Mother’s Blueprint

The role of a mother is critical. One cannot deny the influence they have on their children. April 28th was the fourth anniversary of my mother’s passing. Time has helped to heal part of my crushed heart. I am determined to celebrate her regardless of the pain.
The day she passed is one, I that will forever be etched in my brain. We talked on the phone after church. I had a strong urged to call mother and glad I did. She gave me advice on relationships and shared encouraging words about life. The call ended with me feeling fulfilled.
My sister, Boobie called later that night and shared mother passed. I was in disbelief and felt numb. The rest of the year was a struggle. My days were filled with trying to survive one minute to the next. I knew the holidays would be brutal. I planned productive activities to get through Thanksgiving and Christmas. I needed activities that required a lot of focus. I planned to write an article, cook gumbo, renew my teaching credential and evaluate my personal and professional goals. These along with constant prayer took my mind off of the devastation felt. I was afforded an opportunity to be interviewed on the Mother Love’s Show. I talked about tips for surviving grief during the holidays.
The first year anniversary of mother’s passing, cousin Darryl and I did a live on Instagram in her honor. This empowered and inspired me. I felt hopeful that my heart could be healed.
I also joined two grief share groups and fully participated each session. It was wonderful to be supported and hear others who were grieved. Before I knew it, I was able to sleep through the night. I am grateful to have done my grief work. I have a smile on my face today as I reflect on the sweet memories of mother.
I feel terrific about the time spent with mother. It gives me joy to reflect on our music therapy sessions. I sang with mother to help when she began to lose her memory. I recorded some of our sessions and can her sweet voice anytime. This time was priceless and gives me great comfort!
The value of a mother cannot be rated. Women are especially influential educators. Mothers come in many forms such as foster mother, grandmother, godmother, stepmother, play mother, spiritual mother and more. Some do not have a title but are often mentors. Mothers are the most selfless people on the planet, beginning to love their children before they are born. Nothing in this world compares to a mother’s love since it is the purest kind of love.
Mother left a blueprint that I live by daily. She taught me to:
• Develop a relationship with God and know him for myself.
• Begin my day early and get things done.
• Be okay with not being at every event.
• Value Self-Care with rest
• Stand in my truth
• Be tidy
• Work hard to earn an honest living
• Do not hold grudges and forgive others
• Do not let anything stop me from “making it in” (to heaven)
• Understand the POWER of the tongue
• Use salt pork under my arm for a boil to drain the infection
• Hang out clothes on the line early in the morning

Most of all, mother taught me unconditional love which showed me how to love.
Her wisdom shaped my world from the cradle by rocking, nurturing and instructing me. Her role in my life was endless. She was my doctor, therapist, cook, advisor, hairdresser and seamstress. She was the best role model and teacher. Her care could not be denied.

Mother’s value was beyond rubies. She was a RARE JEWEL and because of this, I am a better person.

Author's Bio: 

• Dr. Sonara, a native of Hattiesburg, Mississippi is a Recording Artist, author, credentialed teacher, Consultant, Toastmasters Silver and the owner of SCB Consulting, a training and development company which focuses on personal wellness.

• She has a BS, MS and a PhD degree in Psychology in 2014 and conducted interviews on the Katrina survivors in Mississippi and Louisiana for her doctoral research.

• She served as advisor for the local AFSCFME Union President for the past 2 years.

• Dr. Sonara created a National Healing Music Project and sent to the Obama Administration as a contribution to President’s well-being initiative.

• She is passionate to empower individuals with Holistic Strategies for wellness and obtained a Mental Health First Aid USA certification from the National Council for Mental Well-being.

• Dr. Sonara’s published articles can be seen on the Self-growth platform.

• Dr. Sonara is working on a book titled, “the Healing Power of Music”.

• She speaks at conventions, conferences, government trainings, small groups and is fulfilled by empowering individuals to use Holistic Strategies for wellness. (You can book Dr. Sonara for your event at (310) 987-1370 or

• She lives by the philosophy, “the more we invest in the lives of others, the less we will be required to pay later”.