My Husband and I Are Separated He Is Dating: My Separated Husband Has A Girlfriend

If you're in a marriage where things are getting worse and worse, you may already be considering divorce. Of course, every marriage has ups and downs but sometimes it can seem like the 'downs' will never go back up. If you're considering divorce, you may want to think about something else first - marriage trial separation. Basically, this allows you and your spouse to separate and have different living arrangements so you can possibly resolve the issues within your marriage. Here are some pros and cons of marriage trial separations.

Cons

One of the reasons that many people do not want to try marriage separations is because they feel it will distance them even more. In truth, for some couples a trial marriage separation only allows them to run from their problems and avoid them rather than facing them and dealing with them in a healthy way. If you feel as if your marriage could follow this route, a marriage trial separation may not be a good idea for you.

Another disadvantage of marriage trial separations is the fact that you will have to break it to your children if you have any. For children, a marriage trial separation can be as bad as a divorce. It is difficult on children to have their entire routines and lives uprooted and in disarray. They will need extra love and attention the same way they would if you were really getting a divorce. Most of them need to know that the separation is in no way their fault at all. Even if they don't say so, it is common for children to feel as if they have done something to cause the separation.

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Pros

One of the major advantages of trial marriage separation is that it allows you and your spouse to work out your differences in a comfortable way. Often times when you're under the same roof and around each other all of the time, you can't get to the real solutions because of the hostility and anger. However, when you're given some breathing room, it allows the both of you to see what you are missing and think clearly in order to come up with solutions.

Of course, you're also able to relieve some of the stress when you're not cooped up with your partner, arguing day and night. Sometimes a bit of separation is exactly what a couple needs to remind them of how much they love each other - despite of all of their differences. This allows you to see where you were wrong and where your partner was wrong and to work things out. It's sort of like the old saying you don't know what you have until it's gone. Being able to see what life is like without your partner and vice versa could be all it takes to bring back all of those caring and loving feelings.

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If you're trying to save your marriage then there is one fundamental thing you must consider. That is that no matter what your problem is, you must be certain that you still love your spouse, and you are truly dedicated to doing whatever it takes to save your marriage.

In a perfect world, both spouses would be completely dedicated to saving their marriage. However, we don't live in a perfect, ideal world where both partners would be motivated to do something about their marital problems.

With that in mind, you may end being the one who has to take the initiative to save your marriage. By doing this, you ignite the flame in your spouse so that he or she will end up doing their part to fix the issues weighing the marriage down.

If you're in a situation where your spouse feels that they want out of the marriage, then your first course of action should be talking about why they feel this way. Be open to accept whatever their reasons are for why they want to end it.

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Be quick to challenge the reasons that come out, don't worry, this doesn't mean you're not gonna try to still save the marriage, but want you want to do first is let them get their reasons for why the marriage is failing. After they have told you what their problems with the relationship are then you are ready to tell what you think the problems are.

Get the issues out in the open so that you both can begin talking about the problems, compromising, and making the necessary commitments to patch those problems up. Never beg and plead when you're having these talks.

By this I mean trying to get them to tell them more about their reasons, just let them get their main reasons out so that you can get yours out. Once you give your reasons, your partner will want to know more about your reasons, and then you can ask more about their reasons.

Keep digging until you find the root of the problem. Make your compromises by you both agreeing to do your own part to fix the problems. You could both agree to be more open and communicate more. For people trying to save your marriage, you absolutely must communicate with your spouse.

Without being able to talk about anything with your partner, no relationship can possibly last. Just communicate more, show some spontaneity, and be more open. If you're trying to get your relationship back on the right track this all you have to do to get moving in the right direction.

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Seeing as how there are statistics out there that say that over half of marriages end in divorce, it is probably no surprise that couples counseling is a booming business. The problem is, a good deal of the couples who seek this therapy STILL end up getting a divorce!

If you find yourself in the unenviable position where you feel like your marriage is on its last breath, do not lose hope that you can avoid divorce. Read on for a few bits of advice, that actually work, if you want to try to avoid divorce.

