My Husband Eats Too Much: Helping My Husband Change His Eating Habits

She's at it again! There she goes eating five brownies in a row. Just last night, she ate two pieces of pie with ice cream on them. What will it be tomorrow? Cake, cookies, fudge, an entire pizza?

It is difficult to watch a spouse, or someone else you love, let his eating get out of control. Should you speak up? Give him a disapproving look? Turn a blind eye? What should you do when your spouse is an emotional over-eater?

First, realize that overeating is not really about food. It is about emotions and an inability to handle them. When people stuff food in their mouths like there is no tomorrow, they are also "stuffing down" their emotions. It is an attempt to numb up with food--to not feel sad, scared, or angry--or to distract themselves away from these types of emotions with food, particularly sugars and fats.

Sugars and fats act like an adult pacifier to soothe and calm negative emotions. This is because sugars and fats work in the brain in the same way that alcohol or nicotine or caffeine or other drugs do. They release dopamine, the brain's feel good chemical. Here's how it works:

Let's say you had a stressful day. Nothing went your way, and you are feeling really angry and frustrated. You head for the cookies and ice cream, both of which are loaded with fats and sugars. You eat this and soon begin to calm down as dopamine gets released in the brain. The brain says, "Wow, that worked really well! I feel so much better! I need to remember how I did that." So the brain creates a memory trace to recall that sugars and fats make it feel so much calmer. Then the next time you feel emotional, the brain will remind you: "Hey remember how when you eat sugars and fats you feel better? Let's do that again!" And so you do. The problem is that a few minutes later, you begin to feel guilty for eating all that junk, and guilt is another negative emotion that must be pacified. So, on and on it goes until you have a full-blown food addiction, particularly to sugars and fats.

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The bottom line is that overeating is not a character flaw. It doesn't mean your spouse is lazy, stupid, undisciplined, or weak-willed. This is neuroscience. It is how the brain operates. It is the same for all of us. We all can get addicted to sugars and fats if we are not aware of the connection between certain foods and emotional altering.

We all need dopamine to feel good. There is nothing wrong with wanting and needing a dopamine fix. Thankfully, there are other ways to get it. Exercise, pets, laughter, nature, art, music, hobbies, good friends, sex, and spirituality also release dopamine in the brain. And none of them will make you fat!

Here are some tips for the spouses of those who tend to overeat out of emotions:

1. Don't scold, criticize, or shame your spouse. She already feels badly about herself and her situation. This is why she is eating those brownies.

2. Don't purchase foods laden with sugars and fats and keep them around the house or eat them yourself.

3. Do offer positive affirmations to your spouse. Remind her of her strengths and attractive qualities.

4. Do offer hope that tomorrow will mostly likely be a better day. Situations and feelings can even change that same day.

5. Do offer to take a walk or play a sport together. Even using the Wii together is exercise. Plus it is fun and fun releases dopamine.

6. Do offer to listen to what is bothering your spouse. Actively listen by intently focusing on her words and make full eye contact. Ask questions so your spouse can process what is bothering her.

7. Do something together that does not involve food. Find a hobby. Visit a book store or museum. Go to a park or the beach or the lake. Adopt a pet. Have sex. Watch something funny on TV. All of these release dopamine and will build your marriage in the process.

8. Do watch for symptoms of depression (over or under-sleeping, excessive crying or anger, irritability, feelings and statements of worthlessness, helplessness, powerlessness, and withdrawing from others and from activities once enjoyed). Offer to go with your spouse to the doctor or to a therapist.

9. Do educate yourself about emotional overeating.

10. Do provide affection. A hug can go a long way!

It can be very difficult to see your spouse do anything that appears self-destructive. But just realize that your spouse does not want to be unhealthy or unattractive. He has simply taught his brain what to do when feeling emotionally overwhelmed. It doesn't mean your spouse is a bad or weak person. It just means she needs to learn other ways to handle her emotions.

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There is absolutely nothing easy about marriages. You need to sacrifice so many things - even if you say you need not do that - for the sake of your relationship. If your marriage is currently in the rocks, don't immediately resort to breaking up. Divorce can get very ugly and so many people will be affected by harsh decisions such as this. You just need to remind yourself of the most important things which are within the save your marriage information you may receive from almost anyone.

No two marriages are the same. People have different kinds and degree of needs all throughout their lives. However, there are factors which can definitely any partnership last. Call these the 'constant' valid elements of rescuing your marriage that all marriages should have because you need all these if you want to salvage your marriage. These are the ability to communicate well, a forgiving heart, spending time with each other, full acceptance and undying love.

Let's talk about the first need which is communication. This is very important because misunderstandings are usually the cause of failing partnerships. Often, couples like to argue about very small things. They do not know that they are hurting each other already. Sometimes, couples do not talk about their problem for fear of confrontation. This is equally bad because you do not know what is going on any longer. Any you're your marriage information will state that communication is highly significant to rescuing your marriage.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

If arguments cannot be helped, it is a good idea to talk about things in a civil manner. No throwing of bad, insulting words or plates at each other. Now, if you want to rescue your marriage, you should learn how to apologize and forgive which is also noted in most marriage information that is available today. A lot of people make mistakes and you are definitely one of them. You would like to be absolved of your faults - small or not. If you are the one at fault, say sorry. If your spouse asks for forgiveness, give it. Betrayals of trust are not equaled by another betrayal. Revenge should not be part of any marriage.

If you are reading relationships information, you should also learn how to forgive. This does not immediately mean that you will just let things pass. It means that you are understanding the cause of the mistake and still loving your partner. You should also know how to ask for forgiveness.

