Kicked Out Of Bed!

Kicked Out Of Bed!

MY CRIME? SNORING!

(This is a true story. The names have been changed to protect the snorer and his wife.)

I love sleeping next to my wife, but she just kicked me out of our bed! I can’t imagine
what I possibly could have done that would cause her to take such a drastic action. I knew I hadn’t cheated on her. I knew I was a pretty good lover. I knew I paid all our bills on time. What could have possibly led her to throw me out of my own bedroom, and onto -- you guessed it -- the couch?

Well, I guess I should have known. Ellie sometimes complained about my snoring, but
that was about as far as it went. This time was different. She was really upset. After
much coaxing, Ellie finally told me what I really didnt want to hear – my snoring was driving her crazy. She said it had gotten worse. It wasn’t just a minor audio sound. She said, now it was as loud as a huge jet taking off on a runway.

Ellie explained that she could not go into another morning business meeting half asleep. Unfortunately, we need both incomes to keep us afloat. So, I realized I had to do something about my snoring and quick! Besides, the couch was not the most comfortable place to sleep, and I wanted re-entry back into my bed with Ellie.

I first called our family doctor to find out what he would recommend. He immediately asked me to come in for a complete physical check-up. He said there might be something causing my snoring of which he wasn’t aware. I guess I was lucky because I checked out fine. So, next he suggested finding a sleep clinic to let them diagnose my condition.

After calling two clinics for references, I talked to a number of people who had attended one or the other. I can report I made a wise choice. I learned a lot about snoring, like: About half of all adults snore occasionally, and one out of four snores regularly. They said that snoring was more prevalent in men than in women. However, once a woman reaches menopause, these females catch up with the numbers in men.

Another statistic they threw out was that 60% of men over 40 snore, as do 40% of women. Some other valuable information: Habitual snorers are twice as likely to have high blood pressure as non-snorers. Other side effects include the two dangerous “D’s” -- Diabetes and Depression.

The experts also explained that snoring is generally associated with the upper airway resistance syndrome. The one thing I feared was being diagnosed with sleep apnea, ‘cause that has serious consequences. Thankfully, I was cleared of that. I just needed to try some of the following suggestions that might start reversing my snoring. Here’s the list:

1. Do not take sleeping pills.
2. Do not use alcohol.
3. Do not smoke.
4. Lose weight if you are overweight.
5. Try elevating your head, either by using many pillows, or sleep in a recliner chair.
6. Try sleeping on your side.
If you are used to sleeping on your back, try the 3 tennis ball trick – Select a tight
tee shirt. If you are lucky enough to have a spouse who sews, have he or she sew a
pocket on the center back of the shirt, with an opening at the top. Stuff 3 tennis balls
in the pocket. This is supposed to keep you off your back.
Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) is considered the most used treatment.
I’d have to attach a mask to my nose before I go to bed. A small compressor would
deliver air at above room temperature. This increased air pressure would assure me
of keeping my airways open so I can breath and sleep normally.

First, let me tell you I lost a night’s sleep when I found out that device would cost me $800. I gotta admit I’m tight. $800 was more than I wanted to spend on me. Besides, you have to wear a mask which attaches to a hose that shoots air down your passages to keep them open. So rather than go the expensive route first, l decided to try some of the easier ones, like stop drinking alcohol. Tough to do, but I did it.

Going down the list: I stopped smoking years ago, that was no problem, and neither were the sleeping pills. Never took any – remember, I always slept. Then I used my regular pillows to jack up my head. I did try sleeping on my side, not successfully. So Ellie sewed that pocket on my tee shirt to put the 3 tennis balls inside. I gotta tell you, it was so uncomfortable that I took the darn thing off. But then I thought about Ellie, and I returned to the torture chamber the following night.

After several nights of not sleeping because of the discomfort, I decided to look for alternatives. Went on the internet and found Sleep by World Experts. Looked up their product page and found a great alternative. I discovered a product that offers many items for snorers and costs a smidgeon of that $800.
After I ordered one of the products, which worked well, I started reading some of the articles with information from World Experts. I guess I didn’t realize what a critical part Sleep plays in our lives. I bet like you and me, I sorta take sleep for granted. You know, you spend the day working, or playing, or taking care of kids, or whatever. Then later you eat dinner, watch a little TV, read a book, and go to bed – to Sleep. Now that I understand the serious consequences of not sleeping well, I’ve decided I will do all that I can to eliminate my snoring, not only for Ellie, but for myself as well.
By the way, my name is Samson. Ellie calls me Samson the Snorer, but not for long. To close, I’ve changed that old saying:

“Laugh and the world will smile with you. Snore and you’ll sleep alone.”