfully, many husbands and wives seem like they are sleeping with the opponent instead of with the oneness beyond the body which we really share.

How to save a relationship or fixing a broken marriage means understanding marriage is a reflection of wholeness of mind within our Creator.

When a couple is on the same page, so to speak, they are displaying the wholeness of the Creation within the One-Mind of God.

Okay, now you have the basic idea of the marital relationship while we pass through time in this world, how to stop divorce and other marriage issues marital relationship needs a plan.

You must decide, when and for all, are you going to commit to honoring wholeness-- our real Home-- Heaven, through your marriage.

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Let's move on if you are seeing what I mean here.

If you're making a plan to improve or begin fixing a broken marriage it's best to begin on the right foot.

Even if it is surviving an affair it needs taking obligation for the negative, wrong-minded things you have contributed to your marriage without justifying yourself or blaming your spouse.

Admitting to as a starting point for healing or undoing the separated mind can be a turning point in our lives.

It suggests we make a mindful shift as a contract, we may say, with wholeness of mind, which IS God, about healing our human projections of separation.

When we can let go of the idea of the body as who we truly are, thoughts of wholeness prevail over thoughts of separation.

The Course in Miracles states, "For nothing that you value here do you value wholly, and so you do not value it at all."

Surely while in this world we will have many thoughts based on projections and assumptions that are the ingredients of separation.

But when we can have a higher basis of reflective thought wholeness leads the way during our time in this world.

When we do this, wholeness is the value of God that gives us the power to accomplish that.

The Course in Miracles further states, "In Heaven is everything God values, and nothing else. Heaven is perfectly unambiguous. Everything is bright and clear, and calls forth one response."

A few of the things you might wish to consider admitting are:

- The ways which you have not trusted and honored your own inner depths of oneness of mind.

- I mean the ways you have not been aligned to your true Reality, the consequences of your choices to you, your partner and your marriage.

Exercising real humility is a crucial part for how to save a relationship or fixing a broken marriage.

Making acknowledgement of your human ego-based thoughts of projections rather than denying the ego, will shine light that causes projection to fade away.

Acknowledgement of the ego getting in the way can go a long way in keeping our hearts caring and flexible to our spouse and commitment to wholeness.

The next step for how to save a relationship is making a plan for understanding your partner's essential needs.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

You also must end up being intentional about fulfilling those needs.

When you are meeting his/her crucial emotional needs, your partner will feel more linked and in love with you.

Regular prayer or learning how to do mindfulness meditation certainly is quite effective for healing marriage issue.

Meditate and pray, going within, and see that God shows His love and loyalty to your spouse through you. Prayer is how we experience the individual relationship-- our interconnectedness with our Creator.

The Course in Miracles teaches us that, this "interconnectedness is the Christ Mind, and is what Jesus was here to show us.

Not that he had it and we do not, but rather that deep within we are all the Christ that is the Oneness of Creation.

It means no one being split or separate apart.

A marriage that reflects this image of wholeness-- this 'interconnectedness' I am speaking of, is a loving and safe marriage. For that reason your marital relationship must be a refuge for both you and your spouse.

That's why a strategy for how to save a relationship must deal with conflict.

Your marital relationship can be free from condemnation, contempt, attitudes and defensiveness. It is not, however, a marital relationship that is totally free from conflict.

Your fixing a broken marriage plan requires specific objectives and goals that are written down. Written goals are effective. They place a strategy into motion.

Next, let's begin discussing keeping your marriage away from ever having to begin surviving an affair.

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When a couple faces marital troubles, there are a number of things they can do to try to work things out between themselves. Sometimes, all it takes is having a little bit extra patience as you both work through the tough time together. At other times, it can feel like nothing in the world can get the two of you to see eye-to-eye.

When looking to outside the marriage for a little help, some couples turn to self-help books, audio recordings, or seminars. Others enlist a counselor to help get them through the tough times.

However, when the idea of counseling first comes up, it is common for one or both members of the couple to question whether counseling is really an effective solution for making improvements in the marriage.

