Spring is one of my favorite seasons. Here in the east, the burst of green, trees' bare branches now barely visible due to the leaves’ lushness, the bird’s nests, the squirrels and birds alighting the branches for a view of what food they might find. The resplendence of Nature.
A rich time of year, hinting at all the new potentials.

As I was walking my dog friend one lovely spring morning, we came upon a young,  juvenile robin, injured, unable to fly.   Recognizing that several prowling cats live outside the homes right there, I scooped her up into my arms, held her close in to my chest so she could be calmed by my heartbeat, and took her home with us.  

She settled in, did not struggle, sensing the offering of gentle assistance.  

Unable to reach the local wildlife rescue person, I decided to keep her with me until I could.  She sat in a spacious bird cage, outdoors on my deck, safe from marauding cats.  (Note: I also have a cat, I love cats~ just am not thrilled about the ones who hunt and kill the birds on an ongoing basis outdoors, unsupervised.    I love the birds as well).  

I sat nearby so I could keep a eye on her.  I could sense her happiness and peace.  She genuinely enjoyed being "with" the other birds that visited my birdfeeders, the enjoying being near the trees, the lake.  I sensed she wanted to remain at her home, on the lake. 

As a registered nurse, I have provided hospice care. My specialty was maternal~infant nursing. I so loved assisting and educating new parents, generally such a happy time. Periodically, I would work in other areas, hospice being an area I chose for several reasons, personally and professionally. People who remain in their own home environments experience a peaceful transition. They feel better being in their own environment, rather than a sterile, clinical place, that may provide excellent medical care... it’s just not home.

Throughout the day, into the evening, and yes, I even awoke several times in the night to check on her in my bathroom, where I had safely moved her to after it got dark.  She kept letting me know she was at peace, had no needs.  Throughout the day and night, I tried feeding her water and food. Water she accepted, food she spit out.

Her injuries were pretty severe~ I believe she had internal as well as the external injuries that were evident. When I went to check on her while it was the deep stillness of the night, right before the dawning of the new day, she continued to look serene and content.  

As I lay back down in my bed, I sensed that I was to accept, be okay, if she chose to pass on.  I was not to take it personally, not to feel guilty, to know that this was why she came to me... and that she was receiving a great gift through being with me... and I, her.

I was enveloped in an overwhelming sense of peace, as I slipped into a deep sleep.  When I awoke in the light of day, she was laying restfully on her side, "gone."

~  When I was in my young teens, I was walking home from the bus stop, and I came upon an injured bird.  As a child, all sorts of thoughts flooded my mind:  Do I take the bird home & have my mom yell at me for picking up a possibly diseased bird?  Do I leave the bird and get railed for leaving it?   For a young teen, it was an existential dilemma for me.  I stood there for a long while contemplating.

I finally decided to run home, ask my mom, then, with permission, I could run back the two blocks & bring the bird home.  

When I got home & asked my mother, she was upset I left it there. She said things I don't remember now.

All I remember was the guilt and deep sadness I felt when I returned to the injured bird who had passed in that brief interim.  I actually felt it was my fault the little bird had died. The guilt and shame was so heavy... and such a strong emotion that had colored portions of my life and my decisions.  

The fear of doing the "wrong" thing, not choosing correctly...
The self~blame, self~judgement...

~~ In present day, I realized, this sweet robin had come to me to heal this lifetime pattern of hurt, guilt and shame.  She came to me to let me know I helped her... and that I had helped that other bird all those many years ago.  That other bird from my childhood would have "died" even if I had brought it home.  I was not to carry that guilt and shame another moment!      All those years of feeling such regret and guilt...  Lifted, cleared.  

~~~  Upon seeing my little robin friend that morning, I knew I had to honor her life.  I did a releasing of her spirit back to the birds and the sky, and wrapped her little body that held held her determined spirit in a silk cloth.  I buried her body with love and honor amidst flowers alongside the waters' edge.

My dog and I then went for our usual morning walk.  Upon returning home, I was amazed and brought to tears.  There were five robins on the ground in my small front yard.  I could feel them paying homage to the lovely robin.  I was so touched and grateful.

Living in cooperation and respect with Nature...

~~~~  It's amazing what meanings we can and do put on experiences.  As children, we are young, naive, innocent, and do not understand the full situation.  We may mis~hear, mis~understand, mis~interpret, something an authority figure, like a parent or teacher says.

~~~~~  Inspired Query:

Is there something from your childhood that you misunderstood that is creating blocks and struggles for you today?

Ask yourself, what your current issues are... and where they first appeared in your life.  

You can, in the now moment, look upon the event, with new eyes, understanding, compassionate heart, and see and  acknowledge the truth of the situation, as I did with the birds.

Author's Bio: 

Amelia Piorko, R.N. offers health and wellness sessions that are holistic in nature. Her heartcentered business is aptly named, "Joies de Vivre," Joys of Living. Examining deeper into the surface appearance of things, the struggles, blocks, frustrations, sessions provide the bigger picture, of what is truly going on in your life, which then facilitates opening to the solution, the healing. For more info, kindly contact Amelia at ameliaheart@gmail.com, or www.ameliaheart.com