What is clear is that if a house doesn’t have strong foundations, it probably won’t stay in place for very long. Or, if it does, it will be in for a rough ride as will the people who live in the house.

Another example would be the difference between someone being on a rubber dinghy and being on a cruise ship. When it comes to the former, they will be thrown all over the place even by small waves, whereas when it comes to the latter, even the bigger waves won’t even have much of an impact on them.

Back To the Self

In the same way, when someone has a good level of inner security, their life will be a lot easier than it would be otherwise. The reason for this is that, like a house with firm foundations, they won’t constantly be thrown around by the outside world.

They will know what it feels like to feel calm and at ease, allowing them to experience inner peace. Also, being this way on the inside will mean that they won’t have endless inner gales to deal with that would make what is going on externally, that’s when they do have a challenge, seem even worse than it actually is.

Inner Strength

Without a doubt, there is enough going on in the world without one making it even worse than it is by generally being all at sea internally. Being this will make it easier for them to make good decisions and to take action.

Thus, they will be able to take care of their ‘higher’ needs as opposed to being focused on their survival. Another way of looking at this would be to say that they will be resilient and able to thrive.

Another Reality

However, although this can be seen as the ideal way to experience life, this is not an experience that everyone will be able to relate to. When someone is not in this position, they could find that it is normal for them to be both mentally and emotionally all over the place.

Consequently, they will rarely if ever feel calm and at ease, and thus, might struggle to remember the last time they felt at peace. If they were to describe their experience, it could be as though they are on a rubber dinghy that is constantly being tossed around by both big and small waves.

One Big Struggle

It is then not going matter what is going on externally as they will already find it hard to handle life. In other words, it won’t be necessary for them to have a big challenge to experience a lot of pressure as they will already be under a lot of stress.

Due to this, they could often do things that end up causing them even more problems and they could often find it hard to take action. This can mean that just about their whole life will revolve around surviving, not thriving.

A Closer Look

If they were to describe how they typically experience life, they could say that their thoughts are often all over the place and they usually experience a number of ‘negative’ feelings. So, there will be racing thoughts and they can often feel fearful and anxious, and there could even be moments when they experience terror.

When this is taking place, they could find that it is hard for them to simply sit still. Nonetheless, if they are not experiencing life in this way, it could be because they have gone into a shut down state and can’t feel anything.

A Dependent State

A lot of their time and energy may go into trying to settle themselves down, and some of the things that they engage in may be more destructive than others. They may try to do this by consuming different things and spending as much time as they can around others.

If they look towards alcohol or eat a lot, they may have created another problem for themselves. When it comes to their relationships, they may have been with a number of people that were not very healthy and they could be with someone who is like this now.

What’s going on?

After experiencing life in this way for as long as they can remember, they could wonder why they are this way. What this could show is that their early years were anything but nurturing, with this being a stage of their life when they were abused and neglected.

Their brain would then have blocked out what took place very early on to protect them, leaving them aware of the effects but oblivious to the cause. Ultimately, they wouldn’t have received the emotional and physical nutrients that they needed very early on in order to grow and develop.

The Outcome

They would have been deeply traumatised throughout this stage of their life and they wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it. They wouldn’t have been able to fight back or find another family to love them.

As a result of this, they would have had to repress how they felt, disconnecting from themselves in the process. They are now going to be carrying a lot of repressed pain and their nervous system will be overloaded.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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