If someone was to take a look at their life, they may see that there is at least one area that is frustrating them. This area won’t be going as they want it to go and it may have been this way for as long as they can remember.

They may want to find someone who is emotionally available and yet, continually end up with people who are not. Due to what is taking place in this area of their life, it could be difficult for them to appreciate the areas of their life that are going well.

An Insurmountable Hurdle

Now, after spending time with someone like this, they may have hoped that the next person would be different. This will mean that they haven’t tried to do anything about what is going on.

If so, it may show that they believe that what takes place in this area of their life is out of their hands and that it all depends on luck. For some reason, then, they won’t have been very lucky and they might wonder if their luck will ever change.

External Feedback

If they are this way, there is a strong chance that the people in their life also have the same outlook. These people could say that one just needs to be patient and that their life will soon change.

It can be easier for them to accept this if they are at the beginning of their life, but if they are well past this stage, it is likely to be a lot harder for them to do this. Regardless of which stage of their life they are at, they could just do their best to stay positive and not to get caught up in negativity.

Another Approach

Conversely, one may have spent a lot of time, money and energy on trying to change this area of their life. If this is the case, it could make them believe that they have no control over this area of their life.

They will have been doing all the ‘right’ things, so it could be said that it is not going to be a surprise if they feel like a powerless victim. If they ever come into contact with people who are in a close relationship, it could be hard for them to handle.

A Closer Look

When it comes to what they have done to try to change this area of their life, there could be a whole host of things. For one thing, they may have put a lot of effort into their physical appearance to make themselves more attractive.

Additionally, they may have spent a lot of time looking into and questioning what they believe, and used positive thinking and different affirmations to change how they see and feel about themselves. Ultimately, they will have done a lot but they will have very little to show for it.

Another Experience

For someone to continually experience the same disempowering experiences again and again in one area of their life is going to be challenging enough, but to have more than one area like this is going to be even worse. When someone is in this position, they might have mornings when they question if it is worth getting out of bed.

Along with having the same old relational problems, they might not have been able to get very far in their career. They could make a certain amount of progress and, for no apparent reason, they could end up back where they started or close to it.

Groundhog Day

So, no matter what is going on in someone’s life, they are going to continually experience situations, circumstances and events that are not serving them. This is not only going to cause them to suffer, it will also stop them from being able to grow and to move forward.

At this point, one could believe that there is nothing that they can do; however, what if they have the power to change what is going on? To change what is going on, though, they may need to connect to what is taking place in their body.

Going Deep

If they connect to this part of their being, they will be able to get in touch with their inner child. Although they will be an adult, the child that they once were will live inside them.

As this part of them will be found in their body/unconscious mind, it is naturally going to have a big effect on how they feel and experience life. What is taking place at this level, not the level of their conscious mind, will have the most control over their life.

Repetition Compulsion

Their inner child will be re-creating what took place during their early years. The actors will be different but the emotional experiences that they have will be similar to the ones they had all those years ago.

This part of them will re-create similar experiences so that it can finally receive what it wasn’t able to receive all those years ago. It won’t matter that many, many years will have passed since that time as this part of them has no sense of time.

The Main Issue

The trouble is that as this part of them is causing them to re-create the past, it will also mean that, in general, they will find themselves in situations that won’t allow them to resolve what took place. For example, as the people they are drawn to are just as unavailable as their early caregivers were, it won’t be possible for them to resolve what took place.

As a result of what took place during their early years, they are likely to carry a lot of unmet childhood needs. To finally let go of what took place all those years ago and create a life that reflects who they are, they will need to grieve these unmet childhood needs.


If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, five hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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