After coming to see that he is overly focused on his mother and is neglecting his own life, a man may end up feeling used and betrayed. This is perhaps after he has denied that he is too focused on his mother and is being used.

The reason for this is that coming to terms with what is going on and has been going on for a long time would have resulted in him coming into contact with a number of painful feelings. These feelings, up until this point, would have generally been kept at bay by him being there for his mother.

Fired Up

Now, in addition to feeling used and betrayed, he could experience a fair amount of anger and rage. He could think about how much of his life he has wasted and how he will never get this time back.

This doesn’t mean that he will just be able to implement boundaries and live his own life. No, he could still feel called to be there for her and spend time doing things for her.

The First Step

Still, facing up to what is going on will be a key part of what will allow him to gradually change his life. As if he was unaware of what was going on and was even denying it, he would continue to go down the same path.

By waking up, he will be able to do what he needs to do to gradually move forward. However, when he thinks about what he has been through, there could be moments when he feels like a victim, and it could be said that this won’t be much of a surprise.

A Natural Outcome

He will have just ended up with a mother who used him and won’t have done anything to deserve it, so how else would he feel? When he sees himself in this way, he is likely to feel hopeless and helpless.

During this time, he is not going to feel strong and capable and as though he has the ability to change his life. Most likely, he will feel very low and depressed and believe that he can’t do anything about what is going on.

A Different Angle

Nonetheless, what if it is not this black and white? What if he did play a part in the mother he ended up with and thus, is not simply a powerless victim?

This doesn’t mean that who he is now, chose the mother that he ended up with and what would happen throughout his early years and what he has been through as an adult. What it means is that another part of him, call it his consciousness played a part in the family that he would end up incarnating into.

Way out There

At this point, he might say that there is no such as reincarnation and that he just randomly ended up with the family he had when he was born. If this is how he responds, what he can keep in mind is that he is made of energy and that while his mind will create the impression that he is just an observer of a reality that is solid, this is an illusion; in truth, he is observing a reality that is made up of vibrating energy and he is a co-creator of it.

So, his physical body can die but the energy that supports it cant and the experience that he has is not random. With this in mind, it would be hard to accept that this is his first life and that he just randomly ended up with a certain family.

Going Back

There is a chance that the experiences that he had in his last life were very similar to the experiences that he had throughout his early years and continues to have. Or perhaps to be more precise, the feelings that he experienced were very similar to those he has experienced in this life.

Once this life came to an end, the feelings that this version of him experienced wouldn’t have simply disappeared. Instead, how he felt would have played a part in the family that he would end up being born into and the experiences that he would have; another way of looking at this would be to say that he had a certain level of consciousness in his life and this is what played a part in why he ended up with a family that had a level of consciousness that was very ‘low’.

A New Outlook

If he is on board with this, it doesn’t mean, of course, that his life will just change. But, what it will do is allow him to think about how he is not inherently a victim, even though he has been victimised throughout his life by his mother and perhaps his father, if he was around.

Realising this will allow him to see that while he has often felt powerless, he is not actually powerless. This understating won’t remove all the pain he is in and transform his life, but it will be a key part of what will allow him to step back and see the bigger picture, and thereby gradually move forward.


If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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