If you are wondering, "How effective is counseling for marriages?", here are 5 insights that can help you make the right decision about counseling:

1. Many couples never consider counseling as a way to work on their marital problems:

There are a lot of married couples who would never in a million years consider seeking marriage counseling. After all, counseling can feel a bit threatening. It can be uncomfortable to allow a complete stranger into the very personal issues associated with your marriage.

2. Once the idea comes up, usually one spouse wants to try it more than the other one does:

However, once the couple explores the idea a bit more, usually one of the two will take an interest in counseling before the other one does. Once that spouse is convinced that counseling is the answer, sometimes they will try to convince the other one to give it a try.

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3. Counseling is most effective when both spouses take part:

Of course, the effectiveness of counseling is much greater when both spouses not only take part, but they at the same time hold a very positive attitude about the experience.

4. It helps when the spouses hold the belief that counseling can help them:

In fact, counseling has been shown to be much more effective when both members of the marriage hold the belief that it could at least potentially help the marriage. Of course, there is no reason to have blind faith that it will help. But, just being open to the possibility that it could be an effective way to resolve issues can help make it more effective.

But, effective counseling is not just about positive thinking. Marriage counselors are trained to b able to help the two of you to bring to light the parts of your relationship that are working, and those that are not. Then, they offer you tools to make things better between you.

5. Be open to switching to a different counselor if the first one is not working out:

If you decide to go to counseling with or without your spouse, pay attention to how you feel about the counselor. If you feel that they are not a fit for you, do not be afraid to switch to another one. Ultimately, you and your partner have to make the choice about whether you want to stay with them or switch to someone else.

Take these 5 insights into account as you determine whether counseling is right for you.

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Are you looking to return balance to your relationship? Here is an up-to-date report from Christian marriage experts who can help.

Lots of individuals (as many of us often do) ignore or simply forget to obey the basic laws of life. This becomes quite an issue involving Christian marriage fairness.

Initially there is joy, elation, or what seems to be impending and unending happiness. Yet, as time progresses and normal, plus often unexpected events of life unfold... pain, misunderstanding, and suffering tend to replace almost all initial or former ecstasy.

Even as Christians, we still walk this earth as average people, making mistakes along the way. It is mostly part of a dynamic learning process. Yet, a heightened sense of spirituality need be at its core. There are signs and guidelines which God places in our path.

Nonetheless, such symbols do us little good in nurturing Christian marriage fairness lest we choose to acknowledge and implement their solemn benefits into our lives in a consistent and meaningful way.

While covering curative aspects of Christian marital intimacy, you can consider these other related factors.

One of the main troubles that couples often face within Christian marriages today is that of selfishness. Yet, here we are talking about forgetful selfishness - the type that makes a spouse ignore or underestimate the idea that he or she is supposed to be an active member of a team comprising two people. In Christian marriage, we are no longer one - thus the "I" disappears and takes on the new name of "WE."

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

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In the spirit of restoring Christian marriage fairness, you can conduct a small experiment for yourself. Simply take the time to notice how your spouse speaks. Does he or she constantly use phrases like I WENT HERE, or I WANT THIS, or I HAVE THINGS TO DO AND PLACES TO GO. In other words, is the focus on singular terms, with emphasis upon one individual, rather than the Christian marriage TEAM we speak of earlier in this writing?

Now, in all honesty, your spouse can do the same type of experiment (we often do this anyway, only without the full spiritual knowledge, awareness, and love necessary to make it a productive Christian behavior)... Your spouse can easily notice whether YOU also are using a focus of ONE, rather than a Christian, team-based, partnership. And, the source of that focus ought to have its foundation in Godly LOVE.

Concerning Christian marriage fairness, have you heard of wives who may think of husbands in the following way... Surely, Here Is Yet Another One Of Those Selfish, Egotistical, Macho-Thinking Men Who Is Only Out To Use The Woman For His Own Personal Gain Or Satisfaction?

Certainly, this type of thinking can lead to bad outcomes in almost every ordeal that may arise within marital union.

Although that may be how things stand right now, keep in mind that you can restore Christian marriage fairness with time, practice, and most importantly - Godly loving spirit.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Are you a controlling wife? Do you take your husband for granted? Most women don't realize it but they abuse their husbands daily just by their actions. Many women of today feel that marriage revolves solely around them and that their husband's are supposed to give them everything their heart desires.

