My Alcoholic Husband Is Making Me Depressed: How To Deal With A Husband Who Drinks Too Much

It does not matter whether it is illegal drugs, prescribed medications or alcohol. These addictions can easily ruin and end a marriage. In addition to the increased risk of being violent, it is without a doubt that a person who is addicted to anything will not be able to perform all the duties of a spouse. It will also be hard to have any meaningful emotional communication with this person. So, the real question is how do you go about your everyday life while saving your marriage from addictions?

You have to realize the fact that there are people who are more prone to be addicted to something than others. If your spouse is addicted to something then you must take the necessary actions in order to prevent all of this from ruining what you and your spouse have built upon. The key answer to all of these things is to act and you must act now before it is too late. Here are some tips on saving your marriage from addictions.

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The first step is to identify what exactly is your spouse's addiction. This is very hard to do since your spouse will be in denial that he or she is addicted to something. You can also be in denial that your spouse is addicted to something. There are a lot of couples out there who think that their spouse is only dealing with the pressure that one experiences at work. You might be surprised to know that sometimes even a glass of wine a day can be considered alcoholism already. You have to know whether your spouse is being dependent on something or still has the control over these things.

After you and your spouse have identified the problem then the two of you have to be honest with each other. If you are the spouse with the addiction then you should take the necessary steps and accept the fact that you have an addiction. It is only when you have accepted the fact that you can start the path to treating your addiction.

It is a different case when you are the spouse that has discovered the addiction of your loved one. You should not be in denial or think that it's just a phase and your spouse will overcome it. This is not going to help your spouse. You should just be honest with yourself and accept the facts. Only then can you help your spouse in realizing what their addiction is and how it is affecting your marriage. Whoever you are in this situation, you and your spouse have to work together in saving your marriage from addiction.

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Solving marriage problems can sometimes be challenging but can also be fun if you approach it the right way. Couples sometimes are so stressed when dealing with marriage problems that before the solving begins the anger, tension and hostility have already pre-empted the marriage problem solving party.

Imagine taking a different approach to discussing and solving issues in your marriage. What if you were to try some of the following as you resolve issues in your marriage.

Solving Communication Marriage Problems

How about before you discuss ways to resolve or improve communication barriers you agree to do so by taking a bubble bath together (using some of the nice smelling Victoria Secret body wash products)? If a shower would work better than so be it! The point is for you to both be just a little relaxed and for some out of your comfort zone. This could lead to a little more frequent communicating and could improve other areas so you could be solving other marriage problems while resolving this one.

Solving Intimacy Marriage Problems

Maybe take a trip to Victoria Secret (together) and encourage your sweetie pie, honey bunny or whatever you call him to pick out a few outfits for you to wear. Then you can pick out some nice smelling Cologne that you like for him to put on or perhaps some shower gel. Now, the rule to be established is that when the newly purchased outfits are worn or when that particular cologne or shower gel is worn it's a signal or clue that it's about that time. It may not seem as romantic at first but you may soon return to being intimate, with out needing the clues.

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Another thing I would suggest is that at least one night a week commit to watching no TV or using the Computer, Blackberry, iPhone, iPad or any other gadgets and you will both go to bed at the same time. You will either find a way to be intimate or get a great night's sleep.

Solving Conflict Marriage Problems

If conflict is a present in your marriage then take comfort in knowing that you are normal. Anytime two folks are living together and are trying to become as one, there will be problems. Although, conflict is normal it doesn't have to ruin your marriage. Commit to each other that you will be respectful of each other's opinion and honor one another. If you are having problems communicating then see above tip for solving this issue.

Solving marriage problems this way may seem a little odd but if what you have been doing isn't working then you have nothing to lose by trying something different right?

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Learning how to save a relationship is relatively easy when you both want to. Loving each other and wanting to be partners for life is not always enough to keep you together, especially when you have difficulties communicating. There is more to making a long, lasting, loving relationship work than just being together and learning how is the foundation to achieving your desire to be together.

The saying goes that life "happens," and it certainly gets in the way of successful relationships. Some of the things that get in the way are blurred boundaries, not knowing when or how to say "No," tiredness, taking each other for granted, and not saying "I love you" often enough, to name a few.

One of the biggest ones is simply not spending enough quality time with each other where the two of you can truly catch up with each other.

Even if your partner knows that you love them, when they feel like they are always last on your list, they can get to the point when they decide to leave. In the beginning, they may feel proud of your accomplishments, but then loneliness and resentment take over and begin to grow until it has become an insurmountable obstacle. Especially when the position you are in is one that you cannot or will not change any time soon.

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To restore and build a stronger relationship, it is a matter of sorting out your priorities. Make a date with your partner, when you are both free to concentrate only on each other. If you have children, arrange for a sitter and go out for the evening. If you are out somewhere public where you both enjoy being, it will deter you from letting your resentments get out of control.

It is important to express your feelings and frustrations but do it in a calm and respectful way. Own your feelings with "I" statements, for example, "When you frequently work late, I feel lonely and uncared for, and this makes me feel disconnected from you." Avoid blaming each other as this serves no useful purpose and only alienates your partner.

When you have agreed to work on making your relationship good, reassure your partner that you are committed to doing what it takes. One way to get back on track is to organize a regular date night and start doing some of the things you both enjoy together. Another thing you can do is write down some of the things you would like to do, and then take turns in trying these together.

In addition to your list of things to try, make a list of the great things about your relationship and a list of relationship challenges.

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Making time for each other will help you rediscover the flame in your relationship and give you time to share some intimate moments. Working together on your relationship challenges will help to knit you together as you find creative solutions.

When you make your lists be prepared to see the problem and look for the solutions rather than take offense. When you both agree to use this exercise for the betterment of your relationship only, then you can make good ground very quickly. Do not become defensive or try to justify any behavior, simply acknowledge it, accept it, forgive, and move on.

The old wives tale of not letting the sun set on your anger is wise advice. Being kind to one another, and appreciation helps build your relationship on a daily basis, and is a good habit to develop.

When you both take the time to be together and communicate with one another your commitment toward each other will grow and you would have learnt how to save a relationship.

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