My Favorite Tips on Debunking Fears

Now that we have come to terms with the fact that not only is important to face the fears but also that in order to achieve, we must move through them; let’s talk about practical ways to deal with those often silent thieves and debunk them once and for all.

When we remember that there is power and control in taking action, we begin to move into the direction of debunking. Also, we must be present and aware of the sense of self-responsibility and love that comes from taking care of ourselves. Every time we take a step, no matter how uncomfortable, we build upon our confidence and destroy the hold of those negative feelings, thoughts or fears; and that is why this topic is so important.

“Imagine living your life without being afraid to take a risk and to explore life.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

Top 10 ways to Debunk Your Fears- disclaimer: please note that these are just 10 ideas. There are many other ways to debunk those little monsters, yet I wanted to give you 10 ways you can use today to start reclaiming your sense of control, power and gain momentum. Also, keep in mind that much of this is not new. However, we have all been on that spot that all of a sudden, something just clicks. “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear...” It happened to me when I finally decided to lose the weight. Is this the time for you?

1. Care, but don’t Carry it. Don’t get stuck in the failures. If something did not work in the past, take that in and move on. There is learning in each situation, and next time you are posed with something similar you can apply what you learned here. You will then be able to spend that energy in something constructive hence debunking the fear.
2. Stop Procrastinating. “Doing” is the best medicine. When you start acting according to your plan, thinking follows and next thing you know, other things start to happen. I often say that procrastination is a type of illness; it has the tendency to get worse especially if you then have to act, prepare or complete a task last minute. Do it well, prepare yourself and debunk the fear that is behind it.
3. Think, Act and Look Confident. There is something to be said about acting ‘as if.’ The idea is not to be fake, but to start living your vision. When you present yourself as a winner, as a successful individual, others will see it and will respect you for that. This is a bonus all around, because not only your overall sense of being is uplifted by the simple ‘air’ of success; but this type of attitude will impact everything you do…in a good way and next thing you do, fears are being debunked.
4. Use Positive Thinking. This is a biggie. There is no way that you will be successful if you are a pessimistic about the outlook of your life. You must change this immediately if you want to make any kind of progress in your life. Start using affirmations and use the present tense when you remind yourself of your assets, your greatness, your success, your beauty, intelligence, etc. Use these statements to deny the power of whatever fear you are experiencing.
5. See It. Visualization is a very common techniques used these days. Why? Because there is a huge sense of empowerment when we feel that achievement we are pursuing. Afraid of looking for a new job? See yourself at your desk, in your new job, speaking with your new business associates. Imagine what you will be wearing, what the interior of the office will look like, the smells you will enjoy when you are there, the sound of the water on the lobby’s water feature, etc. The idea is to get this vision from one dimension to a multi-sensory and dimensional experience. When you taste what it will looks, feels, smells, hears like; you will be energized to do whatever it takes to get there.
6. Get off the ‘But’. Bottomline is that we are responsible for ourselves, for our satisfaction in life, for our experiences and for what we do with them. Granted, there are external factors that contribute to whatever happens in life, but we always have the choice on how to react to them. Buts are excuses. And when we use excuses to justify what did or did not happen; we are failing to own our situations. Excuses are food for fears because they keep us trapped and prevent us from moving forward.
7. Keep Things in Perspective. Does it really matter? So often we hand out power to things that we are afraid of. What do we really fear? Keeping things in perspective allows us to see the true nature of the situation. Am I afraid of going to the party because I don’t want to see my ex? Or because I lack confidence in showing up and interacting with a new group of people? Am I afraid of what they will say about me, about my hair, my outfit? What is it? A while back someone taught me a little trick; when in doubt ask yourself “Will this matter in 5 years? If the answer is no, get over it and quickly! The more time you spend on that topic, the less you will be able to be productive in another area.
8. Read Self-Help Materials. Manuals, tapes, books are available at the library, bookstores, and online. Submerge yourself on the topics that are pertinent to your situation. If you are the one looking for work. Get familiar with everything that is out there written about successful job search, writing powerful resumés and winning interviews. Also, seek advice from someone that has been there. Read their blogs/articles. Exchange mail or emails with people that can give you solid advice on how to get there. The truth is that the more good stuff you can feed your brain, the less afraid you will be.
9. Let Go of Self-Limiting Beliefs. Whatever you hear as you grow up, or you hear long or loud enough, you tend to believe. These statements are powerful and can be very productive or destructive. It is up to you to face the fears that are produced by hearing these messages. That’s why I always ask my clients what is it that they need to let go of. Sometimes it is difficult, because these expectations and limiting views are very frequently deep rooted; but unless we uncover them by telling ourselves the truth they are not going anywhere. The first step is to recognize that we believed it when someone told us we are not good, not pretty or smart enough, or that we’ll never get anywhere. Positive affirmations work like a charm after the point of discovery.
10. Care for your InnerSelf. Another big truth here. We all have needs and often these needs go unmet for very long time. As a result, they turn out to fears because they were never addressed to begin with. For instance, you come from a broken home and you have always experienced a need for safety. Nothing wrong with that, until you realize that the only way you know how to satisfy that is by being with someone. Doesn’t matter who, but you cannot be alone. Well, that is when the behavior not only can result in dangerous, but also in self-destructive. However, if you honor that need of your inner child by consciously and deliberately acknowledging that you deserve to feel safe and by building mechanisms to fill that need; little by little you will not feel the fear at that same level.
Something I read recently…”there is no profit in fear, no pleasure in fear and no wisdom in fear.” And I will add “no happiness in fear.”

Summarizing this 2-part series remember the definition of fear has to do with the “sense of discomfort associated with an impended threat, real or imagined.” Any of these 10 techniques will help you to start debunking the pain and discomfort within many of the fears that we experience. This is not to overlook legitimate fears that may require psychological help, but about the fears that keep you from moving forward and realizing your dreams. This is really about acknowledging ways to achieve more by taking action. Every day is a new opportunity to decide to debunk the fears that keep you stuck and paralyzed. Fears will not go away, let’s face it, unless we are deliberate about their extermination. If the stress in your life is caused by your inability to move in the direction of your dreams, if you are stuck from progress because of what you have always believed of yourself or if excuses are your best friends because they keep you safe; then it is time for a debunking experience.

Whether you use any or all of the techniques shared here or whether you choose to continue to read on the subject. Make a decision to face your fears and move through them. It takes courage, and yes it might take time and effort; but imagine the sweet sensation of doing something you didn’t think possible. Imagine the victorious feeling after completing a project you believed to be unachievable; it’s possible! It’s doable! Make a point today to move forward, even with a baby step. One of my favorite quotes “the only way out is through” Move on, move up, move forward…but move.

If you are facing fears and don’t know how to move forward. If you realize that if you were able to overcome those fears you would be happier, richer, more satisfied in life; if you know that your fears are affecting relationships and if you are ready to debunk those fears that are holding you back; Life Coaching might be just what you need.
© 2010 Maria Martinez