Save your marriage information is very informative and useful; try and use one suggestion each day. The last but definitely not the least piece of information is that you need acceptance to salvage your marriage, therefore making your partnership last. You see, when you accept somebody wholeheartedly, you can see past the trivialities of life and really love him or her. You entered this marital bliss knowing your spouse's faults. Some of these you absolutely hate while the others you try your best to ignore.

If you want your marriage to last, you shouldn't nitpick on your partner all the time. He or she will hate you for nagging and you will hate them back for not changing. Acceptance means love. If you have not done this in the past, try doing it now. This might be the only thing that can restore your marriage; remember this is all helpful save your marriage information.

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Passion in a long-term relationship like marriage could fade over time but it does not mean that your marriage has to end. Although a marriage could become stale and boring after seven or more years or some call it seven-year-itch, losing the spark in your marriage is not the end of it but it means you have to do something to make the relationship alive again. It is normal for couples to experience the ups and downs of marriage but couples should learn to overcome the difficult stages of marriage to make the relationship stronger and last longer. There are things you can do to restore the passion in your marriage and save your relationship. So how to restore the passion in your marriage?

Do not let romance die in your marriage.
Couples tend to live a routine life after being married for many years and have less time to be romantic with each other. They no longer bother to go out together to have some fun or reconnect with each other or they already forgot the romantic gestures they used to do. Overwhelming marital responsibilities usually caused romance to take a backseat which should not be the case. If you want to restore the passion in your marriage, do not let romance die in your marriage. A relationship without romance is lifeless so bring back the romance in your marriage to make the relationship alive again. You need to make an effort to keep the romance alive in your relationship to restore the passion in your marriage.

Improve your sex life.
After years of being married, couples may feel that lovemaking is just a routine or an obligation that they need to fulfill which is not healthy in a relationship. Satisfying lovemaking is very important in every marriage because this is where couples connect physically and emotionally. Physical intimacy and passion may fade over time and couples may feel disconnected with each other. If your sex life is no longer exciting, you need to do something to improve your sex life before it could ruin your marriage. Spend more intimate time with each other and be open and honest with each other on what you really want in bed. The freedom to express what you really want and the open communication about sex can help you improve your sex life and restore the passion in your marriage.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

Compliment your spouse.
When was the last time you gave compliments to your spouse? Or do you remember the last time you receive one? The problem with living together for so long is that couples get used to being together with each other every day that they do not make an effort anymore to give compliments to each other. Everyone needs to be praised once in a while. Men love to hear compliments especially from their wives and it is the same thing for women, there are compliments that wives are dying to hear from their husbands. Praising your spouse is giving your spouse the feeling that he or she is loved and appreciated. Physical compliment means you are still physically attracted to your spouse and emotional compliment means you appreciate his or her positive traits. The feeling of appreciation can be very helpful to restore the passion in your marriage. Tell her that she looks beautiful with her new hairstyle or tell him that he really looks handsome. Compliment him for being a great father to your children and compliment her for taking care of your kids. Even a simple "thank you" can be very sweet and can make your spouse feel good and appreciated.

Do not hesitate to show affection.
Couples sometimes hesitate to display affection as they are embarrassed or sometimes think that it is too corny. They no longer hold hands while walking, embrace each other or wrap their arms around each other. To restore the passion in your marriage, display your affection. You are a couple and couples should naturally display their affection to keep the relationship more passionate. Give flowers to your wife or surprise your wife with a candlelight dinner. Kiss your husband before leaving for work and give him a massage when he arrived from work.

Communicate more.
Passion in a marriage may fade if couples do not have the time to communicate. With the growing responsibilities of married life, it is really hard to find time to communicate with your spouse but you still need to make an effort to communicate more to restore the passion in your marriage. Face to face communication is always preferred and is a must for couples to really connect with each other. Set a regular date with your spouse to have the opportunity to communicate more with each other. Being married does not mean you cannot date your spouse anymore. It is wrong to stop dating just because you are already married. The more you need to date if you are already married because you will grow apart and find yourselves lost in the sea of marital responsibilities if you stopped dating and communicating. Being alone with each other is necessary if you want to communicate more so you need to continue dating. Aside from face to face communication, utilize the technology we have now to communicate more with your spouse. Call your spouse once in a while, send text messages or write an email to your spouse. Handwriting a letter, which is an old fashion way to communicate is still an effective way to connect with your spouse so get your pen and scented stationery and write a love letter to your spouse. The key is communicate more to restore the passion in your marriage.

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You and your husband or wife have decided it's time to heal marriage in your life. You've hurt each other enough, you've caused pain and tears in each other, you've even learnt to hate each other. But you know you love one another and want to heal marriage. What do you need to do this? Here's what marriage experts think is essential:

1. Facing the truth
You both have to face whatever truths there are in your life together. An affair, lie after lie, deliberate actions to hurt each other. Don't deny them, don't ignore them.

2. Being honest with each other
Until trust is re-established, no marriage that's hurting can move forward so start being completely honest with each other from this moment on. No more lies and deception. No matter how hard or hurtful.

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3. Forgiving and forgetting
This is probably the hardest thing for any couple to do. You must somehow learn to forgive each other for whatever wrongs you've done. More importantly, you must forget after forgiving. It's no point saying "you're forgiven" and then reminding your spouse of what he or she did three years later.

4. Communicating openly
Say what's really on your mind, don't sugar-coat anything, don't underplay a feeling you have. You both also need to cultivate a listening ear. No matter what your spouse says, you must learn to hear him or her out.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.


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Author's Bio: 

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