My Girlfriend is Being Distant And I Don’t Know What to Do

Before I begin , I must say that the other person involved has a complete understanding as to what the article is about and is in agreement that this article is to be written. This article is based on my personal experience from my past. To not be confused by the title, the title is based on my boyfriend’s perspective.I will also get into my perspective as well. I can tell you however, that there had been times in my current relationship that I know I was never the best girlfriend at times and I know my boyfriend can attest to that.
Earlier on , I had doubts of the relationship as to where it was going and uncertainties with my feelings. I was never confused about sexuality but , confused on whether I truly loved my boyfriend or not. With distance and age difference playing a factor , it was a dark and difficult time not only for me but for him as well. I began to distance myself from him and my own feelings for him.
I knew he loved me, there was never any doubt about that. Although I knew that , with my doubts; I ended things with him. This would not be the only time that I had broken things off with him. During this mess, I had even re-developed feelings for someone I knew from high school. This high school guy was a good friend of mine that I liked as a crush when we were still teenagers, we had kept in touch since graduating. He and I went through periods of liking each other then going a long time without feeling anything for one another. One day he and I were talking like how we normally do , as friends of course.
All of a sudden , old feelings sparked between us again. Nothing out of the unusual however, I was still with my boyfriend at the time. That as you can imagine was an issue , I didn’t want to hurt my boyfriend but ; I didn’t want to keep lying about how I was currently feeling. I didn’t want to cheat either because I don’t believe in cheating. So what did I do about this? I did something what I realize now as irrational. I ended things with my boyfriend and momentarily got together with the friend from high school. It seemed like a better option because at this point, I wasn’t feeling the same for my boyfriend as I did before - or so I thought.
The thing that I consider weird is that , as soon as I got together with my friend from school(that very day); it was as if my feelings for him diminished right then and there. A short amount of days later , I “ended” things with my friend as I didn’t want to be with someone I didn’t feel for at all. I also realized that within that short amount of time that I still loved my boyfriend. So then , I apologized for everything and he and I got back together.
The thing that made it difficult within this time , was the accusation that I had been cheating when I wasn’t. Things were heated as one would expect, and feelings were strong as well as hurt at this point. We eventually moved on from this point, forgave each other and stopped talking about what had happened. It’s never easy hurting a loved one when you never intended to and it’s definitely even more difficult when they feel passionately for you as you do with them.
When you feel this deeply for someone as much as they feel for you, everything becomes a unit. There will be difficult times as well as easier times. With someone you love, you won’t be alone because they are experiencing this with you.
You my readers, I hope you understand that relationships are never easy. Sometimes we think we may know what’s best, may not always be the best. Instead of doing what I did, I suggest to sit down with your partner and discuss how you had been feeling. They won’t like it but, if they truly love you; they will do everything they can to try to understand. Hopefully, you two can talk it out and hopefully your partner can help you with this difficult time.
Good luck to my readers who may be experiencing what I had experienced. And that your relationship may grow to what you want it to be and for you to cherish every second of it.