When we are in the midst of life trauma it is very difficult to feel anything but the pain, hurt and disappointment related to that time in life. But very often, looking back in hindsight, we can find meaning, relevance, valuable lessons and insights that were the direct result of that drama. Without that life-altering event we would not become the more aware, compassionate and wise person we are today.

Many people look upon that result as the “gift” they received from that event – the wisdom they gleaned, the turning point they needed to move on to a new chapter in their lives. They look back and can say while the lesson was tough, they don’t regret the experience.

Look for the Reward

I believe divorce, illness, the loss of a job or death of a loved one can be seen as one of those “gifts” and life lessons if we choose to look for the reward. What did you learn as a result of that situation? Who are you today that you would not have been had you not gone through that challenge?

Do you see inner wisdom or strength that makes you proud? Have you made decisions that are more supportive of your life and values? Do you like yourself better? Have you found new career directions, new faith or new meaning in life as a direct result of your trauma?

If you can’t yet answer yes to any of these questions, give yourself time. Perhaps you have not fully moved through the inner and outer transitions resulting from your challenge. Perhaps you are still holding on to resentment, anger, jealousy or other negative emotions that are keeping you from experiencing the freedom from old programming and patterns.

Let Go of Past Hurts

I believe there can be a gift in every tough experience in our lives – if we choose to find and see it. And why shouldn’t we put our energy in that direction? What good does it do to hold on to a past that has slipped away – or to people who are not giving us the love and support we deserve? When we let go of the past, we open the door to a new future – and only then can we empower ourselves to create that future as a much better outcome for ourselves and those we love.

Everything that occurs in our lives can have a hidden gift. If you speak to someone who has survived illness, divorce or loss of a job and has gone on to create a vibrant life based upon their own passions and values, they will certainly tell you that their challenge was a catalyst to bringing out the best in them. That may not be true for you right now, but there is a lesson waiting for you to acknowledge. Oftentimes it takes a good whack on the head to awaken us to life’s possibilities for increasing our own happiness.

When you search for the gifts from your challenge it can become another step toward a positive outcome related to that life trauma.

Successful recovery takes commitment, conscious awareness and much inner work. It isn’t easy -- but the rewards can be considerable and long lasting. Ultimately you will see valuable outer rewards.

Don’t be afraid to go within and plant the seeds for the tomorrow you dream about. Seek out the support of a counselor or coach who can provide new insights as well. With love, patience and gratitude you can overcome life traumas and move on to embrace a new and very rewarding future.

Author's Bio: 

Rosalind Sedacca, CDC is the founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, a Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach and author of the acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids About The Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide To Preparing Your Children -- With Love! To get her free ebook, coaching services, expert interviews, programs, e-courses and other valuable resources on divorce and co-parenting, visit: http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.