If we aren't getting what we want from our man could it be because we are not treating our man like a man? Stop pushing him around and he'll come around.

1. Don't undermine your husband's decision making

This is a biggy in marriage. Isn't it true that we women want things our way! We have been taught from grade school to go after our dreams and aspirations in life no matter what the consequences, even if that means rejecting our husband's needs and wishes. We do what WE want and what WE need. Why would a woman of today be so determined to chip away at her husband's manly authority and advice?

Face it ladies, we haven't exactly helped to make our man feel like a man. If we don't accept the man we married, why would we expect to get what we want from him? If we are rejecting, blaming, controlling, demeaning, undermining, and complaining about our husbands we certainly aren't respecting the man we married.

If we weaken our husband's manly resolve what's left but our feminist attitude and bossy selfish egos? Are we taking the man we married for granted? I think we are and that's what's killing marriage! How do I know all this? I used to undermine my husband all the time. I wouldn't let him be the man of the house. I was bossy and rebellious. I want you to know what I have come to know. It's great!

2. Don't reject your husband

How many times last month did you tell your husband that you were too tired or had a headache or simply shrugged him off because you were mad at him? Probably more times then you really think. Shouldn't we want to satisfy our husband's needs every single day, regardless, whether we feel like it or not? We women need to please and satisfy the men we're married to and we'll get our hearts desire. We really will!

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3. Give your husband space (time with buddies)

Do you complain because your husband likes to have free time away with the guys? Maybe you feel he should be home doing chores or watching the children on his day off. But face it ladies, our man deserves time away to be with his friends to play golf, fish or hunt, or whatever it is he does just as much as we deserve to be with our friends. Did you know that a husband that is allowed the freedom to be with his buddies is a happier and more content filled man? Isn't that what we want anyway?

4. Cook your husband hot and nutritious meals every day

It is so true that one way to our man's heart is through his stomach. Ask any man and he'll tell you. I know that some of you ladies who work out of the home just don't have the time to cook nice meals everyday. Buy a crock-pot and a crock-pot cookbook and learn to make delicious homemade meals with it. Crock-pot cooking is so simple. You throw all the ingredients in the pot and it cooks safely all day, and the food will be ready when you both come home from work.

5. Respect your husband

What's so hard about respecting the man we married? If we control the marriage and feel that our husband can't do anything as good as we can, we certainly won't be able to respect him, right? Is treating your husband like one of the children respecting him? Is complaining about their faults respecting him? Is telling him what he's going to do respecting him? Is rejecting him sexually respecting him? Is belittling him respecting him? Well then, stop doing all these things and you are on your way to respecting the man you married.

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6. Let your husband protect you

God made man to be the protector of women. Men love to do it, they want to do it, and they feel like a man when we let them do it. But most married women don't feel they need protected because they can take care of themselves. They carry mace, a gun and take karate classes and act like a man and still, they are getting beaten, raped, manhandled, and murdered. If a woman is married why on earth would she want to take away her husbands god-given natural abilities as a protector?

A married woman needs to allow her husband do his job in the manner in which he does it best, by protecting and loving his wife with the natural abilities God gave him. How can a man do that when the woman won't let him? This is how a man loves his woman!

Seriously now, it's really that simple. What would happen if we didn't allow our husbands to protect us? We would be rejecting their love for us. Don't you want to be loved by your man? Did you know that when we don't let our husband's love us the way God meant for a man to love his wife, we are rebelling against God?

7. Submit to your husband (love God)

Ladies, first you must learn to submit to God. This was a major issue in my marriage for many years because I didn't accept God. I was looking out into the world for the answers to my marriage problems when the answers were within my spiritual self the whole time. I finally grew to accept and love God. That is the root of submitting right there.

By growing out from the selfish person I was, I learned to understand what submitting to my husband was all about. Once a woman learns to submit to her husband she will see that by submitting she is actually in more control of the marriage and a better marriage wife because of it.

In other words, a woman will not lose anything of her self by submitting but will gain more of herself that was lost.

"Now I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthian's 11:3

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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