My Husband Has No Respect For Me My Feelings: What To Do If Husband Doesn't Respect You

Communicating Effectively Results in the Experience of Respect and Love

Many couples struggle with how to communicate effectively. Unfortunately, as the more relational creation, wives need to be more conscientious of the power their words have on the relationship. Too often, there is a failure to communicate expectations, or it is done in such a way that is sarcastic and contemptuous, which then results in a perception of disrespect. This article gives an example of a successful communication through a difficult challenge, providing practical advice of how to 1) get needs met, and 2) set expectations to avoid conflict and pain.

The Boat Trailer

As he climbed into the cab beside her, she looked at him and matter-of-factly said, "I'll do this wrong about 20 times before you even see a glimmer of hope for the possibility that I might be able to tame this monster. I am going on record right now, that what I need is a heapin' helping of extra grace from you - gently coach me through this and encourage me or I'm going to get frustrated, burst into tears and not only will we both be upset, but you'll still have to get out of the boat and trailer it yourself." He stared at her for a brief moment, taking in her statement, then said simply, "You can do this. Just because you've never backed the trailer into the water, doesn't mean you aren't capable of doing it. Let's go." They practiced on the dirt road to the cabin for about half an hour. His voice was calm, his words encouraging, and no tears were shed. Confident in her abilities, he said, "I'll meet you over there in about 10 minutes."

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On the drive over to the boat ramp, she had a chance to wonder why things had gone so well. He's tried to teach her a few things in the past, one of the more interesting attempts ended with them capsizing a small sailboat, and most of these experiences involved his getting frustrated and her feelings being hurt. The difference this time was as easy as pulling the trailer to the ramp area(which was remarkably simple). She had clearly stated what she needed from him for things to go well. She communicated expectations - for both of them. After being married for 18 years, they knew each other pretty well. Being a friend and being respectful to her husband often means helping him - sometimes it's pulling the boat out of the water, sometimes it's setting an accurate expectation.

She made two passes at the boat ramp that day, nearly hitting the dock on the first pass, then pulled back for a moment to figure out what didn't work and why, tried again, a little slower and more successfully the second time. The situation resulted in a win/win situation for both of them, not just with the boat, but in their relationship, too.

Bottom Line: Wives can get their needs met and generate respect by how they communicate with their husbands!

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When spouses become dissatisfied with one another, they may begin to wonder if there is something better out there for them. They may begin to wonder if they married the wrong man or the wrong woman.

The other day I saw a bill board promoting a website that encourages married people to seek for extra-marital affairs if they are not getting what they want from their spouse. Such is the value our world now places on the sacred institute of marriage.

People are encouraged to believe that they can go and find someone better if they are experiencing challenges in their marriage rather than stay in their marriage and fix things.

As a result some married couples are looking at and are tempted by the grass which seems greener on the other side, not knowing that the only reason that grass seems greener is because the owner took care of and nurtured it.

A wife that thinks the grass is greener on the other side may begin to desire another woman's husband, likewise a husband that thinks the grass the greener on the other side might start to desire another mans wife. They begin to envy what someone else has.

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Upon close inspection, you might discover that the grass that seems greener on the other side really isn't; it's really an illusion, a fantasy that you have created in your mind. You dream of this perfect life with someone else, a perfect life that doesn't exist. Every marriage has its issues. What separates the successful marriages from the unsuccessful ones are that the two people involved understand that true love means sacrifice, maturity, patience and endurance. It is the acceptance of your spouse despite their flaws.
Your marriage can be that grass that appears greener on the other side if only you would water it trim it and look after it.

Successful marriages don't happen by accident. They are a product of hard work and effort. Nothing good comes easy but there is a reward for those who persevere. You can make the grass of your marriage greener by developing the romance in your marriage, learning how to relate to your spouse intimately, learning how to be sensitive to the needs of your spouse, learning how to tolerate the flaws of your spouse and making up in your mind that your marriage will succeed and not fail.

Make up in your mind that there is no other option for you, settle it in your mind that there is no one better out there for you, your spouse is the right person for you. Work on your marriage support and love your spouse unconditionally and your grass will become the envy of all.

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If you find that you have tried everything possible and nothing seems to be working, then you are probably wondering how to save a marriage when counseling failed and your spouse is asking for a divorce. You are definitely not alone. The bad news is that most of these marriages fail. The good news is that yours does not need to be one of them! You can save your marriage from divorce even if your spouse isn't trying to save the marriage. I learned the secret and I have some valuable information that I'd like to share with you.

First of all, don't worry if counseling didn't work. It doesn't work for most couples as a tool for saving a marriage from divorce. A recent study of couples who attended counseling showed that 80% reported that the marriage counseling they received was of little or no help at all. These couples ended up divorcing at the same rate as those who didn't attend counseling! I know that the marriage counseling my wife and I received a few years ago had no bearing whatsoever on saving our marriage.

