To Know My Enemy

Subconscious Wounds

Everyone doesn’t like his company because of his sarcastic way in expressing his opinion. Everybody avoids him not to get a burst of his anger or to get hurt by his words. This is the opinion people have about him, that he is someone that they should avoid.

But when we look inside him we aren’t going to find that evil person but instead we will find a wounded helpless person. Long ago he started a relationship with a girl but things ended up so fast and he was dumped by her. But this is not everything, almost 2 months before it he received a rejection letter from the company he wished to work for.

And since then, he started to be sarcastic, became bad tempered and a bit unfriendly. Although he did forget about being dumped and about his shattered dreams of working in a big company there was still something inside him affecting his behavior, it was the feeling of being defeated. Although he never felt it consciously his subconscious mind was crying from the pain.

What’s Bothering Him

Like thousands of people do this guy never faced himself with the truth and he just kept mocking and screaming at everyone around him. He thought that by doing so he would be releasing some of the pain held inside him. But this is not how pain can be released; his pain will only go when he directs his anger towards finding a new job and starting a new successful relation. And that won’t happen before he confesses to himself that there are other things that are responsible for his bad temper other than his friends and the people around him.

He will only be able to relief this pain when he determines his real enemy and not when directs his anger towards the innocent people around him. This man needs one thing in order to control his life and to relief his pain, he needs to know his enemy then direct his anger towards it.

He didn’t become broken because he loved her but he felt so because he had a self confidence problem, he thought that being dumped meant that is not that attractive.
He didn’t become depressed because he lost the job but because he felt that his skills would lead him to nowhere else.

His real enemies were his lack of self confidence and his lack of skills yet it appeared to everyone as if he is a bad tempered mad person.

Know Your Enemy

What about You? How many times have you treated someone badly because you were already feeling bad?
How many times have you shouted at other car drivers because your boss shouted at you that day?
How many times have you taken drugs just to escape from your emotional pain?
How many times have you been sarcastic because you were already feeling bad?

In all of these cases your bad behavior was not a result of meeting those people nor because of becoming mad of their attitude but it was the result of having other enemies that you are afraid to turn your back to. In all of these cases you were fighting the wrong enemies and that’s why your pain persisted and that’s why it didn’t go. Because you were fighting someone who didn’t mean to harm you while leaving the real enemy hitting you at your back.

Declare the War

Get a piece of paper now and write down everything that is bothering you. Trace it to the root and you will find the real reason behind it, and this real reason is going to be your enemy.

as for the man in the story above his enemies were lack of self confidence and lack of soft skills. He should declare a war by reading as much as he can about self confidence, by attending courses and seminars about self confidence, by buying CDs and watching videos about self confidence.

He should declare a war by learning additional soft skills, by sacrificing one or two of his weekends to learn a new skill or by sacrificing one or two hours of sleep in order to read more about communication skills.

Only then his bad emotions will go away and only then happiness will visit him again. Don’t waste your energy and your efforts pushing against the wall, unless you fight your real enemies your pain will linger there. Know your Enemies and declare a way against them by taking actions.

The Enemy Within

Sometimes the real enemy is not found anywhere in the external world but its found inside you. Lack of self understanding, lack of self confidence and having irrational fears are all examples of enemies that lie within. In this case doing something other than understanding your own self will not remove the pain. You should be optimistic because you will find in 2knowmyself all the information needed to give you this solid self understanding that will you let conquer the enemy within.