Anger is normal and even healthy when used as a catalyst for change and growth. The problem arises when we allow ourselves to get stuck in anger and the story that’s behind it. In the beginning, we may fool ourselves into believing our anger is directed outward, but over time we are the primary victim of this destructive force as it clouds our vision, penetrates our bodies and radiates from our being. There comes a point, for our own well being, that we must release our anger, change our perception and move on.

So how do we release our anger when we feel so consumed by the wrongs we have suffered? The first step is to explore your anger.

One day Brad, my ex, dropped by my house and our conversation led to an angry outburst from me. Even though it actually felt good to release all that anger, I thought, “Wow, where did that come from?” So, over the next few days I did some soul searching and uncovered the source of my anger.

When we divorced we did our best to divide our assets and our future income equally. Unfortunately things didn’t work out as planned and my financial situation suffered. Who better to blame then Brad?

Rather then continue with this line of thought, I decided to take full responsibility for my situation, apologized to Brad for the outburst and created a new business plan that would not only improve my financial status, but would also be more in line with who I am and what I want.
It was amazing how much lighter and freer I felt once I took responsibility. The anger was gone and with it one of the last energetic ties between us. I had known there was still some “letting go” to do in regards to my relationship with Brad, what I hadn’t realized was that it had to do with anger, not love. Letting go of the anger set me free.

Taking responsibility puts us back in control. We’re no longer the victim, can regain our personal power, and take the steps needed to create the life of our dreams.

So, explore your anger. Ask yourself what’s beneath it? Is it anger, hurt or frustration? Ask yourself what part you’ve played in creating this outcome or situation. See if taking full responsibility for the circumstance you find yourself in sets you free.

© Copyright 2013 – Cheryl Coffey, Sticky Note Coach ™, All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

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Cheryl Coffey, creator of Growing Beyond Divorce, is a Coach, Mediator, Trainer and Advocate who has a knack for getting to the heart of the matter. She intuitively picks up on her client’s core issues by recognizing the deeper meaning behind their words. She is direct, yet compassionate as she helps her clients build a firm foundation, clarify their dreams and turn their pain into possibilities.