Years ago, I could not find my feelings.

I could give you words for miles, but I couldn’t tell you how I felt.

Even in romantic settings I didn't know how to say what I felt.

This is all in hindsight.

Once I understood that at any given moment there's a mixture of feelings going on inside of me, I felt excited to FEEL STUFF.

And yet, it was still difficult to speak my true feelings.

I felt shy,
I felt embarrassed, and
I felt a little exposed.

I'd practiced standing in a full length mirror and saying what I felt.

I stammered, I felt frustrated but I didn't give up.

I practiced this every week.


It was indeed a process.


You start somewhere deep in your chest, or in your stomach . . . you start where you're feeling stuff.

Feel everything going on inside of you, find a feeling that feels good to say (this may take some practice), and then feel the feeling that's dominating at the moment.

Here's another approach to finding your feelings.

Imagine a stewing pot. Remember, the old fashioned cast iron pots with the heavy cast iron lids?

Imagine that you're making a stew or soup inside of this stewing pot, full of fresh vegetables, herbs, spices, meat with a few potatoes or a little rice.

Now imagine this stewing pot has all of your feelings in it - angry, sad, mad, glad, happy, curious, wonderful and more.

All of the ingredients are your feelings.

When you spoon out a bit of the stew or soup, you get more than one ingredient, right? The same thing happens with feeling your feelings. You are always feeling more than just one thing.

The best way to do this is to slow down and experience each moment at a time.

Meaning that you focus and observe your environment, your body, your breathing and feel exactly what you're feeling.

Examine every feeling and go a little deeper each time.

It's important to NOT be in a rush, because you want to search your feelings.

You want to go through the process of going deeper to find the mixture of feelings you're experiencing at that moment.

Take your time with this. Practice it. You'll find that you feel more comfortable and it gets easier the more you practice.

Soon, you'll start to notice changes:

You'll begin to see a pattern of feeling words that feel right to you,

You'll become more comfortable finding your feelings.

Author's Bio: 

Tatia Dee is a Life & Relationship Coach with a practice focused on helping women achieve the love and life they want in a quick, powerful and successful way. You can learn more about Tatia at