- Say It In Writing

Many of us are far more rational and able to keep our calm if we put our concerns, feelings, etc., down on paper. We are not likely to engage in the unhelpful name calling and back and forth threat hurling when we pen down our thoughts as opposed to expressing them verbally. If you can sit down and coherently express how you are feeling about the marriage, you will be able to clearly lay out for your spouse the problems you see facing your marriage. Doing this will not only provide you will some tension relief, but your spouse will also be able to get a clear understanding of where you are coming from.

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- Don't Raise Your Voice

People naturally get defensive when they are approached by someone who is yelling or speaking in an otherwise loud, aggressive, or scathing tone. You most certainly do not want to approach your spouse in this manner if you hope to avoid divorce. Even if your spouse does the opposite, remain calm and do not raise your voice. This will naturally calm your spouse down as well.

- Listen When They Talk, Actually LISTEN

Truly listening to someone is not as easy as it sounds. It is important, especially when you and your partner are on rocky ground and trying to avoid divorce, that you actually listen to what he or she has to say. So often, especially in tense situations, we are only half listening because we are already trying to form our rebuttal. This isn't a contest, learn how to truly HEAR what they have to say.

- Talk About and Show That You Still Love Them

If you want to avoid divorce, one of the easiest ways to do it is to remind your spouse how much you love and care for them. Make sure you verbalize your love and appreciation for your spouse daily and your partner will begin to feel appreciated again. The chance for even further improvement at this point is very high.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Are you considering everything when it comes to why you may want to save your relationship, stop divorce, or prevent the agony of dealing with a breakup?

Being in a love relationship is indeed a wonderful experience.

When you can not request anything more due to the overflowing bliss, intimacy and joy that you are feeling deep within you, there are times.

In this article you will get a good glimpse of considerations when it comes down to ways to save your relationship, how to be communicating to one another to prevent divorce, and if all else fails how to begin healing after a breakup

Knowing that to save your relationship and addressing the problems could potentially reach the end of the line, could be disastrous and stunning news to you.

You have to act now and try to learn how to fix a failing relationship so you may prevent divorce.

So that healing after a breakup never enters the picture if you're interested in saving the love relationship these suggestions may be a good beginning for you.

- Recognize the Relationship Problems

Determining the root cause of a possible relationship failure is the really first action to save a relationship.

It is truly essential for you to determine the problems present in your relationship in order to conserve your love for one another.

- Discuss the Problem between the Both of You

You have to go over all relationship issues as soon as you have ended up identifying the problems which are present in your relationship.

If you've been in your relationship for a good quantity of time, this will be particularly crucial to you.

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- Always make sure that Love is Present

Previously I discussed finding the best marriage or relationship advice perhaps online to help fit a busy schedule.

You have to make sure that love is constantly present in your relationship to avoid any possible break ups.

To save your relationship is possible, as long as there is still a twinkle of love within your significant other.

- Conserving a relationship is actually possible.

Just keep the above ideas in mind, and you should recognize that you can't demand that the other person stays with you.

Keeping your feelings in check and keeping your cool are also crucial parts to this complicated formula.

Thus, you have to act now and not put off identifying the relationship issues and talking to one another about seeking professional counseling or marriage therapy.

These days there are some great marriage counseling services and marriage psychologists who truly do care about helping you to save your relationship.

If you both can agree that professional marriage advice or relationship help is a path you want to accept, then that right there means you have just taken the first step on answering to, can I save my relationship.

Once you begin the path to healing determining the root cause of a possible relationship failure is the really first mile of your journey for how to fix a failing relationship.

A professional can then step in to help you go deeper to uncover and overcome the identifying issues present that are keeping holiness from prevailing in the love you have for one another.

A Course in Miracles states, "Set firmly in the unholy relationship, there is no course except to change the relationship to fit the goal."

ACIM further adds here, "Until this happy solution is seen and accepted as the only way out of the conflict, the relationship may seem to be severely strained."

Conserving a relationship is possible, as long as there is still a glimmer of love within your substantial other, and that leads us to discuss how to avoid divorce.

Yes, healing a relationship and conserving is certainly possible.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

Author's Bio: 

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