When it comes to self-development, a lot is often said about the importance of being positive. The impact that this will have on how someone feels, their relationships and their ability to attain what they desire is typically mentioned.

With this in mind, if someone is into self-development, and even if they are not as a lot of what is spoken about in this area has entered the mainstream, they can do what they can to be positive. This can take place by them having ‘positive’ thoughts, using affirmations and focusing on the things that they are grateful for, for instance.

One Experience

Thanks to this, they can generally feel good, their relationships can be fulfilling and, over the years, they might have achieved a number of their goals. Still, although they will have the need to be positive, it doesn’t mean that they will act as though they live in a one-sided world.

Therefore, they can allow themselves to feel their ‘negative’ feelings as opposed to denying them. This will show that they are able to face both sides of life and are not out of balance.

A Clear Understanding

What this might illustrate is that they realise that, if they don’t face how they feel, they will be living in denial. It could also show that they are aware of how purely being positive more or less all the time would cause them to suppress and repress how they feel.

If they were to do this, they would be full of positivity on one level and full of negativity on another. The positivity that they experience would then be undermined by the negativity that they are also carrying.

An Illusion

What this shows is that it is possible for someone to cover up what is really going on for them by being positive. The negativity, by being pushed out of their conscious awareness, will then have appeared to have disappeared.

In reality, it will have simply been moved to another part of them and won’t have actually gone anywhere. But, as their brain will have the ability to lose touch with this material, it is possible for someone to actually believe that it has gone.

A Different Reality

However, even though there are some people who are positive and embrace what is not positive inside them, there are others who don’t. When someone is in this position, they are going to do everything that they can to more or less always be positive.

Whenever they experience a ‘negative’ thought or feeling, they are likely to cover up what is going on for them. Instead of being able to accept the dual nature of life, then, they will reject one side of life.


By having ‘positive’ thoughts and feelings, they can believe that the ‘negativity’ that they were experiencing has disappeared. There are at least two reasons as to why they would believe this.

First, one thing they are likely to believe is that their thoughts always create their feelings. Second, their brain has the ability to remove what is painful from their conscious awareness and, thereby, create the impression that it has gone.

A Build-Up

Yet, along with their thoughts having the ability to create how they feel, their thoughts can also trigger, and be a consequence of, repressed feelings. And, as their brain has the ability to remove what is painful from their conscious awareness, they will be deceived.

A natural outcome of them more or less always being positive, then, is that not only will they be in denial about what is really going on for them but they will carry a lot of ‘negativity’. Beyond their conscious sense of themselves, they will be carrying a lot of baggage.

A Big Impact

They will then see themselves as someone who is positive and even as having a ‘high’ vibration, and on one level this will be the case, but, another part of them will be full of ‘negativity’ and will be vibrating at a ‘low’ frequency. What is truly going on for them is also likely to stand out.

So, they could have people in their life who are very ‘negative’ and often end up in situations that are very ‘negative’. Ultimately, their reality will be mirroring back what is going on for them, but, as they see themselves as someone who is ‘positive’ and are unaware of the ‘negativity’ that they are carrying, they won’t be able to join the dots, so to speak.

Nowhere to Run

Sooner or later, what they have been avoiding is likely to catch up with them. At this point, they simply won’t be able to deny what is going on for them and will have to face reality.

This can be a time when they will have to face and work through a lot of pain. This pain can relate to the experiences that they have had as an adult and during their early years.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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