Magical Conception

It was one good day in October 2004. I had been living in the UK for quite a few years; I had been married and divorced and, as life has it, after the storm comes the calm… after having arrived at the conclusion that I was better off without a man in my life… he arrived.
He didn’t look like anything I was looking for but he was everything I ever wished for.
But in order to accept him in my life, I had to let go of my check list and understand that what is truly important is not that your loved one conforms to your visual and material expectations, but that he or she will fulfil that part of you that is so deep, so longing to be loved, accepted and acknowledged… that only one person in the world can actually bring it out into life.

We talked about homes. We talked about countries (he is South African, me Spanish). We talked about marriage. We got engaged after… the short period of time of 6 years! (They say South African men like taking things slowly…). We talked about children.

We decided the UK wasn’t the right place for us to bring up children. I had been very happy in this country for many years… but people change; things change; countries change… and it just felt right to move on.
So it was one good day in October 2004 that I woke up and said we are leaving.
Don’t ask me why. Don’t ask me how. All I will be able to answer you is I just knew.
It was July 2005 and we arrived in Cape Town one good day. By the way, if you believe in coincidences (I call them synchronicities or coincidences with a meaning) I arrived in the UK on the 10th of July of 1988 and I arrived in South Africa on the 10th of July 2005 (unplanned!). Same date, just 17 years later!
Since it was July, I thought I would give myself a 6 month opportunity until the end of the year in order to settle and didn’t put any demands on myself. However, I knew that when the following year arrived, things would change. Things would have to move on.
I had never talked about children to anyone because I didn’t think I could really have them! I did hope to have at least one. I hoped to know first hand what parenting was about. I hoped to be granted the honour of guiding a little soul into this confused world. A being of light that could help the new generations make a better world. And I hoped that what I felt were so many years of a life I had already lived would bring some wisdom, guidance and balance to this special little soul.

So I never talked to anyone about children because I didn’t want to get my heart broken if it indeed wouldn’t happen. But, you see, I believe in miracles…
Spirit called me once again, as It did when I was asked to come to South Africa. And again, I listened.
Spirit said It is time.
Don’t ask me why. Don’t ask me how. All I will be able to answer you is I just knew.

But the odds were against me. I was 40 years old. I hadn’t gone to a gynaecologist since the age of 14 when I went to one for the first and last time; not an experience I ever wanted to repeat!
I am also not your Mother Earth type. I am not a woman who talks to all the new mothers or mothers to be about their toddlers and pregnancies! If I ever got caught in a baby conversation of any kind, I would always find the way to slip away quietly into a more interesting conversation.
I am more like Fire (my job is to ignite the personal power in others) and I am Water (I connect and flow with Spirit, following my guided path, not necessarily my Will’s path or the easiest path…).
To the outside world, I didn’t seem the type who would want a baby. And after all these years, everyone in my family and circle of friends had taken for granted that I wouldn’t be interested. But who really knows what is hidden in the depths of a person’s heart?

I was also going through a really bad time at home. We moved in with my mother-in-law because our home was being totally redone – it was a lovely flat, with a lot of potential, but in desperate need of a total overhaul. So, against all our best instincts, we moved in.
She had a real bad vibe towards me. She was creating a very difficult atmosphere in the house. The level of stress I was under was totally indescribable. Not the most favourable condition to get pregnant!

But I was focused on my goal. Spirit had spoken. I knew the time was right.
My one condition to Spirit: don’t make this a long process. Don’t drag this matter. Don’t break my heart.
I was guided to go into the internet and look into conception. I don’t normally go into the internet to look for information. But this day, I did.
Don’t ask me why. Don’t ask me how. All I will be able to answer you is I just knew.

It was February 2006. I had come from my holidays in Spain a few days before and I was focused on getting pregnant. I was going to be 41 in a couple of months and I didn’t particularly want too much hassle and effort on this matter. I didn’t want to denaturalize the love in my relationship by putting my loved one and myself through attempting something that perhaps nature had already decided it wasn’t for us.
So I gathered my faith and I went to research in the internet.

The first thing I found was the concept of Lunar Conception:
“Scientific research has shown that the moon has a direct effect on the reproductive cycles of many living creatures on Earth”.
Then, I came across the concept of The Natal Lunar Fertile Phase: “re-discovered by Czech psychiatrist Dr Eugene Jonas in the 1950's, he observed the frequent failure of the rhythm method and its damaging psychological effects first hand.[…]Each month, when the moon returns to this same position (as it was at your birth), it can trigger your body to spontaneously ovulate, even if this time occurs outside your normal mid-cycle fertile time. […] You experience heightened fertility when your mid-cycle ovulation is synchronized with your natal lunar fertile phase. By synchronizing the two cycles in this way, you maximize your chances of getting pregnant”.

I am lucky that I have perfect regular cycles of 25 days. I had read that from the days 14 to 16 of your cycle, you were at your most fertile. But then, again guided, I discovered that in a shorter cycle like mine, the really fertile days are 11, 12 and 13.
I also found out that on my date of birth there was a Full Moon. So all I needed was a Full Moon on the 12th day after my period has started and, possible, on a weekend! My partner has a really stressful job and I wasn’t ready to put any more stress on him, not physical, not emotional. I just didn’t think it would be a good beginning for a little being of light!
For me, if Spirit works with you, you know that it will happen in a natural and effortless way… that is if we don’t resist, push, try, effort, will or force things!

Valentine’s day seemed a lovely day. But it really it was the 14th day after my previous period. I wasn’t sure – would it be too late? Should I risk it? And it was a Tuesday. Although it was indeed a Full Moon…

My left brain came into play… I needed a contingency plan… you know, a plan B; maybe not the best case scenario just in case things don’t go as planned (which they don’t normally do!). But sometimes, when we deflect tension, focus and energy from the main objective, we tend to create the space for the very same thing that we want to actually happen! We kind of give it space to breathe and manifest it…
So I pushed it to the 12th February, Sunday, not quite Full Moon… but pretty close for someone not versed in the science of the skies!

Within the environment of the house in which I was living I created a small environment inside our bedroom. I sealed the walls and door with love. I lighted some candles. We could see the Moon from the window.
I remember the feeling of peace sweeping over me. I totally blocked out the outside of this room. Any bad vibes, any disruptive events in the outside world … just didn’t exist, because this room was my world at that moment.

You must understand: it is not as if I tried to close out anything external. I was just pulled into this feeling of love, which protected me and prevented anything of any lesser vibration disturbing the work of Heaven and Earth taking place.

I am very aware that circumstances may never be right or perfect for life-changing choices like this one. But I am also very aware that one must get on with what one has at the present time. Because It Is What It Is. And that is all I had: I had the love of my partner. I had the guidance and power of Spirit within me. I had Faith. And I believed in miracles. I went to sleep.

13 days later I was expecting my period but all I got is what they call spotting: just some drops resulting from the embryo being implanted in your uterus. I was really baffled – I really was expecting more signs of a period but nothing seemed to happen. What did happen, however, was this cramping feeling. I was 100% certain that my period was on its way. Or so I thought.

I waited 5 days and then I heard Spirit saying to me take a pregnancy test. I responded that no way I am going to take a test that is going to be negative, which is going to break my heart!
But, yet again, Spirit impulses me with such force that I found myself in the pharmacy and suddenly I had a test in my hand.
OK, I thought, I may as well…
To my surprise, and that of all who know me, I was indeed pregnant.

And do you know the most startling thing of it all? I have never used any contraception methods… ever!