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So what is the secret to save a marriage when your spouse is asking for a divorce? First of all, you must avoid the common mistakes that so many people make when facing a divorce. These mistakes will really hurt your chance to save the marriage. You must not allow your negative emotions to cloud your judgment and actions. You must not get caught up in the "blame game", which is the absolute fuel of divorce. You also must commit yourself 100% to doing what is necessary to save your marriage, even if your spouse doesn't seem committed at all. And finally, you have to be willing to take action, and follow a plan that may seem strange at first.

Once I made this discovery of a step-by-step process that taught me what to do and how to do it, everything began to change. Suddenly, my wife who had been determined to divorce me became willing to join me in saving our marriage. Amazingly enough, our marriage is now better than it was even before we were having problems. We have created something that is better than we ever thought possible. Thousands of other couples have had similar experiences. It takes a willingness to trust the process, a belief in your marriage and a love for your partner. It can be done!

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

On your wedding day if you were married in a church setting, someone most likely prayed for your marriage. You stood at the Alter and gazed into each other's eyes and probably had no idea what the person marrying you said. Your mind was so consumed with what the wedding reception, honeymoon and your future together you really didn't pay attention to the prayer for your marriage.

Marriage is no piece of cake but it's possible to have a great marriage. There are a lot of challenges in marriages and unfortunately too many couples pack it in and call it quits. Just as there were marriage prayers for husbands and wives initially, there should also be marriage prayers for husbands and wives after the wedding.

I've listed a marriage prayer for wives and husbands below. I hope one of these prayers will encourage you and can be useful to help draw you closer to your spouse.

Before I forget to mention it you can also find a good resource for building a stronger marriage at the end of this article. No marriage is perfect and getting a little help is often times what keeps couples happily together and not just co-existing.

Marriage prayer from wives for their husbands

Lord, I pray you would guard our marriage from anything that would hurt or destroy it. Should it be from our own inappropriate selfish desires and neglect or from the actions of others. Please keep us from unhealthy or dangerous situations that can harm our marriage.

May there be no temptations for infidelity and no thoughts of divorce in our hearts. Release us from past hurts, memories and bonds from previous relationships, and unrealistic expectations of each other.

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Please keep our hearts pure and let no habits become part of our lives that would threaten our marriage in any way.

I pray that You would join my husband and me in a bond of love, friendship, commitment, unselfishness and understanding. Help us to mature and remove any hostility, or feelings of inadequacy.

Help us to value our relationship and make time for one another, to nurture and strengthen our marriage and continuously remind ourselves of the reasons we were married in the first place.

I pray that we will not leave a legacy of divorce for our children and that our love for each other will grow stronger everyday. Please help us to be examples of how great marriage can be when two individuals set aside their own desires for the sake of their spouse.

Lord I pray that You would bless the work of my husband's hands. May his labor bring not only favor, success and prosperity, but great fulfillment as well. Give him strength, faith, and a vision for the future. Open up doors of opportunity for him that no man can close. Develop his skills so that they grow more valuable each year. Show me how to encourage him. I pray that his work will be established, secure, successful, satisfying, and financially rewarding. May he never wither under pressure, but grow strong and prosper.

May I forever value my husband and our marriage and do my part in making sure our journey together is the best that it can be.

Marriage prayer from husbands for their wives

Lord, I pray that you would shield our marriage from unhealthy or dangerous situations that could hurt our relationship. Please help us to set aside our selfishness and insecurities and continue to grow closer together as time goes bye.

May our commitment to each other forever and ever be strong and unbreakable because of our unconditional love for each other. Please keep thoughts of divorce and temptations of infidelity far from our lives and help us to clearly understand the pain and sufferings caused by such actions.

Please help us to guard our hearts from feelings and emotions that are harmful to our relationship and keep us from actions that are damaging to our marriage.

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I pray that You would help us to be attentive and supportive of each other in a way that only a husband and wife can be. Allow us to compliment each other and combine our talents, gifts and abilities to build a marriage strong enough to withstand any pressures or challenges encountered. Help us to grow closer together as we face the normal trials of marriage and life.

Help us to make our relationship a priority above all others and strive to be in love and honor our marriage vows to love and cherish one another until death.

I pray that my wife will be so committed to You, Lord, that her commitment to me will not waiver, no matter what storms come.

I pray that our love for each other will grow stronger everyday, so that we will never leave a legacy of divorce to our children.

Lord I pray that You would watch over my wife and bless the work that she does and the relationships that she has. May she experience the joy, peace and happiness that she deserves to have and may I be a blessing to her in every way possible. May she be strengthened in areas where she is weak and be complimented by me, as we grow in love together! Give her strength, faith, and a vision for the future. Open up doors of opportunity for her that no man can close. Develop her skills so that they grow more valuable each year. Show me how to encourage her. I pray that her work will be established, secure, successful, satisfying, and financially rewarding. May she never wither under pressure, but grow strong and prosper.

May I forever value her and our marriage and do my part in making sure our journey together is the best that it can be.

Praying for your spouse regularly will help you to grow closer to him or her as you focus more on your spouses needs more than your own. The important thing to remember is not to pray to change your spouse into the person you want them to be. Your prayer should be for them to experience all of the blessings God has for them. If they do, your relationship and marriage will be better and stronger.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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