Is Your Inner Dialogue Chaotic?

Have you ever tuned out of a conversation because you're more involved in the discussion going on in your head? Did you find yourself getting irritated at the person droning on because it's distracting you from that argument raging within you?

You're not alone in feeling as though your inner dialogue is chaotic. Instead of constantly trying to drown things out, you find yourself turning everything down instead. All you want is to indulge those chaotic thoughts. You convince yourself that by arguing it out you'll come to a solution, instead you find yourself at an impasse.

The Inner Voice

The reality of the matter is the majority of people are fueled by the voice in their head. That nonstop stream of thoughts. It's worth noting that the most negative thoughts seem to come through loud and clear, while the positive ones whisper too quietly for you to make them out.

Often, that inner dialogue is humiliating, it's panic-ridden and defeatist. It wants to tear you down, drag you out, and leave you to suffer. It's tumultuous, creating chaos in your mind. That inner dialogue is driving your life and where do you think you're going if you're being driven by chaos and negativity? It's tough, but the only way to pull through it is to stay calm and override the chaos.

Where does this voice come from? It's built from birth. You absorb the tones of a teacher, the exasperated chiding from an angry parent or the put-downs of an unkind elder sibling. All of these external influences shape your inner dialogue. Unfortunately, we often absorb the negativity and allow it to take a prominent position, completely drowning out any positive voices trying to whisper in our ears. This is especially true when it's an authority figure who repeats this message and it gets lodged in your inner dialogue.

The only way to counter this chaotic inner dialogue is by changing the way you think. This is an active task that you must undertake with intention. If you set about intentionally changing how you think and speak to yourself, you will notice a change in your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. Your inner dialogue can build you up or it can tear you down.

Changing the Dialogue

It's a difficult thing to do, to flip the script. It's easier to fall back on the negative voice of your parent berating you for something when you were seven than it is to nurture the positive voice of that same parent praising you for something that same day. The brutish voices rise above the chaos and speak the loudest. The kind tone and words fade into the background.

Is Your Inner Dialogue Chaotic?

What causes chaotic inner dialogue? In addition to the past shaping it, it is often driven by stress. It manifests into chaotic, bullying inner-dialogue. There is this sense of injustice we feel, for whatever reason, and it's difficult to overcome that when the blows keep coming.

So, how can you tell whether your inner dialogue is truly chaotic? A good test would be to look at your life. Is it chaotic? Is it making you miserable? Do you feel unhappy with your actions, thoughts, words, and choices? If so, then there's a good chance your inner dialogue is chaotic. If you shush people to retreat to the arguments in your head, if you struggle to focus on tasks because those voices are too loud… then, your inner dialogue is chaotic. And, the more you keep your focus on the chaos, the more you will get – it’s the law of attraction at work.

But, It doesn't have to be this way. It is possible to change your inner dialogue to a more positive tone. It takes a lot of practice and you will need to consistently correct it with stopping the negative and then replacing them with positive thoughts and affirmations. Having some stress management techniques to help calm your emotions to further control your inner dialogue will also help to calm the chaos before it gets out of control and rules your life.

If you’re feeling stressed and in chaos, reach out to learn about our Stress-Less program before it overtakes you.

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Barbara Seifert, CPC is focused on enhancing leadership skills, from entrepreneurs and small business owners to C-level executives. As leadership starts in the mind, she uses brain-based techniques to achieve measurable and lifelong improvements in performance, which leads to more career advancement, money, greater satisfaction, and achieving personal and professional success to be more effective in a leadership role. Areas of focus: leadership development & skill enhancement; mindset/emotional intelligence; employee engagement; performance, stress management/work-life balance.

She provides training and presentations that support leaders and their teams to be more cohesive, higher performing, as well as creating a fun culture. Several topics of focus right now include helping leaders to have 'grit,' or resilience through adversity; stress management; and women's empowerment.

Barbara holds a Ph.D. in Leadership & Education, with a specialization in Human Resource Development; she is Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and holds certifications in Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) and Law of Attraction. She is a writer and speaker, appearing on TV and radio, and in print, and is a contributing author to 4 books. Barbara has coached at conventions on career development. She is an adjunct professor for two universities, where she teaches MBA students in organizational and career topics. She is an avid dancer, traveler, and loves her Pittsburgh Steelers.