If someone is into self-development, they will have probably heard of the Law of attraction. However, even if someone is not into self-development, there is still the chance that they have heard of it.

This could be a law that they have used to transform their life; then again, it might not have really worked for them. If they have had very little, if any, success with it, they could believe that it doesn’t work.

No Choice

Their life is not going to be how they want it to be and, what they thought would change their life, won’t have had the desired effect. At this point, they could feel totally helpless and wonder if their life will ever change.

What was supposed to work won’t have worked for them, which could make them believe that they have no control over their life. Alternatively, they may have already felt powerless and this will be yet another experience that validates how they see themselves.

A Different Approach

If they are able to get back up again, so to speak, and to have another go, they could come to conclude that they need to ‘be more positive’. Before, they may have often dwelled on ‘negative thoughts’ and this can be seen as the main reason in why this law didn’t work.

So, by doubling down on what they were doing before, they may find that their life gradually begins to change. What they could also find is that although they were doing the right things internally, they were not taking enough action.

Another Factor

If this approach doesn’t have much of an impact and they were to do some more research, they may come to see that their level of deserving is the issue. Perhaps they don’t truly believe that they deserve to experience or to achieve something.

Or, it could be more severe than this and they might not believe that they deserve anything good. Part of them will want one thing but an even bigger part of them won’t truly believe that they deserve it.


Not only will their low or nonexistent self-worth hold them back, it could also play a part in what they desire. Thus, if they were to develop a felt sense of their own worth, they might not desire the same things.

A lot of what they desire could fall away and be replaced by things that are in alignment with their true-self. With that aside, once they start to develop this part of their being, they may find that they start to make progress.

Another Hurdle

At this stage, it could seem as though one is doing all the right things and that they will be able to move forward. Nonetheless, one could still find that only certain parts of their life start to change or it might not change whatsoever.

This could be hard for them to take, especially as they are doing all the ‘right’ things. They could feel completely deflated at this point, believing that there is absolutely nothing that they can do.

An Overlooked Component

There is another thing that needs to be in place and if this isn’t in place, it will be more or less impossible for them to experience or to achieve something. If they don’t have a felt sense of safety, they won’t be able to experience something, and even if they do, it won’t last for very long or it could take an endless amount of effort to sustain it.

What this illustrates is how important it is for them to feel as though it is safe enough for them to experience something. In other words, if something is seen as a threat to their very survival, it won’t materialise; it will just stay as an idea in their own consciousness.

A Clear Sign

A felt sense of safety and even a felt sense of self-worth are a natural consequence of having a ‘good enough’ upbringing. As these two things are not in place, it could show that one’s early years were anything but nurturing.

Maybe, this was a time in their life when they were deeply traumatised. This could mean that they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily, basis, and this would have prevented them from being able to grow and develop in the right way.

Inner Conflict

How they are experiencing life right now, no matter how unpleasant it is, is likely to be what feels safe. Changing their life, on the other hand, irrespective of how much better their life would be will be seen as something that is too much of a risk.

This is not something that is being played out in their conscious mind; this is something that is being played out at the core of their being. For their life to truly change, they will need to get this ‘lower’ part of them on board with the ‘higher’ part of them.


Many years will have passed since their childhood years, yet they will still carry a lot of the trauma that they experienced during this stage of their life. This trauma will need to be resolved in order for their life to change.

This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer. It will be essential for one to be patient and persistent as their life is not going to change overnight.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, five hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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