Michael Mantell's Rule When People Suck the Life Out of You: Unsubscribe

Maybe it’s just me. But lately, I’ve run into far too many people who I would best describe as “life-diminishing.” They are filled with judgments, criticisms, and negativity. They are quick to tell others what they must do, what they must refrain from doing, what they should and shouldn’t do, what’s good and not good for them, what is right and what is wrong. As if they know. And besides, who asked them in the first place?
Why are they so worried about what others are doing? Maybe it’d be better if they worried about why they worried so much about what others were doing!
It has been estimated that people have anywhere from 25,000 to 50,000 thoughts a day. If your mind is predominantly negative, imagine how many negative thoughts you are infecting yourself and others with on a daily basis -- thousands upon thousands upon thousands.
It seems there are two groups of people. One group fills the “life-enhancing” column while the other group fills the “life-diminishing” column. Let’s talk about the second group.
These people, life-diminishers, while not affirmatively attacking you, are quietly chipping away at your mood. When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly judge you and are critical of you and of your ideas, your self-esteem can be lowered. They drain your energy, are usually unhappy themselves (and never see it) and seem to attract sickness and misfortune in their lives. They are so busy telling you what you are doing wrong, they just suck the life out of you. Thus, and here’s the shocker, you might be better by removing them from your life.
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?"
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "That's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope came into the room. I knelt down and he spoke a few words, put his hand on my head and blessed me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
He said, "Bless you, my child. But, where did you get the awful hairdo?"
This is something to think about when life-diminishing, negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. Remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less, makes your life miserable.
How do you decide whom to expel? What if a long-term friend, or even a parent, is the source of negativity that is causing you to be anxious, miserable or unhappy? How can you really avoid those who have permanent places in your lives? Can you?
To help answer this question, try to detach yourself from the world of the everyday and look at things in a larger sense. As human beings, we are given the freedom to hand-pick people that contribute to our well being and enrich our lives. We are not physically bound to anyone, and many of the people we interact with every day were not even our choices, but rather the product of our environments. We have no obligation to remain loyal to those who affect us adversely unless we place little value on our happiness.
Certainly, there are situations where it is difficult to implement this philosophy of purifying your social circle. Obligations, of course, are best fulfilled. But I suggest that you examine those obligations very carefully; compare the benefit you receive from them to the amount of negativity they bring into your life. Remember that you do have a right to be happy, and you don’t get too many chances in life to do so. The older you get, the harder it is to recognize and rid yourself of the sentiments that have set into your mind. Don't let life-diminishing people interfere with your most precious natural gift: the capacity to love life.
Have you noticed how you feel when you’re around positive, life-enhancing people? You feel uplifted, refreshed and energized. You learn that life is what you make it and that you make your own “luck.”
Surround yourself with positive, life-enhancing influences while eliminating life-diminishing, negative ones. Don’t watch movies or TV programs about disturbing topics that leave you down. Sure the link is what you think, but what put events, people, situations and things in your life you have to work harder at thinking positively about in the first place? Associate with positive, supportive people. Don’t dwell on the news, especially events that make you feel powerless to influence. Instead, rent funny movies that make you laugh, and read books like my new 25th Anniversary edition of my 1988 original "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff PS It's All Small Stuff." Read inspirational biographies. Stop placing yourself in situations that pull you down and leave you feeling less in love with life. Whatever it is you do, make sure you exercise your life-enhancing choice instead of your life-diminishing choice.