It’s not that you’re incompatible and should break up because it’s too much, it’s that your souls have chosen to liberate so fully though the partnership and the big chunks of karma/trauma you’re working through need a level of curation, holding and expertise few have been trained to bring into relationship practice.

But how?

You start by letting go of the stories you’ve made out of the ‘too muchness or too intense or too overwhelmingness’ of the relationship.

You recognize those as being false stories that one or the two of you made up, in earnest, to try to contain what hasn’t felt containable, manageable, and processable.

Keyword, ABLE.

As in, have the capacity to do so.

And you both let yourself see that because you are BOTH so passionate, so driven, and so desiring of goodness that when it doesn’t translate in love, it lights you both up THAT much. You both actually DO want the same things enough, and there is much love there, and seeing that it’s about ability, not some proclamation or sentence on the viability of your relationship, is HUGE.

THAT, is not a problem, unless the mind makes it one, which it will if there is not enough support.

Ability can be learned, conditioned, and practiced.

And so often what I see is that the intensity or overwhelm is because that ability hasn’t been born yet, but both of you deep down really WANT it to be born. Why else would you have the conflict that you do so ‘intensely’?

Getting on the same TRUTH page about that is hugely de-intensifying and calms things down quite a bit.

And you let this truth be reflective of how deep you both are. And how much the relationship serves to illuminate the power of your love, your good desires, and how badly you want things in the way to be liberated.

You remember (through coming into awareness of this in your body), how much the relationship path IS a liberation, freedom, or growth path for you, a path to develop freedom, consciousness, healing, and all the other amazing things you both want, that again, are so so SO good.

This is what made the attraction so compelling to begin with. This truth of desiring freedom, of experiencing profound love, and unmistakable soulmate or twin flame connection.

The false story that it’s all too much starts to fade away. It recedes. Because it was never true to begin with.

And the support that you need to truly shepherd the intensity, overwhelm, and apparent too muchness of the relationship gets legitimized, brought in, and actually felt…

FELT and SENSED….in the body!

- Deep inside the overwhelm
- Deep inside the too muchness
- Deep within the intricate knots of frustration and pain you’re experiencing
- Deep within the nuances of communication, disconnection, and longing
- Deep into the conditioning, karma, and the liberation desires you both have


Changes absolutely everything!

Receiving the necessary layers of support to help you both become masters at being able to navigate BIG multi-dimensional and often complex energies that a truly liberating partnership can bring is absolutely key.

And from what I see in the online space, most programs address just one dimension, like mindset, or communication skills, single focus relationship classes, a book, or quick fixes, but they do not focus on making the work wholly SUSTAINABLE, which leads you right back to the overwhelming stories and more tragic, the let’s break up conversation.

Liberation, freedom and the embodiment of love and real regulation inside the overwhelm is not a light little weekend dalliance.

Having multiple layers of expert support inside the layers of all those nooks and crannies in the muddy spots, support that really sees you, that’s highly nuanced and sensitive, deeply somatic, that’s spiritually understanding, and deeply dignifying is critical and the linchpin to success.

And when you embrace the release of the stories, the embodiment of what’s really going on, and the receiving of the intricate curated layers of support in all the edgy spots, you get SUSTAINABLE love, and very often deeper...soul mate love, the kind that makes partnership truly worth being in and doing the work to receive.

In my three months program, The Marriage & Relationship Blueprint, we work on transforming overwhelm, intensity, and almost breaking up-ness, into sustainable and soulful love and partnership that’s a true vehicle for liberation, freedom, and a potent crucible for transformation. When this happens, watching sustainable intimacy, love, and closeness expand is the biggest gift of all. PM me ( if you’re interested and we’ll have a quick chat to see if it’s a fit.

Author's Bio: 

Known as The Intimacy Alchemist & Creator of Soul-Satisfying Love, Sex & Closeness', Joanna turns 30 years of counseling practice into a simple system that helps couples bring back the loving they enjoyed as newlyweds in as little as 2-3 weeks!