After a man, who is emotionally entangled with his mother, comes to see what is going on, he could end up having the need to change his life. Before this takes place, though, he could feel deeply frustrated and totally helpless.

However, after a while, assuming that this doesn’t take place more or less straight away, he could end up looking for a way to change his life. This will show that part of him believes that his life doesn’t have to stay this way forever and that there is a way forward.

A Rush

At this point, he could have such a strong need for his life to change that he might be willing to do just about anything. Furthermore, if he is in a good place financially, he could be only too happy to spend a lot of money in order to achieve this aim.

What could also play a part here is that he could be in his thirties, forties or fifties and believe that he has no time to lose. He could think about how many years have passed him by already without him truly living and not want to wait any longer.

Strong Driver

So, at the back of his mind could be the fear that if he doesn’t get this area handled very soon, his life will be over. He will then miss out on so much and he won’t be able to get any of this time back.

For example, he might want to be in a loving relationship and perhaps have a child or children one day. Currently, each of these might seem like nothing more than a dream as opposed to something that he could actually experience.

A Source of Discomfort

In other words, it will be pain that is driving him, not the thought of how fulfilling his life would be. What could add to this is that some of his male friends and family members could be in loving relationships and perhaps have children.

It could then be as if he is being left behind and he might have felt this way for a number of decades, let alone a number of years. The first thing he could do, when it comes to changing his life, is look for answers online.

One Area

Before long, he could come to the conclusion that he needs to change what is taking place in his mind. His thoughts and beliefs will then need to be changed so that he can live his own life.

Additionally, he could end up setting goals and doing what he can to achieve these goals. If he doesn’t do this all by himself and does reach out for support, he could work with a coach.

Resistance

He might soon be able to see that he has made progress and is no longer as caught up in his mother’s world. This could be a time when he feels greatly relieved and is looking forward to what the future will bring.

Nonetheless, it might not be long until he starts to revert back to how he was before and is pulled back into his mother’s world. If this was to take place, he could feel helpless and believe that his life will never truly change.

Turning Up the Dial

Soon or later, he could do what he can to focus on his own life and resist his need to be there for his mother. This might allow him to make progress but he could soon end up feeling exhausted and he might not be able to keep going.

Thanks to this, he could wonder what he can do to change his life as he might see that, no matter what he does, he can only get so far. Another part of this is that he might have spent a lot of time looking into why he behaves as he does and why his mother is the way that she is but this won’t have had much of an impact – being informed won’t have allowed him to be transformed.

A New Angle

Although this can be a time when he will feel hopeless and helpless, it could be what allows him to gradually change his life and, therefore, something that is positive. The reason for this is that by being this way, he will no longer be in a place of resistance.

What this comes down to is that even though there is nothing wrong with his need to change his life, when this is coming from a place of resistance, it is going to hold him back. Ultimately, what is resisted is what will persist and grow.

A Different Approach

Without realising it, then, he will have been preventing himself from being able to move forward. The trouble is that he is likely to live in a society that is primarily focused on the doing and largely overlooks the being.

This means that using force and willpower, an expression of the masculine, is common, while letting go and surrendering, an expression of the feminine, is uncommon. With this in mind, it will be essential for him to take his foot off the gas, so to speak.

No Resistance

A big part of this will involve him embracing how he feels and working through his emotional wounds. These emotional wounds will be creating conflict inside him and make it hard for him to live his own life.

This is then a time when he is not trying to change what is going on inside him; he is simply embracing how he feels and allowing himself to feel his feelings. This is not to say that he won’t need to do anything, it is just that he won’t be trying to run away from himself or his life.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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